A strange dream - I was about to get robbed

Well, I don't have the time now to go into details, but generally there's a girl in a group (e.g. in a course group I am part of) that behaves in a bitchy way towards me and trying to humiliate me. As we are all around 20-22, I don't find this behavior appropriate. I also don't like the fact that I don't have any friends here at university. Everyone seem to ignore me for no apparent reason. It was not like that in high school. They say I don't talk enough, but when I try to say something they have this look on their faces that goes like 'Urgh, why are you talking?!'.

Perhaps it represents a conflict in your life between the safety of the family and the desire to get out and explore and be your own person.

You say you've been on your own a while (not to mention lonely). So I'm sure you have been exposed to a wider range of culture than you were exposed to as a kid.

This stuff is trying to "bust down the door" of your fortress. And this bothers you and scares you. Your fear of it is probably one of the factors in your loneliness.

Perhaps next time this dream happens, you should let them in. See what happens?

Of course I could be completely wrong as I don't know anything about you.

you try and be nice to them? apparently this isn't what they want. apparently they want to practice being assholes in life. let them practice. a lot of people that age are that way. they discover things like sarcasm and having to be tolerant to abrasiveness and feel they must play these concepts like they are going out of style... like al of the sudden they have unlocked some secret wisdom about how to behave in society. they watch too much #ing tv and think they have figured out what "cool" is. do you need to fit in with these assholes? if so, why? I wouldn't even study them if they are being pricks. do you want that rubbing off on you? I sure as hell don't. I've got enough of my own stuff to sort out and try to keep positive.

you need a new scene. you need to go into to autopilot when you see these assholes and when you don't have to be there, look for better company. If you don't find it, look again. If you don't find it again, keep looking. Your odds can't be that bad... they may be slim... that's just how luck and chance goes concerning things we can't control but if you keep your chin up and beat the odds- then you will have come a long way. When you DO find friends, they will be better friends than what superficial assholes have, right?... because your standards on what you put time and effort into will be higher. I'm not saying be mean to these people but just don't give them your energy. when you are near them, literally keep your energy to yourself... act like they aren't even there until one approaches you for something and when they do, show them what being civil is. Don't rub their face in it, don't complain to them about anything... just let it roll off of you like you have a nice coat rainex and their stupid BS is the storm. it will pass. don't let it hurt you. when you feel that way just tighten up... but don't go too far.

Sometimes when i see people doing dumb # and being fvcktards i get pissed. I start dishing out the evil looks and have been known to growl at a person or two but I have been putting up with idiots for a long time. Don't ask me why... it's a long story and I'm through with that. My temper is a way of focusing when something confuses me or pisses me off. I'm not saying it's good but if you keep abusing you own self by trying to be friends with assholes, this might be what you wind up with... you keep going till one day you've had enough and when something gets to you, you might hyperfocus and you might do so in anger. yes, i have become somewhat anti-social to most people but i do have good friends and I do have a chance now to let my mind relax and reflect on all these things and sort them out, rather than jumping right back into the bull#. I have a short fused but i am not thoroughly messed up through and through like some people. Some people are like way up into their years, STILL trying to sort the bull# in their mind out. It's not good to isolate yourself but it's also not good to try to keep fighting with random idiots because they make you feel like you don't fit. It's pointless. use your efforts for something else. Find where you DO fit, don't dwell on where you don't. Be kind when they approach you and then leave them for what they are and turn and walk away and don't think twice about it. You get what you want (to not have to put up with assholes) they get what they want (to be assholes) and it all works out. Don't keep reliving it in your mind, don't keep pushing rewind and reply... get yourself some new media if this is damaging to you and use your grace to deal with whatever when you have to.

not to derail but i have been having dreams with underlying concepts of entering and permissions and things like that... hearing knocking and things of the like during weird conversations. I don't want to go into too many details because a lot of it is buried in other random things... like my dreams are clouded over by other concepts.
I could relate it to things but it might be wrong. the dreams themselves change nothing about how i feel about things and how i need to proceed in life but I'm wondering if there is some underlying meaning. something that needs to tae place before other things happen, but i have no idea what the hell it is that i'm supposed to do to assist that.

i don't know.. it just keeps coming up again and again it seems.

When someone has no friends and a girlfriend killing oneself is the only way out, I guess.
Not that I'm gonna do it tomorrow, but if things don't change that will be my only option.

Originally posted by imnessie
When someone has no friends and a girlfriend killing oneself is the only way out, I guess.
Not that I'm gonna do it tomorrow, but if things don't change that will be my only option.

I'm sort of confused by this statement...you are saying you have no friends and no girlfriend... or that you have a girlfriend and she is part of the problem?

What happened? Did something just happen to upset you?

reply to post by ChaosMagician

I am saying I have no friends and no girlfriend. That's enough to upset me. I need close relations with people to thrive. Relations with relatives are just not enough for me to feel satisfied with my life. Last time I had a friend was in early 2007. Since then I've only has some short-lived virtual friendships on the web.

Originally posted by imnessie
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

I am saying I have no friends and no girlfriend. That's enough to upset me. I need close relations with people to thrive. Relations with relatives are just not enough for me to feel satisfied with my life. Last time I had a friend was in early 2007. Since then I've only has some short-lived virtual friendships on the web.

You will find a friend but not if you don't hold yourself together. You will upset those who care about you. I have gone years without a meaningful relationship. You have to find a way to hold yourself together... even if it means literally wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket and holding yourself together as you break down inside. You should give yourself more of a chance than this. If you can't you should consider that something is compiling your negative feelings. Are you eating right? I'm very serious. Very VERY serious. You might have no idea how a slight deficiency on some important b vitamins can make you feel like hell... deeply depressed. Surely you can put up more of a fight than this.

reply to post by imnessie


You just have to find your voice. Take a course in public speaking, NLP (neurolinguistic programming). You deserve better and it's not ALL their fault, since the power of communication is to elicit a response and a reaction. You are doing something on your end to produce this effect, just an insecurity, nothing major, don't worry it will get better, and you still have friends and family who love you. Access whatever resources you can muster, so that this doesn't end up defining you or your life. All are lovable, and you most of all! Because of your meekness, you are beautiful, but try not to judge them ALL either, that's not fair. We all have our issues, difficulties, challenges, insensitivities, and insecurities. Talk to them from your heart, which makes your voice resonate, then they'll start to take you more seriously. And 80% of communication is also non verbal, in person. Would YOU want to talk to you? (don't take that wrong I'm just trying to he helpful).

look on the bright side. My roommate smells like a great big nasty foot wearing the same sock for the past five years straight. He's not allowed to come into my part of the house right now because he procrastinates bathing because he is crippled... now it's cold outside... another excuse. Now his stinky ass is going to wait till tomorrow because it's night and in the the daytime it will be warmer. You think he's depressed even though he smells like a turd coated gym sneaker and everybody else gets to smell it as well? Hell no... he's happy as #.

yuk!

Surely you don't smell like giant gnarly rotting toe. Things could always be worse.

I'm kinda pissed off about this oder thing if no one can tell. I know I'm being rude but this # is uncalled for. this is ongoing... it's not just every once in awhile... it's like this constantly.

reply to post by ChaosMagician

I've already started destroying myself: no exercise, eating junk food all the time, I've also had many nights of no sleep. Well, on a more positive note I don't drink or smoke.

Originally posted by imnessie
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

I've already started destroying myself: no exercise, eating junk food all the time, I've also had many nights of no sleep. Well, on a more positive note I don't drink or smoke.

get you some multivitamins and maybe some bee pollen and noni juice if you can afford it (I don't even know why I'm saying that... NO ONE can afford it...don't pay for it, grow it or something)...get some herbal tea to try to move some of the junk out of your system and eat good food. Take extra b-12 and vitamin C and D... but not too much D. You might be surprised. Sometimes something can be slightly off kilter in our systems and make it harder for us to handle stresses and challenging emotions. maybe if you start feeling better after doing that you can start a work out routine. Exercise is very good at improving the way people feel.

My roommate never gets depressed...maybe that's because he gets plenty of b-12, but that's because it probably grows on him like a freaking petri dish.