Hello, I'm Conrad,
I live in a small town, just two miles from Newport, Rhode Island and I'm God.
I first realised my omnipotence three weeks ago, it was a Wednesday and it was the day I did my first miracle. It seems a lifetime away now, what with
the decision to solve the Earth's problems and the like.
The clock under the George Washington portrait says it's 4.45 pm, I'll have to be quick or I'll miss a programme on the TV that I want to watch.
So let's begin, huh?
My cousin Penny, she's the one with the black hair and the pony-tail that reaches all the way down to her butt -was staying at our house. We had been
playing with her soccer ball in the back-field, she's going to be a good soccer player someday, she's fourteen now. Me...? I'm thirteen and a three
quarters and I wish I could play like her.
I used the word omnipotence earlier, I only just found out what that means, Dr. Wallace explained it to me.
I speak to you from the Oval Office of The White House. The Chief of Staff is watching me as he sits in one of the chairs, clutching his chest...
bless him, he's afraid.
The rings of fire that encircle me, make me think of the 4th of July fireworks that my pa sets off in our back yard, every year... I guess it's the
I know you're wondering how I could have managed to get in here, well, this where I wanted to be, so, I'm here.The FBI and The Secret Service are
here, so is Dr. Wallace of course and my mum. I understand The President is on his way and I'm looking forward to seeing him, I've only ever seen
him on T.V.
My first miracle saved Penny during a soccer game and that's where it all went a little haywire.
She had been trying to score pass me, she had dribbled (that's what the Brits call it)the ball into the area that we had marked out as the goal mouth
and set up her shot. I managed to close down the space between her and the goal area, she clipped the ball and I punched it away. It bounced off into
the direction of the road.
Penny had gone to retrieve it and got hit by a truck from the Glenn and Bennett Bauxite quarry.
I remember watching her pony-tail bouncing about her shoulders and the way she was giggling at my reaction to saving the shot (I was punching my arms
in the air and remembering Brad Friedel)
Then as I regained my composure, in case she fired a long ball from the road.
The eighteen-wheeler sped around the corner and knocked her right out of her trainers.
Penny landed twelve feet away in the tall grass near Cole's pond. The world stood still and knowing what I know now, I believe it actually did. The
truck skidded to a halt, dust pluming into the cool afternoon air, and the man got out of the cab.
He had bibs on and a bright red bandanna around his sun-burnt neck. He was fat and his name was Chase.
He ran to where Penny laid, her legs didn't look right and her head seemed to bulge strangely at the side.
I threw my gloves towards the bag that was doubling as a goal post and ran towards the place where Penny had landed. I was hoping she was dazed or
something. That's when I noticed the blood coming from her ears.
Dr. Wallace has just asked me to wait for the priest to come, I understand that my mother has asked for him. His name is Father Mantell. He's a bald,
fifty year old, Boston-Irish man, I have not met him yet, but I already know all about him.
Penny was dead, the driver of the truck had laid his beefy hand on my shoulder and told me not to go over to her. "Stay here son" he'd said,
"I'll C.B for the police". With that, he'd jumped into his truck and drove away, leaving me stood there like a jerk.
I quickly made Penny better, I fixed her legs first, (I made her faster too), then the bulge on her head and finally switched her life back on.
I say I switched her life on... because that's what it's like, It feel like a click sounds off in my head.
I waited for Penny to wake up, it was nice standing in the field near Coles pond, listening to the wildlife get ready for the evening. I decided to
get her shoes and put them on her before she awoke.
I trotted back to the road, checking there was no trucks coming, and picked up her Nike's. As I slipped her shoes on, it dawned on me that the man
had tricked me, well... me and Penny.
I am a kind person, I've helped people most of the time, It was me who found Mrs. Bridge's cat, although I always knew it would get lost, that I'd
find it and how she would thank me. It was me who stopped my dad getting laid off, by improving the business of the company that he worked for.
My dad explained to me that unless people start believing in buying self-built bunkers, then he'd be out of a job.
I agree now, that the way I did it was a little naive using a Middle Eastern war to help my dad's firm out, but my mum is happy, and pa takes me
fishing every weekend, and that, I feel is worth it.
Excuse me a moment... Dr. Wallace is bringing Father Mantell over to see me.
Father Mantell will die of a heart condition in 2012, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way it is.
I know, your saying these are your rules, so change them, but it doesn't and never has worked when you start picking who goes and who stays.
Ah!, you say, what about Penny, Well, she's related to me so that's different.
Father Mantell is asking me why I want to do this. I tell him I have to stop the silly games that the grown-ups are doing... we can't go on like
this... (I'm talking to you, the reader now!)... the world is almost falling apart.
He asks me about how my parents will feel, I reply they'll be happy when I've solved this problem in the world. Father Mantell asks me has a fellow
human being, not to do this.
Oh sorry, I must finish up my story about Penny and me.
Penny awoke and I helped her to her feet, we played soccer for another hour and then we went in for supper. The man in the red bandanna crashed into a
burger joint called Happy Potsy's, in Tucson, Arizona a month later, the burger joint was being robbed and only Chase and the robbers were killed....
there, see, I'm benevolent... I learned that word last year in Ms. Taunton's English class.
Now I can tell you what I'm doing here in The White House.
I have decide to call the leaders of all the countries of the world here, and tell them what to do.
I have listened to the T.V and the radio, and I realise that the world isn't being ran right.
I usually watch 'Sixty Minutes' with my dad in the evening, and the man on the T.V keeps telling us that there are more wars, starvation and misery
in the world than ever before.
Children, who I put here to give fresh ideas, (and of course to keep mankind going!) are being destroyed by the evils of their elders.
The environment is nearly gone, at least, the one I put here. I know your thinking that I can fix everything with a wave of my hand, but I am still
learning, and I've given every chance for the world to fix it's self and I'm still willing to let you people solve it.
However, the powers that be, seem to have lost their way, and I feel it's time to get them back in line... to lead from the front, if you will.
I'm moving about the Oval Office because the laser lights from the snipers guns keep alighting on my chest, it's also fun to dodge out of the way
and watch them search for you. The guns will not fire of course, they can't, and I believe the black-grabed sniper men wouldn't want to shoot me
Dr. Wallace has just put his head around the door and told me that they've arranged for the leaders of the world to come. He's lying of course, and
I think, in a few minutes, he may try to 'talk me down' again.
I've decided that I will tell the world powers to get their acts together, I've decided on six months.
Six months will be enough time to eradicate poverty, conflict, racism, sexism, child persecution, drugs, crime, and the filth on the internet.
My dad and I were wanting to play on the Cartoon Network web site and we had typed the name wrong on the search engine. The horrible sites that popped
up shocked me, and my dad was furious that it is that easy to find this stuff. He was very unhappy about that, so I'm gonna to sort that out for
Excuse me one moment, I have just brought all the leaders of the world into the Oval Office, by the way, don't read into the idea why I picked the
Oval Office, it was just easier for me to get here.
They looked quite shocked and are gazing around, they seem lost. Okay.
I am surprised to see only ten people here, These people must be the REAL people who run the world.
I recognise some of them... Hee, look, there's the President. He seems smaller on T.V. You must excuse me again, I'm going to tell them what to do,
I won't be long, See you in a bit.
Well, that went well, they seemed a bit lost without pens and paper in front of them, but, I laid out my plans, Mr. President shouted at me, I solved
that... it wasn't very nice to watch.
The rest seemed to understand, as I showed the way forward to them, I showed (I did a thing in the air, it's not important) that the world could be a
better place, I even adjusted my plan to two years. You see? as Penny would say "how de' yer like them apples?"
They argued the point that I was holding the world under threat of extinction. Sheesh!... I was tempted there and then, to switch the lights off on
all of this. I rose above it, That's what Ms. Taunton, would have wanted me to do.
I told them that if they get this part right, then, they wouldn't hear from me again. I also told them that they would forget all about me, (I enjoy
school and I would like to continue my education).
They swore to succeed.
I asked why there were only ten of them, they looked at each other and smiled smugly back at me. I must explain about being God, one of the tricks is
to take no crap from anyone, so I...
I, er... ... I, I want to... The Presi...
Dr. Wallace is explaining about the benefits of my medication, I tell him to loosen the restraints, and I'll take my medication willingly. The burly
black guy behind me opens my mouth with his strong sweaty hands. I'll be asleep in two minutes, but I'm wondering how this story pans out.
The lights are too bright in this place.