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Help me understand this experience/vision?

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posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 01:45 AM
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2005, Winter, Location : Apartment in Texas, Influences : No controlled substances for greater than 72 hours - After a normal day by any relative meaning of the term, I retired to bed. My wife and daughter of under one year were in the other room with no more than a foot of construction separating us as they were in the other room watching television still widely awake. I awoke with a strange sense of being paralyzed, and moving at the same time. My body vibrated violently inside and I began to feel myself separate in such a way as I felt two sensations/beings/selfs at the same time. I will have to explain two existences, though keep in mind they are happening simultaneously to me.

Existence One : My body vibrated more violently than all the earthquakes of the world, I felt as if unseen forces were grasping the very core of my being and pulling me to the one side as another force pulled me to the other. I had the sensation of being thrown to my right side as if one side lost it's grip and then regained it and pulled me back to center. My neck snapped to the right side and back again. During all of these sensations, I experienced a pain that I cannot describe in words it was so great. It was as if the earth itself was projecting the worlds pain onto my body. Every part of my body was screaming for help, but no words came out. I wanted to cry, but no tears. I wanted to beg, but I could not move my arms. I was paralyzed totally and completely and saw my body fail to obey my own commands which only furthered the spiral of fear and hopelessness.

Existence Two : A massive calm seemed to reassure me that all would be well and this was something that had to happen, though unpleasant, it was very necessary. My mind's eye took over this existence and though I was aware of what was occurring (or really lack of since I was paralyzed) I began to drift through the wall and look down upon my family and felt a great sadness for their future. In that sadness there was hope for better things, though I could not fully understand why. Just seeing them reassured me that whatever darkness was having it's way with my body, I would not leave my loved ones tonight. I was filled with a sensation I have not since felt. This sensation is best described as if the whole worlds love took a detour through me, all the compassion touched my soul before it met it's intended target and I felt connected to every living being on the planet, and possibly the universe. The vastness was opened up to me and love poured in, I felt more powerful than I have in my entire life, but in such a way that it was totally pure.

It was at this time that everything seemed to return to a relative normalcy. I could still not move, look around, scream or even control my own thoughts. All I wanted to do was scream for my family and call for help. It seemed an eternity I sat there while the entire room started to fill with a foreboding cloud of darkness. It was not black, though it surely darkened everything it touched. It was opaque in nature and pulsed with energy. I felt the heaviness of it as it approached, like it was gravity and the nearer it came the more it weighed on my being.

It was just before it touched me that it froze, after consuming everything in the room except myself. I was floating but still aware of where I was. The universe had fallen away and yet everything was there. I felt alone but something kept me grounded. I felt imbued with hope in the face of hopelessness.

Something walked out of the cloud, and at first it seemed to be a visage the cloud itself produced. I strained to take it all in and realized that the cloud could not touch this visage, though it made every attempt to consume it. The visage turned into, and stay with me here, the rabbit-man from Donnie Darko. I am making it very clear at this point that which hand held which item is probably important in some way, though I have not figured it out thus far. The visages left hand held a ceremonial dagger already dripping with blood that spoke volumes of death to me. I noticed this dagger and became fixated on it at first. It was my death. I tried to scream and run, wake up or close my eyes but I could not. I was fixated against my will on this dagger. Finally, after that fear had just about ruined me, I felt directed at the right hand. In this hand was not an orb, though that's the best description I can give. It was shapeless though it seemed to gravitate toward a spherical shape. It surged with energy and the cloud immeditely dispersed to the farthest corners of the room, it's light seeming to chase it away to the recesses. It was at this time I knew the visage as Jesus Christ, and just s I realized this the orb pulsed and projected all of it's energy into my very core. The pain was worse than anything previously described and since felt. Everything went white and I awoke trembling exactly as I had last remembered myself during this episode. I ran into the other room with my wife babbling and a total wreck. I was crying (and that is very unusual for me as since birth I have cried not more than five times, three of which were very oddly reasoned). I have weighed the reasons for this 'Sleep Paralysis', vision, dream, nightmare, message from God ever since that day and it has had an enormous impact on my life.

I am basically looking for an outside opinion on what I have experienced. Call me crazy if you must, I accept any and all criticism.




posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 02:27 AM
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Thank you for your thread, it was well written and clearly from the heart. Without discrediting any other possibilities, I think that to call it a "dream" is the closest thing I could do in order to relate. Dreams like this are amazing, because they are so literal in every way. I have been scarred/opened by dreams that were very unexplainable. If it's all in our mind, then we don't give our "minds" enough credit.

I don't know what to say, but it sounds to me that you had a very empowering experience. To feel such yin and yang at the same time sounds like a karmatic release, or as if though you were briefly made a conduit of the polarities of Light and Dark. I am not well read at all, but I feel like I can understand what you went through. Can you tell us how you feel now, or maybe how you felt a few hours (or a day) after the experience?



posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 02:33 AM
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reply to post by sbctinfantry
 


Dont be so afraid of death? Its not so bad


I think with things like this, it causes oneself to have many questions about their perspective. perhaps that is the only purpose? its hard to tell.

Sleep paralysis and vivid dreams, however, are not entirely uncommon. Many who experience them can experience nothing but nightmares. There are remedies for that though


I had a lucid dream once.. Incredibly beautiful experience! It was a typical lucid dream, until i was encapsulated in searing light and love (best way to describe it) and could no longer do anything. As some will know, not being able to fulfill ones wishes in a lucid dream is a downright odd sensation.

then a voice spoke and said "What do you want to know?"

amazing..

anyway, why do i bring that up? because while that experience is vividly etched in this mind, it likely means very little to most others. i had to break down my own perspective to find the "answers," perhaps you must do the same friend



posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 05:24 PM
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It changed my life, I started to appreciate the finer things life bears. It beckoned me to open my third eye to try to recapture the experience. I have appreciated my children more since that day in ways I otherwise could never have. I have embraced myself and always look inward before I seek answers outwardly.

I have learned that the self is the most awesome power there is, that we are but filters in a world where truth is always stained with untruth. Our mind's eye is the clearest inisght into the universe and we are constantly pulled toward evil, like a ship lost at sea. Our entire life is a struggle down the path of enlightenment, not for some higher purpose other than to live pure, and purely live.
edit on 2010/12/19 by sbctinfantry because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 09:57 PM
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It does seem there was definintely an inner struggle of polarities, but also an inner death and resurrection maybe? I think those experiences are always connected to our own inner growth and what we are ready for. I also agree that all answers are within. I truly believe we aren't given more than we can handle. I'm so glad mine wasn't that traumatic, lol. I did feel a strong connection to everything and there really is no way to explain the feeling of compassion and unspeakable joy.



posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 10:18 PM
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Originally posted by Onboard2
It does seem there was definintely an inner struggle of polarities, but also an inner death and resurrection maybe? I think those experiences are always connected to our own inner growth and what we are ready for. I also agree that all answers are within. I truly believe we aren't given more than we can handle. I'm so glad mine wasn't that traumatic, lol. I did feel a strong connection to everything and there really is no way to explain the feeling of compassion and unspeakable joy.


Can you share more, if possible? Or possibly link to another post citing your experiences? I'm interested in gathering those experiences and digesting them in whole so that I can possibly further understand my own.



posted on Dec, 20 2010 @ 06:12 AM
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reply to post by sbctinfantry
 


I noticed this thread was quiet and thought I’d take the opportunity to at least give you some feedback. I would not be posting if you had received an assortment of replies or dream interpretations, I am not a dream interpreter by any means. Perhaps ATS is lacking in that department. There is also the personal element, with regard to your own personality, life circumstances etc. Any attempt at interpretation would normally require a two way dialogue between dreamer and interpreter of a sufficient depth not really appropriate for ATS.
Having said all that, I am happy, at least at this level, to share my first impressions with you. It is said or understood and supported by that old wizard of dream interpretation, Jung, that we have big dreams and little dreams. Meaning of course that ‘said’ big dreams are manifestations of and pertaining to the collective unconscious, the little dreams of course are more relevant on a personal level. Jung did say that those ‘big dreams’ should be talked about, thought about, worried about and worked at as they may contain something of great value. I have no idea what you have made of this dream, or even what you think about dreams in general. Let me give it a shot.
Dreams normally portray a given situation they also may also contain the solution if the situation requires one. This solution may just be the result of correctly interpreting the dream imagery. Your dream, for me, is a big dream it contains perhaps four or five elements. You have, for whatever reason, been given a glimpse into the fundamental nature of reality. The first element, love, cannot be portrayed in an image. Any image of love contains conditionality. If love is the underlying principle of everything it can only be realized through feeling or emotion this was given to you in the dream and you saw the truth of unconditional love, this truth is overpowering and overwhelming. The second element, the rabbit represents time, or what stands behind time. He holds two things one is life the other death. Those are the other two elements. Life of course being love, however once love enters the realm of time it is always conditional, and of course painful, that is why it is a painful love you then experienced. Death of course is also born of time and gives rise to our greatest of fears, that of extinction. The dream then of course offers the solution, this being the fifth element…

Perhaps I’ve said enough for the moment, this may be something that you have already discounted. How can I say? If not then at least it may give you another line of approach. Let me know what you think.

Regards Midicon.



posted on Dec, 20 2010 @ 11:02 AM
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I have much to think about after your post. I had previously thought more about this in very personal terms, as I'm not familiar with the esoteric. I am compelled to look into this author, and would appreciate any more in depth analysis you can offer. Know that I firmly believe we are always humbled in our attempts to explain that which seems to elude it, but our very nature beckons us to do so. In short, I appreciate whatever assistance anyone can offer on this journey to understanding even the smallest facet of this experience.



posted on Dec, 21 2010 @ 10:25 AM
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reply to post by sbctinfantry
 

Hi

I gave you a little time to do some light Jungian reading. Although I should perhaps have warned you that it wouldn’t do you any good. Jung is a labor of love that can take a lifetime, and regardless, I only mentioned him to show that dreams can be approached in different ways. I was once up to my knees in Jung but that was a while ago. Now you should be aware that this dream has passed and its relevance to you may not still apply. It may have served its purpose, if indeed it had purpose to begin with. I gave you my first impressions really to see if you had previously considered or had any resonance with my line of thinking. The rabbitman for me was a dead giveaway but not because of Donnie Darko. It is a recurrent theme, I suppose brought into the modern psyche by Lewis Carroll and his white rabbit’s obsession with time, Carroll himself tapping into folklore etc. There is even an echo of this in The Matrix when Morpheus says ‘time to wake up Neo, and follow the white rabbit’ Now you say ‘no controlled substances for seventy two hours’ can you elaborate on that? Bearing in mind that my reason for asking may not be the reason you infer from my question. I have some ideas that may push you in the right direction but they might require a little dialogue between us. It’s up to you, remember I have said that I am not a dream interpreter but I may be your last best hope for resolution.

Regards Midicon.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:41 AM
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I only mentioned it because the previous year I was into psychadelics. I wanted any reader to know this wasn't a third-eye type experience and I was wholly sober at the time.



posted on Dec, 23 2010 @ 08:18 AM
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reply to post by sbctinfantry
 


I have had my own experiences with being awakened to the existence of God and the Spirits of the Universe speaking to and through us. My experiences were not like yours they were more spread out over time, Although many of the events involved the feelings of being torn apart emotionally and also feeling loved comforted and peaceful at the same time and then having a sense of being empowered afterwards are very similar. I also during one event felt a great fear like i had never had before and for a brief moment I felt that if I did not submit myself to whatever forces were at play that I would surely die. And as soon as I decided to submit and stop fighting almost offering myself up to whatever it was that was attacking me I felt no fear and a calming euphoria and feelings of extascy set in.

Looking back and reflecting on the past there were many times that these events had occured in my lifetime although they were much more subtle than the ones that finally convinced me to open my eyes my ears my heart and my mind and eventually my mouth to the word of God. I had just been ignoring them for quite a long time. I had always doubted what i was feeling and witnessing was real and I questioned whether they were just figments of my imagination thinking i was just seeing what i wanted to see and hearing what i wanted to hear..

One of the early subtle events was so strange and unexplainable to me that i completely blew it off as an hallucination. Even having disregarded this event it still stuck with me and was a life changing event. I didn't believe what my eyes were seeing because it had occured when i was under the influence of coc aine. I was just sitting in my room and watching TV and getting high when a short clip for the evening news came on the TV. It was a reporter who was covering a story about people protesting at the City Hall in San Francisco which is where i am from. All of a sudden I saw my grandmother standing behind the reporter on the steps of City Hall waving at the camera and at me. She was smiling and waving her hand saying hello. All the other people around her were shouting and looked angry walking with picket signs. My eye was drawn to the image of my grandmother standing behind the reporter because she didn't fit into the whole scenario. She stood out like a sore thumb.

She really stood out in the image as being something strikingly different than her surroundings. Something about the image wasn't right like she didn't really belong there for some reason and she wasn't acting like all the people around her. As soon I noticed her and recognized her. I did a a sort of double take and shook my head blinking my eyes and i was so freaked out I said to myself "oh my god "as i jumped up from my seat and ran up close to screen to get a closer look. And sure enough it was her only she looked about 10 or 20 years younger than she actually was. then the quick clip ad was over. And i was left standing there with my mouth hanging open in shock and total confusion.about what I just saw..

At the time my grandmother was in a nursing home and I i really believed it was her on the screen so vividly that right after the clip ended I had to call the nursing home to find out if she was still there and when i called she was still there. So I decided that I didn't see what i saw even though I was absolutely positive it was her. This led me to go and visit her at the hospital and I went back once a week for about 2 months. I even brought my guitar and sang her a song i had just written not very long before the TV event had occured.

One night during my shift at work.I leaned against a mirror very lightly. A mirror that many people had leaned against many many times. And as I leaned against it, it broke leaving a large single crack across the center. Earlier that same night i was standing at a window that was facing the direction of the nursing home my grandmother was at and a huge bolt of lightning struck the ground directly in the area of the nursing home. I thought nothing of it at the time except that what bad luck to break the mirror and it was a strange lightning bolt because there was no rain storm that night and the lighting bolt was very was unique and uncommon for our area. We usually only see flashes in the sky and rarely see a bolt actually hit the ground. Also to my best recollection I didn't even hear any thunder and no other lighting occured the rest of that night. The next day I learned that my grandmother had passed away during the night just about the same time as the lighting had occured.

Then during the following months after that i really was emotionally shook up. It was the first close family member that had died during my lifetime and the events leading up to it were starting to feel surreal and lined up like pieces of a puzzle. I also couldn't get the image of my grandmother from the TV out of my mind which somewhat comforted me during the times I mourned for her passing and I felt so glad I went and saw her and visited with her those times before she died.

The next event was one that caused me to be so afraid It put me in a brief state of panic. It was a few years later and I was now living in a new house which was near a graveyard. I was always kinda creeped out by that and I had been feeling that a ghostly presence was watching me at night. One night i was dozing off to sleep when i felt that presence of a ghost and i started to get upset and said out loud "go away" in an angry voice. Thats when i felt something touch my leg and i froze in fear held my breath and felt like i was going to have a heart attack. I then said out loud "please don't kill me" and in thought i said i will do what ever you want threw my arms to each side giving up thinking i was going to die. At that exact moment all my fear subsided and I felt totally relaxed and safe and loved like a cloud was petting me all over my body.and i felt like a baby in it's mothers warm embrace.

During the next few months I began to start hearing whispers and voices in my head and started seeing hidden messages that seemed to be calling me and some acted like they were jumping and waving at me and others were blinking and flashing trying to get my attention, I heard animals like birds and dogs that seemed to be reacting to my emotional state of mind with loud calls and barks and when i thinking negatively and when i calmed myself down they calmed down too. I continued to hear and see these messages from strange but also common symbols i had normally passed by every day. It was like he Spirits of the Universe were trying to speak to me everywhere and in everything almost all the time for days and unless I made serious effort to block it out. I couldn't stop it from happening. Sometimes I tried blocking it out of fear or anger or just from total exhuastion of trying to understand and comprehend the meanings. But I also was drawn to these messages and started looking for them more and more. Soon I was assigning personal meanings to everything and i couldn't even watch the TV at times because every word i heard was freaking me out like it was directed straight at me, I even tried flipping through the channels to break away from the madness but it just followed me. I slowly stopped trying to look for the messages and symbolism surrounding me and I eventually blocked it out for a long period of time and somewhat began to question whether it real or was it just my own mind playing tricks on me.

Well a few years had past and I knew that i wasn't going insane. I was able to sort of turn it on and off whenever was necessary to go about my daily life. But every now and then i would turn it on when i was alone and I was again bombarded with messages from what I believed to be from an invisible force or other dimension. I learned or taught myself to quiet the madness and interpret the meanings that these messages were saying. And it all said that I was very important as are all of us on this planet. and that i needed to improve upon myself to better my life and the people around me and eventually that would help in better the entire planet and the Union that we have with God. That God is upset with us for our behavior to him the planet and ourselves and how can we be so blind and stupid and selfish to ignore him and all the times he's spoken directly to us through out our lives. .

Well these messages haven't stopped and they are becoming more and more widespread into the lives of everyone. The hand of God is directing us to look at ourselves in the mirror and giving us a reality check like never before. Because we have never been so blind to the importance of our collective soul and the love we are supposed to be giving to each other and to God and to our blessed planet. It is our duty to remind everyone to wake up and look around and start to clean up the mess we're making of our lives and our planet and our future. If we don't he may just decided to let the cockroaches take over the Earth and see if they can do a better job. But as much as he is hurt and sad and upset with our behavior. He is also proud and has hope for us still and is encouraging us all to find him and the love we are receiving everyday. And that we are a conduit for that light and love and that we all already know this in our hearts.

So why the hell are we still ignoring it and being so careless. We have become a fast food, TV dinner, make a quick buck at any cost society of consumers that will tear this world apart unless we each do our part to behave better on all levels. Even our thoughts matter and this is nothing new but it has really gotten out of control and we are quickly and exponentially creating our own demise by being a bunch of spoiled brats who have to have what we want when we want it and if we don't get it then we're going to throw a tantrum and ruin it for everyone.else.

Please everyone this is so important to pass on the message and find Gods Love within your soul. To teach the future generations the mistakes we have made and to not repeat the past ones. It will be easy if we all can let go of the fear and hate that greed and jealousy has caused within our lives. It's time to WAKE UP and GROW UP and CLEAN UP. and be kind to each other, love each other help each other more. It's not so impossible unless we decide to just ignore the truth and feed into the fear and lies we keep telling our selves everyday.

What does God have to do to make you believe he/she/we /it exists? Do you need a miracle? Do you need to see it to believe it? Look in the mirror and there you are. If you don't want talk to God. thats fine he hears you anyway.. He loves you anyway . He believes in us even if we don't believe in him. But you must believe in Love and you must try to help fix the problems that we have created. Before this heaven becomes our hell. The future depends on all of us to do what is right in our hearts. Not just what is right for our wallets. We are all family no one is more important than the next. Treat others and the Planet like you would want to be treated.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 07:57 AM
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Originally posted by MathiasAndrew
I have had my own experiences with being awakened to the existence of God and the Spirits of the Universe speaking to and through us. My experiences were not like yours they were more spread out over time, Although many of the events involved the feelings of being torn apart emotionally and also feeling loved comforted and peaceful at the same time and then having a sense of being empowered afterwards are very similar. I also during one event felt a great fear like i had never had before and for a brief moment I felt that if I did not submit myself to whatever forces were at play that I would surely die. And as soon as I decided to submit and stop fighting almost offering myself up to whatever it was that was attacking me I felt no fear and a calming euphoria and feelings of extascy set in.

...

What does God have to do to make you believe he/she/we /it exists? Do you need a miracle? Do you need to see it to believe it? Look in the mirror and there you are. If you don't want talk to God. thats fine he hears you anyway.. He loves you anyway . He believes in us even if we don't believe in him. But you must believe in Love and you must try to help fix the problems that we have created. Before this heaven becomes our hell. The future depends on all of us to do what is right in our hearts. Not just what is right for our wallets. We are all family no one is more important than the next. Treat others and the Planet like you would want to be treated.


An extraordinary, credible and fantastic reply sir. I am sorry that I could not acknowledge it sooner, I just left the E.R. hours ago as my liver is slowly failing and I find myself in and out more often each day. I mention that only because since that day I have felt death lurking, but lost all fear of it. In the very basic sense, I am afraid; not of death or the act, but what I have left to do. I have a mission, a path, a purpose since that day. I felt unleashed in ways I can not describe. I have woken many up to the evil men that inhabit this world. I have faced true unhindered fear and death and a power forced me to taste it whilst knowing that I was protected from the harm. Protected not from death, but from the emptiness of it.

Life has been more fulfilling. I have the ability to put into words that I couldn't previously understand. I have awoken men, strangers, complete non-believers to the path that will eventually lead them to a God they never know and will never find in any church.

Sadly, I am dying from liver complications and there is no explanation after three doctors. I relish the less than monthly glass of wine, eat mainly salad with bread, vegetables, fruit, do not smoke, and yet for all the modern miracle of medicine remain under ailment unexplained.

The 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.


I read the Bible daily, keep my religion secret publicly around town, and outright refuse to go to church. I find the most happiness in true volunteer work, spreading the message of corruption and green in the city I live where the mayor is a 33rd degree mason and owner of three businesses, and the city council members face unnoposed elections ever after one was jailed for spousal abuse. God has not asked me to spread his word, or at least I do not believe so. I believe that all paths lead back to a higher power, and that we are only denying our faiths.
edit on 2010/12/24 by sbctinfantry because: shortening of quote



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 08:39 AM
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reply to post by sbctinfantry
 


Hi,
Sorry about the delay in replying, but I have been thinking about this and wasn’t sure of the best way to proceed. If I may I’ll just let my thoughts wander where they will.
In my mind I have no doubt what you have experienced is real. For want of better words I would say that you have seen a vision. If you do some reading on what I have described as ‘big dreams’ you may find some similarities. People who have experienced this type of vision often spend the rest of their lives trying to understand it. The vision has a numinous quality that is different from dreams, and not only that, there is the impact of emotion/feeling etc. They are perhaps rare, but not as rare as you might think. This vision of yours is a metaphor, played out using archetypal imagery. Sometimes this can be easy to interpret and sometimes downright elusive. Let me give you an example. I used to have a friendship/acquaintance with a Sufi master. He taught two spiritual classes and held a high standing in the Sufi community. Anyway one day during a conversation I happened to mention the subject of enlightenment, and he said ‘I am enlightened’, to be honest he does seem to be pretty enlightened. He told me his enlightenment had come about as the result of a vision that he had in a dream. His vision was different from yours but in a similar way it was archetypal. The details are sketchy in my memory, but it was something to the effect that. The vision appeared as a beautiful woman on a throne. Like a goddess perhaps or the queen of heaven etc…she held in her hands two glasses and she poured liquid gold from one glass into the other. I should have asked him more about it at the time but the conversation turned to something else. You should remember also, that those ‘old testament prophets’ and suchlike, all had their visions in a dream. In fact I daresay any supposed words of god came to men through dreams and visions. And this unconditional love thing is experienced by many. I should know, two years ago it touched me.

When we talk about the self or the unconscious we tend to forget that, no matter how mysterious or magical it may seem it is only ourselves that we are dealing with. Whatever qualities the self holds are our qualities. When the self approaches us, or we approach the self it is seen as the other can give rise to the greatest terror. Its image seems to have a life, vitality and power all of its own. However the touch of the self is unconditional love, it can’t be any other way. It is yourself that is touching you.

I asked about the controlled substances, primarily because you mentioned them and because I am interested in any precipitating factors like illness,stress, depression, who knows. Sometimes a mystical experience can arise from the most suicidal condition. It could be anything and nothing. Even perhaps the cessation of taking something like cannabis can open the floodgates of the unconscious.

So far what I think is…you have been shown that there is no death.
You now know the love that awaits you.
There is no burden or worry about your loved ones, they too have this boundless eternal love within them and all is well.

Regards Midicon.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 12:29 PM
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I don't think any controlled substances were at play in this dream, but I will say that shortly after I was compelled to join the Army, and within a month I was in Ft. Benning, GA and before the years end I was preparing to go to Iraq for the first time. I faced one of the most vicious combat experiences since the wars inception. You can look it up to see even what unit I was with, the 2-3 Infantry Patriot Batallion. The battle that most marks our tour was the Battle of Zarqa (also knows as the battle of Najaf, though under that name it is confused much with another battle) where a full night of fighting resulted in 700 confirmed enemy, almost half KIA, almost half captured and as far as I'm aware another 100+ I can't discuss. I deployed to the worst place in Iraq at the time, Sadr City, where we saw nightly firefights at best because we were also rotating QRF duties (Quick Reaction Force) out of an 82nd Airborne (the workings of gained me some coins, the praise of a First Sergeant, and the ability to wear the combat patch) COP (combat out post) that was mortar attacked, RPG attacked, and under threat of sniper fire (though weekly at best). After about a week of that QRF duty, I would continue, along with my brothers, to read or write even under direct mortar attack because we had all accepted that running or even really caring was a waste. It carried over to the FOB we rotated out of occasionally. When there was good eats available, we prayed for a mortar attack so the fobbits would rush to the bunkers, arguably the prime target for the attacks, and we would move to the front of the line which could otherwise be as much as 75+ persons deep. I stared men down face to face and have taken their lives, thankfully without hesitation, though I am still dealing with the consequences. War is hell, but I never truely feared death than I did that night. I don't think I ever will again.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 01:01 PM
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Originally posted by sbctinfantry

Originally posted by Onboard2
Can you share more, if possible? Or possibly link to another post citing your experiences? I'm interested in gathering those experiences and digesting them in whole so that I can possibly further understand my own.


I think you are absolutely correct.


This sensation is best described as if the whole worlds love took a detour through me, all the compassion touched my soul before it met it's intended target and I felt connected to every living being on the planet, and possibly the universe. The vastness was opened up to me and love poured in, I felt more powerful than I have in my entire life, but in such a way that it was totally pure.


I hope I've done my quotes right.Most Christians believe it's outside of them and it's not. I came out of my experience knowing that nothing matters, but love/light. If I did explain it, people wouldn't believe it. That deep compassion or higher consciousness can literally bend spoons.

I was just reading Khaaaan's thread on the three Magi. The star became the starchild. Everyone is a star child and it's not just a select few, but those that are ready for it.

I don't have any links. Most spiritual experiences are very personal and intimate. I firmly believe in the 'christ' consciousness.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 01:09 PM
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I can say that the right hand would represent the analytical, action side of us and the left the creative, nurturing side. I feel your experience prepared you for Iraq.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 01:42 PM
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Originally posted by Onboard2
\I hope I've done my quotes right.Most Christians believe it's outside of them and it's not. I came out of my experience knowing that nothing matters, but love/light. If I did explain it, people wouldn't believe it. That deep compassion or higher consciousness can literally bend spoons.

I was just reading Khaaaan's thread on the three Magi. The star became the starchild. Everyone is a star child and it's not just a select few, but those that are ready for it.

I don't have any links. Most spiritual experiences are very personal and intimate. I firmly believe in the 'christ' consciousness.


Could you provide a link to that post by Khaaaan? Is it on ATS or somewhere else? I'm open to any views, whether they oppose mine or not on any level or topic. Even if it's mere circumstantial evidence or opinion. Truth is derived just as much from the tangible as the intangible and lies, not to say anything that is outside my scope is a lie, but at the very least I can draw some meaning from anything after giving it a fair shot.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 01:44 PM
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Originally posted by Onboard2
I can say that the right hand would represent the analytical, action side of us and the left the creative, nurturing side. I feel your experience prepared you for Iraq.


Jokingly, ask an Iraqi what the left hand represents! I do know that the symbolism of the hands is deep and varied. In many cultures the left hand is a sign of impurity or evil. Truthfully, an Iraqi would agree with a Christian on these matters.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 04:28 PM
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Originally posted by sbctinfantry

Originally posted by Onboard2
I can say that the right hand would represent the analytical, action side of us and the left the creative, nurturing side. I feel your experience prepared you for Iraq.


Jokingly, ask an Iraqi what the left hand represents! I do know that the symbolism of the hands is deep and varied. In many cultures the left hand is a sign of impurity or evil. Truthfully, an Iraqi would agree with a Christian on these matters.


I'm sorry, I just came back on. I'll have to find Khaaaan's thread later. I have baking and a family gathering. Maybe someone can provide the link. I usually end up searching and searching for threads I want to go back to.

I understand the stigma of the left hand path, but this doesn't involve the brain. The left hand path is living in the past and the right is the future-"Cast your net to the right". In the Matrix, we see Persephone pointing to the 'left' on the lower level after she shoots one of the vampires(outdated program), lol.

In our dreams, our feelings can be very emotional and intense. The right side of the brain represents our feeling, creative, intuitive and nurturing side and controls the left side of the body. This is why most are right handed. The majority of society is right handed and the analytical side is more developed. I'm sure someone else could explain this better than I.



posted on Dec, 24 2010 @ 04:35 PM
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Now I understand what you are referring to, sbctinfantry. The being was holding a dagger in the right hand, which represented your inner death? I'm so confused now. I try to notice every symbol in my dreams, but what they mean to me doesn't necessarily mean the same to another.



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