posted on Dec, 19 2010 @ 04:55 AM
Halfoldman, everybody makes mistakes.
When I was married I forgave my husband his first few affairs, because the sex drive can be awfully strong, and people can be weaker than they expect.
Not that it helped, he ended up in a long-term affair with a marriage wrecker. But many married people do mess up once, get forgiven and then make
sure they never get into that situation again. Sometimes people don't realise how sex can be a powerful whirlpool that drags a person into it and
turns their brains to goo until the deed's done. Some people learn from this and make sure they just don't spend too much time alone with an
attractive person of the opposite sex again.
And sometimes we just shouldn't judge because we don't know what it's like inside another person's marriage.
My mother used to boast to us kids that she was a "pure woman" who hated sex, and tell us how dreadful our father was,because he "enjoyed it".
She apparently let have sex once a year, for his birthday, and I doubt he looked forward to that cold act of marital duty. They'd been quasi
"betrothed" at an early age and he'd had an affair in his teens, and she decided to punish him for the rest of his life. Seeing her with a female
friend, I believe she was an unacknowledged lesbian, and messed up by this as well. So do you think any of us kids were shocked when our dad had an
affair? On the contrary, we covered for him.
However anyone else would have been shocked with him, because, to outsiders, ours was a perfect family, and our parents, "models of good Christian
values and pillars of the community".
So don't judge her, Halfoldman, we all do wrong, and for many it's a struggle not to commit this great wrong.
But if you are talking to her again, I suggest you tell her how torn you are by co-operating in deceiving her husband, and explain that, if she does
this again, you will have to tell him.
Despite the way your OP could be read, I'm presuming it was not you she played up with, because you don't appear to be that way inclined or that
irresposible. If it was you, because of your circumstances, you need to tell him straight out, and face up to the consequences.