Here is my dilemma. I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend (I have never had any sort of intimate relationship in fact). All my friends are guys and that's beginning to scare me a little. This is who I am:

1. I am far from good looking.
2. I CAN be very shy.
3. I don't give the best first impression.
4. I'm sort of the black sheep of any group.
5. I am a nice person, but nobody really cares about that, nor does anyone recognize it or value it.
6. Not many redeeming qualities that would make other girls want to be friends with me.
7. My self-confidence in this area is very low.

So, how does someone like me get a girl?

Lots and Lots of money.....

jk

Find a girl that likes you for you...thats basically all i can say.

Firstly, don't do yourself down.
I don't make a very good first impression either, because I'm quite shy and because of that people think me stuck up (until they get to know me).
What makes me like a person is whether or not they can make me laugh, and I know many girls who think the same. In fact I can safely say that I don't know anyone who really likes the bodybuilder type with more testosterone than braincells. Making a girl laugh puts her at ease with you and helps the flow of the conversation. The very fact that you are a member of ATS shows that you think for yourself and are intelligent enough to hold decent conversations. Plus, just because you dont consider yourself attractive doesn't mean others think the same. So go for it - you'll surprise yourself

Ahhh yes....laughter...the ability to make a girl piss her pants or squirt milk out her nose from laughing so much, almost 100% wins out over the good looking pricks. Gotta have confidence in yourself or your never gonna get one. Soembody suggested in another thread to take Martial Arts to gain confidence....good idea . Then if you ask her out and she says no...you can kick her ass....jk

Since your the black sheep...why not find another black sheep??

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You're young yet. Be patient with time and give yourself the chance to come into your own a little. Gain some seasoning and confidence by doing the best you can and basically being yourself. True to yourself and your beliefs. Love the things in this life that you love with passion. Eat life. Learn to be happy over the little things. All these traits are attractive in themselves and when you learn to do that, they all combine to make one attractive person.

Look around you. It isn't just the rich and the cosmetically "perfect" (societies idea of what beautiful is) who meet their soulmates and fall in love for life. This is where the gross inequities of the world take a powder. EVERYBODY falls in love. People of all shapes and sizes and colours. For once life is fair.

It will happen for you too.

Lastly, be a MAN. Not a guy. The world is FULL of "guys" (yes, I stole that line from the movie "Say Anything", because it fits in this instance)

Best of luck to you

Originally posted by dreamlandmafia
Ahhh yes....laughter...the ability to make a girl piss her pants or squirt milk out her nose from laughing so much, almost 100% wins out over the good looking pricks. Gotta have confidence in yourself or your never gonna get one. Soembody suggested in another thread to take Martial Arts to gain confidence....good idea . Then if you ask her out and she says no...you can kick her ass....

That is the funniest thing I've read in a while......NO?????? *boot -biff-slamo*

Originally posted by sweatmonicaIdo
Here is my dilemma. I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend (I have never had any sort of intimate relationship in fact). All my friends are guys and that's beginning to scare me a little.

ouch.....
well like others said, it's alright. try not to expect your partner to come, usually love comes in the most unsuspected ways

Originally posted by sweatmonicaIdo
Here is my dilemma. I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend (I have never had any sort of intimate relationship in fact).

I went to an all male grammar school. Except for when I was 6 years old, I had no real girlfriend until I was 19. I had friends who were female obviously but I didn't meet my first true girlfriend until then. So you're not alone.

The Pisky's opinion is this : Be yourself. Be unique. Actually, you're already on the way, seeing as you say you're the 'black sheep'. Make the girl you like laugh (as Ravenna said) and be true to your own beliefs (as my cute wife KayEm says).

And don't rush. You'll find someone, just don't push it.

[Edited on 5-7-2004 by Pisky]

I'll show you how to do it for a cool 50 bucks.

Promise to show you all my own personal moves and extra because your paying.

Seriously though, dont worry about it. You'll do worse if you worry. Just let things play out like they should, and well your 18 so if things dont pick up you can always go to Nevad and pay some more and get laid.

The key to success is: you gotta have confidence in your-self.

You won't get anything if you don't have that, or if you get something, you won't be able to keep it for as long as you would have wanted to.

So try to accomplish that first. Whatever it takes, I found out working out helped me gain a little more confidence. But it could be anything, and it can be different from one person to another. Simply being good at something can be really motivating and help self confidence. (like I started playing basketball a while ago, and I've become way better than I was, and that's motivating).

So work on that. Once you get that, you'll get everything you want after, it will simply be a matter of reaching and grabbing it. (ok, I make it sound easier than it really is, but that's the point, the thoughest part can be to gain enough self confidence to be able to be who you want to be)

To quote my good friend Jonna "Do you know who it is you need to be?"

Good luck on your quest, grasshoppa (j/k).

I dunno. I mean, I am very proficient in martial arts (Tae Kwon Do and Kendo), I work out every day in a serious manner (meaning I do it for good health), but it really hasn't given me confidence. Again, it's probably because I don't do it for confidence.

I guess I'll have to wait and see. Even if it doesn't work out, I won't be disappointed.

See, it's why I said it's different from everyone. I used to do little or no exercise/work out at all, so when I started exercising seriously, I felt like I did a huge improvement over my self. So I felt really good about it, and it did gave me a little more confidence. I didn't do it all, ONLY to get more confidence. I did it to be better within my self.

You just have to become a better person in your own mind, and to learn to love your self. When you become beautifull in the inside, it makes you appear beautifull on the outside too. Personnality defines the charm of a person, not only his outside look. Keep that in mind.

Do anything that can make you value your self more, in your own eyes. That, in the end, shall help you work on your shyness. You have to realise you have no reason to be shy. You are just like everyone else, on the same level, and you shouldn't care what people think about you anyway. Maybe we only have one life to live, so to hell with it...

You will never get with Monica by alluding to her perspiration in your screen-name!

Don't be wishy-washy, women like strong men. Many of the other suggestions here are spot-on! Try being a friend first. Don't you work? The work-place is a great environment to meet and befriend members of the opposite sex. I'm not saying to hit-on every girl/woman you work with as this will probably be counterproductive. First try treating the women you meet as you would your mates. Be inclusive, be friendly, be yourself.

Originally posted by m0rbid
The key to success is: you gotta have confidence in your-self.

Morbid said it best.

You NEED confidence in yourself. Girls are attracted to guys who are confident in themselves and know what they want. Also laughter, make her laugh. Most girls just want a guy to treat them great, be there for them, and make them laugh. So work on your confidence a little.

Yeah. If you aren't confident with your-self (yet), at least make it appear like you are. Also, try to not look like "all-over" the girl you want.

Lots of girls like independant guy. Lots of them are also turned on by guy who appear to don't give a f*ck about them. Sometime ignoring them or acting like they don't have any effect on you is the key to getting them interested in you. (not always - depends on the girl)

Some girls might even be turned off if they know you are "crazy 'bout them", but don't quite feel the same way about you (at the moment).

[Edited on 5-7-2004 by m0rbid]

Originally posted by dreamlandmafia
Since your the black sheep...why not find another black sheep??

This is key.

Dude, if Billy Bob Thorton married Angelina Jolie there's hope for all of us.

Just ask every girl you come in contact with, remember for every girl that turns you down theres another one that might not. Go to a shoe store.

Originally posted by scottsquared
You will never get with Monica by alluding to her perspiration in your screen-name!

Actually, the whole Monica deal is a done deal long ago.

Originally posted by Vegemite
Just ask every girl you come in contact with, remember for every girl that turns you down theres another one that might not. Go to a shoe store.

I should've gotten my driver's license when I had the chance. I could be at a shoe store right now!

Yes, as a female, I will tell you that confidence is very important. Get that, and all else will follow.