Happy Opportunistic Present-Opening Day! May the high-jacking of my religious holiday to your own ends jingle your bells!
or
Merry Not-Christmas! You put the NO in NOEL!
or
Season's Greetings! Treasure those precious moments with your beautiful family, gathered joyously by the crackling fire, 'cause you get to spend
eternity in it!
Just being silly... don't take me seriously here!!!