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'Twas the Night Before A Conspiracy Theorist's Christmas, When All Through the Boards...

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posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:24 PM
'Twas the night before a conspiracy theorist's Christmas, when all through the boards

Not even a Moderator was modding, not even SkepticOverlord;

The threads were slowing on ATS while conspiracy theorist's were traveling or snoozing,

In hopes that the next False-Flag Operation soon would be here;

The trolls were considering how to antagonize regular members,

While visions of applauses, flags, and stars danced in regular members heads;

And Jim Marrs pumping out books, and myself asleep drooling,

Had just passed out from working on my respective plans for books,

When out in the world there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to my computer to see what was the matter.

Away to Bill Gates Window's® I flew like a flash,

Tore open my Internet Explorer and put away my Christmas bonus cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-threads

Gave the lustre of mid-day to the posters on Off-Topic Discussions

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature thread topic, and eight Mainstream Media campaign smears,

With a little newsworthy story, so lively and slick,

I knew in a moment it must be trick.

More rapid than eagles their lies they did come,

And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, CNN! now, MSNBC! now, WeshTV and CBS!

On, Glenn Beck! on Bill O'Reilly! on, Limbaugh and Moore!

Stop the partisan bickering! Tell the truth to them all!

Now go away! go away! go away all!"

As my paranoia mounted and my hackles did rise,

When the powers that be did meet an obstacle, from utter surprise,

So up to the White House the memos did fly,

With the National Security threats about conspiracy theorists who were apprised.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Above Top Secret

The threads were whirring, the flags were being clicked on.

As I drew my parallels with past events, the new ones emerged,

Down with corrupt powers, but Government can stay, but only if they obey.

SkepticOverlord began stirring, wondering what did abound,

The Bilderberg group they were sneaking, without making a sound;

But Daniel Estulin did spot them, Alex Jones was ranting,

And the Bilderberger's all looked like a pedophiles just spying a snack.

Their eyes -- how they did sink in their sockets! their security how merry!

They got to beat back the people they saw as deadbeats!

As the United Nations did plot and plan treason against their own countrymen,

They thought they should be allowed all of our money without a valid reason;

The World Bankers did laugh and smile most vile,

As the R.F.I.D. chip system did creep along for another mile;

Across another nations boundary without resistance with a belly,

The conspiracy theorists all talked, when World Bankers laughed as their plan was jelling.

T.S.A. was grabbing and groping, as holiday travelers avoids those new scanners,

And I laughed when I saw through it all, in spite of myself and my standards;

A wink from a few fellow conspiracy theorist's had confirmed what I had in my head,

Soon gave me to know everyone had something to dread;

We spoke not a word, but typed up new threads without seeing it as work,

And filled all the boards; then turned with a jerk,

And laying down three fingers aside of each other,

We all gave them the one-fingered salute, and told them what we thought of their mothers;

The Above Top Secret Street Views sprang to their desk, to the team gave a whistle,

And grabbed the average Joe off the streets, and they spoke words like missles.

But I heard some of them exclaim, before they walked out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

edit on 12/18/10 by SpartanKingLeonidas because: Adding Depth and Insight Into the Post.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:33 PM
I spilled my eggnog Star and Flagging this thread

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:35 PM
Happy Hollidays to all.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:45 PM
That was awesome!
Thanks for all the time and thought you put into that!
Made me laugh when I really needed one!

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:50 PM
reply to post by SLAYER69

So sorry about that.

reply to post by liejunkie01

To you as well.

reply to post by Night Star

You are most welcome.

I did too which is why I did it.

Glad you got a good laugh.


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of ATS!

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:50 PM

Merry Christmas to all and to all shut the hell up.

edit on 12/18/2010 by Misoir because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 01:58 PM
Nice job, Spartan...

Merry Christmas to you and to everyone in the ATS family!

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 02:06 PM
reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

You celebrate Christmas the way you want to, I'll celebrate it the way I want to

Just something to cripple your sister with...
edit on 18-12-2010 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 02:13 PM
Merry Christmas to all! Let's hope for a more positive way forward for planet earth and its inhabitants during 2011 and beyond.

The future is ours to make X

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 02:49 PM
I'm feeling the warmth of the Holiday season shining through!

*err... or maybe I'm just feeling the warmth of my coffee...

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 05:44 PM
reply to post by Misoir

Merry Christmas to you too.

reply to post by Skippy1138

Thank you.

And a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too.

reply to post by SLAYER69

If eggnog spewing out your nose is your holiday tradition.

reply to post by TheWatcher11

We need more positivity and less negativity.

The world is unbalanced.

And we can affect it.

reply to post by LadySkadi

Watch out for the mistletoe.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 05:44 PM
Eggnog and it's not even 48 hours till Xmas

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 05:47 PM
You captured the atmosphere flawlessly...

This might be my new favorite poem on ATS.
It fits perfectly.

'nuf said.

This picture accurately represents some...

edit on 18-12-2010 by havok because: added a picture.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 05:54 PM
reply to post by SLAYER69

I have not had any eggnog this season yet.

I should have added that as part of the story.

Nex time I will consider it and write it in as a part of the conspiracy.

reply to post by havok

Thank you.

A Holiday Song From The NWO, Illuminati, and The Mason's

I wrote another one a few years back.

This one is by far much better though.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 06:15 PM

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas
reply to post by SLAYER69

I have not had any eggnog this season yet.
Nex time I will consider it and write it in as a part of the conspiracy.

Well not having any yet is a conspiracy.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 06:21 PM
I think you might have just blown out all the circuits on those web bot thing's!!! Great job & Merry Christmas to you.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 06:25 PM
reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

Brilliant ... it's officially 25mins into my birthday here (00:25am GMT) and yours was my first laugh of the year for me.

Thank-you Woody

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 06:53 PM
reply to post by SLAYER69

You have to have money to purchase eggnog.

It has been two years without purchasing anything for Christmas for family and friends.

Eggnog is on the low end of my totem pole of things I care about this Christmas.

My new job is priority until I hoard some cash to stimulate my economy since Obama is ignoring America.

reply to post by jaynkeel

Let us hope the entire information databases centers crash this Christmas.

Stimulate the economy, put people to work, and lose all that valuable data corporations are selling.

A win from all angles as far as I see.

reply to post by woodwytch

You are most welcome.

A very Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to you.

Glad you got a laugh.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 06:58 PM
Totally Awesome! Happy Holidays!

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 07:06 PM
One word.... Epic

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