Adultery - ruins everybody's lives.

I like to live my life honestly and openly.

Now a best friend has betrayed her husband.
What is worse, most of us know this guy.

I think people stand and lie before God when they make their wedding vows.

It is forbidden to sleep with a married woman.
Tonight I told somebody.

Lord help me.

Do people who get married and commit adultery actually realize what they do to the people around them?

reply to post by halfoldman

Some people don't have morals.
Most people have morals and don't follow them (Such as believing you shouldn't judge people but do it anyways.)
Nobody has morals and follows them all.

monogamy: ruins lives

reply to post by halfoldman


We must not forget, however, that everything we do will come back to us. If people really understood the gravity of this statement, they would hold every action, every word, and every thought captive until they were certain it was safe to release. We are living products of our deeds. On a deeper level, we subconsciously CHOOSE to do things on the evil side, because it will provide difficulties in our lives which will spark growth and change. Strange creatures, we are!

reply to post by halfoldman


It's not that black and white though...

There's always a variable in those situations.. Sometimes, there's sexual abuse in their history, or trust issues, all sorts of stuff.. It's easy to label when your on the outside looking in..

reply to post by halfoldman


How sad for your friend's family.


If the friend was so "tempted," why not just give the spouse prior notice about said object of desire, discuss, and/or seek counseling? Marriage vows shouldn't be broken, but it is better to be open and honest than to put the spouse through the ultimate betrayal of the relationship and trust.

Unfortunately, the statistics of adultery are staggering. And as the above poster mentioned, it can be credited to a moral break-down.

Some people have DIFFERENT views than OTHERS.
Let people make their mistakes.
This is an affair that doesn't involve you, (as much as you may think)

Two people that love each other have a bond with each other.
It's their choice to do what they want with what they have.

monogamy is mostly a religious issue.

In nature we have some animals that form social bonds for life, but it has been proven males and females in these bonds cheat. its a natural survival instinct to spread and diversify the gene pool.

If you ever had a mate cheat on you, It sucks, but we have been taught this.

reply to post by halfoldman


I agree completely with your sentiment, but not with your actions. So somehow you found out and you took it upon yourself to tell someone else? It's really none of your personal business, yet you have decided to spread the destruction just a little further. You don't know all the motivations and issues in these people's lives. You don't know all the issues, yet you've taken it upon yourself to stir the pot. You've heard about casting the first stone, haven't you? Not good. Not good at all.

reply to post by squirelnutz


Excuses, excuses!

If one doesn't intend to take on personal accountability and responsibility, then stay single and don't get married.

reply to post by halfoldman
halfoldman,

You know the affair didn't amount to much when they engaged in it as they both knowing it was a terrible wrong. The satisfaction wasn't there. It was an ugly thing and they knew it almost immediatly.

Now the terrible fight comes on and there can be no relationship between them again even if he says he forgives her. The trust is gone. The oneness they should have had can never be again. One should be for the spouse both ways through out life and then it grows stronger and better as time goes and the conflicts of life are battled side by side as one.

It is far more serious than most realize to take the marriage vow. For better or worse they have vowed to uphold each other for life.

Can it be repaired? Very doubtful.

Truthiron.

reply to post by halfoldman


im sorry for u
i agree its a bad thing
my parents divorced because of somthing like this
and most people do lie before god when they marry

i think she should leave him then problem solved wright

on the other hand its normal to be atraccted to other woman i think
so maybe it can be solved

and i jusr rearead ur thread and i think u told somebody cuz in ur hart u felt it was wrong and now ur afraid that he or maybe she will be mad at u,
u did the wright thing
a relation build on lies is not good i assure u

so how do u know he betrayed her

Yes but they are self absorbed and they don't care. Theres always an excuse in their heads. In reality there is no excuse.

Not everyone stands and lies, but the ones telling the truth are the ones that get hurt.

Get it all out in the open. Leopards don't change their spots and he's better off rid of her as soon as possible.

Originally posted by halfoldman
I like to live my life honestly and openly.

Now a best friend has betrayed her husband.
What is worse, most of us know this guy.

I think people stand and lie before God when they make their wedding vows.

It is forbidden to sleep with a married woman.
Tonight I told somebody.

Lord help me.

Do people who get married and commit adultery actually realize what they do to the people around them?

edit on 18-12-2010 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

All I know is the pain never subsides. The devastating effects change a person forever. It leaves a hollow spot inside that, try as you may, never fills. "They" and their egos destroyed something beautful and childlike inside me. I will never be the person I once was.

My mother and sister only knew and they too were completely thrown off guard as well. The first thing they asked through tears was "when did he have the time? You two were always together" He showed NO signs. Still bought home flowers, no working late, no bedroom issues, no new dressing style or cologne,

Only ONE moment of the day unaccounted for...His 5am gym time. Egos run high there I suppose.

reply to post by halfoldman


I am sorry for your friends family. Unfortunitely we seem to live in an instant gratification society. When there is trouble leave one and on to the next. Throw it away and get a new one. The statistics of divorce in america is staggering and so very sad. And yet when you look at the singles scene most seem to be looking for that special one and yet have forgotten the hard work that is involved in hanging on to a good relationship. Just an opinion.

reply to post by justwokeup


i disagree
i think its impossible to fullly understand the things u do to other people at a time like that
and if he didnt care hurting ur feelings u shouldnt be with him in the first place

and hes better of without her??
why u dont have any info on his wife at least not from this thread and the only info u have on him is that he cheated his wife...
so i think u mean shes better of without him

It's not good time to be Halfoldman on this planet.
I wish I was gone.

I've seen this # with my now aged parents.
My mum stuck through it.

However, society reserves a whole different hell for a woman who does it.

My worst fear is the husband finding out and hating me - I should have been a better friend and told him?

Have I betrayed my gender?

Adultery - best thing that ever happened to me actually.

Imagine my amusement upon discovering my ex was boning her boss while I was at home with the kids waiting up for her til 4am. How I laughed!
Now imagine my amusement on finding out that her new love interest (near retirement age :lol not only needed Viagra to ahem 'perform' but now also has a very terminal case of prostate cancer.

He who laughs last etc.

I was a grown woman when my dad cheated on my mom really bad. My half sister had been blackmailing my dad AND helping him arrange the trysts.

It all broke Christmas Eve.

I have never seen my mother so broken in all my life.
My dad came to live with me and he was really a mess too- he was just totally lost.

My mother and dad got back together but my mom got cancer not long after - it probably started during that b/c that is when she lost so much weight - and then she died at 59 years old.

Christmas has never, ever been the same for me.
I can't stand to look at my sister.

reply to post by halfoldman


no
its the wright thing u did but i understand ur upset
there was a nice girl who her boyfriend cheated on her
i didnt tell her cuz i didnt know her that well
but i should have
cuz if evrybody knows the guy is cheatin its not good
wouldnt u want somebody to tell u if it happened to u

as far as the guy being mad at u
i dont think he will be
and he made a mistake so he should deal with it
just try and relax maybe get out of town for a while

and maybe u should call ur girlfriend tell her in person
its gonna be hard but its much fairer to her just be honest
u have nuthing to be ashamed off,

srry i thougt a guy cheated on his wife

and i thought u were a girl lol

my mistake

to get it straigt ur a guy and a close friend who is a girl cheated on her husband


and ur afraid of the guy being mad?

please explain a lil better