TSA? Gesundheit!!!

Hello there! Boo another TSA thread. I know, I know.

But anyway this one is a bit tongue in cheek, I think you know where I'm going with it. Particularly directed at the Americans of ATS.

Got to fly this Christmas? Got to fly anytime come to that?

Well when you avoid the death ray scanner, slowly exploding your DNA with those healthy Terahertz waves, and choose the 'optional' pat down. While you are being gratuitously groped, without so much as dinner before hand, why not let out a nice sneeze? If they have a problem with it, just say you must be allergic to sexual assault or something.

Obviously if you are actually unwell don't sneeze a big wet one and spread diseases around, but a fake one should cause some harmless unease to security personnel!

Mods if this is in the wrong place, do your business... It might be better in off topics or something.

I can think of something even nastier to release when the TSA
freak has his hand on your bottom, but this is a family forum,
so I won't tell you what it is. Sorry.

reply to post by endtimer




Only effective in the strip search though. Otherwise you have one long smelly flight!

Originally posted by endtimer
I can think of something even nastier to release when the TSA
freak has his hand on your bottom, but this is a family forum,
so I won't tell you what it is. Sorry.

That's exactly what I was thinking...lol. Have some Chilli and a couple of beers or beef-barley soup (yikes) an hour before hitting the TSA brothel. That should scare up a pretty nasty and seriously stinky fart. The kind of fart that is so loud and so violent that it literaly shreds your underwear and makes your @sscheeks resonate at some super low frequency. Practice beforehand and get that bowel/sphinkter control going so you can play it like a trumpet...ROFL. Can you image the poor guy/gal grouping around down there when you let go of your own personal biohazard 5, trauma-inducing-olifactory-ICBM that could strip paint off the walls and bring bigger tears to his/her eyes than CS gas in a 90 degree sauna?

I like it !!! And hey, it's healthy to evacuate gas right?

Cheers - Dave



PS: I should also add that it will be very easy to pick off the terrorists because they'll be the ones that are humourless, still standing and trying to appear inconspicuous. I think all the normal folks would be laughing their @sses off and rolling on the floor as I am quite sure the look on the TSA agents face would be priceless!