I hate not being able to be a nasty person i know that sounds stupid but i really hate being nice all the time but then i just think " if i dont help
this person i will like crap" yknow sometimes you just wana say sorry i cant help but inside you know you have to or it just wont feel right
I hate not being able to lose my temper with anyone even people i hate
A lot of things have probably changed between you writing this and me replying. I shouldn't revive these old threads, I suppose, but they are
sometimes very interesting.
My problem is pretty much the opposite of yours.. I can't control my temper whatsoever. I can control my behaviour though, but I can't control
whether I will get angry at someone's stupidity or not. About 99% of the time, I will.
You don't hate not being able to be nasty - you just hate not having a spine and not being able to tell the truth regardless of what's socially
popular, expected of you, "politically correct", publicly accepted, and people's opinions and "being offended" etc.
I do not have that problem, but again, quite the opposite - sometimes I wonder, whether I should be writing so much about things I know will make
people angry (although I only tell the truth). But it just shows how much variance there is in humanity, and how both of us have to carry our
individual crosses.. I don't even know if either of us would -really- enjoy switching our situations. I would hate nothing more than to be a
spineless wimp, but at least I would know I would be "safe". This way I can look at myself in the mirror and sleep at night, but I have to be a
little bit afraid for possible consequences of all the things I have written and said over the years.
I mean, there are a lot of violent nuts out there, who love shooting the messengers..
The difference between us, I guess, is that I don't really hate those things about myself - I just wish I had a little bit more control over them. I
mean, just because someone says something incredibly stupid, doesn't mean my emotions have to get involved, does it? Yet they often do anyway.
And just because I am feeling angry or frustrated about someone's incredible stupidity, doesn't mean that I absolutely have to write them, respond
to them or even react to their stupidity in anyway, does it? And yet I find many times myself doing it anyway.
Sometimes I can look the other way and just forget about it, divert my attention and go do something else.. but sometimes this does not work,
especially if the stupidity/unexpected behaviour comes from a 'friendly source' (or previously thought to be a 'friendly source').. and usually,
the more I try to make things right again, the worse I end up making the situation, and the angrier the people get at me.
But such is life, such is my Karma.. so, damn those idiots, full typing speed ahead!