Ok I was tiring to think of a nifty title for my first post, I tried my best but couldn’t really sum it up in one short statement.
This Post is intended to release my beliefs for the first time ever to someone besides myself and close friends, I would like all you fine
intellectuals of ATS to review my ideas, criticize them, and share your own thoughts.
As a little background on myself, I’m a youngin, in my early twenties, born and raised in the US of A, started out in the concrete jungle of
highways known as Northern Virginia, and eventually made my way west to the middle of the woods, otherwise known as the Shenandoah Valley. I was born
and raised Catholic my early life, I was afraid to bare my middle finger or say vulgar statements due to it would damn me to hell. God made us from
clay, that’s just how it was.
As I grew older I became more aware of my surroundings, my world, everything. I began to question the church, if god made all then who made god? Why
would God make a whole universe, just for us small ants on earth. This is where my views changed, around maybe the age of 5 or 6. I then found my
obsession with space, I dreamt of fling up there, to be able to see all the planets and meet life from other planets. I knew how obscure it would be
for us to be the only one, there was no way in hell there was no bacteria on another celestial body. I eventually gave up the church, threw fits about
it, and eventually was no longer forced to go. My mother eventually left our family leaving just my father, sister, and myself. We all left the
churches for we knew, they were wrong.
I started my life a little rough, after moving to the Shenandoah, I found myself surrounded my close minded, self centered rednecks. These people made
me sick. My sister and I received so much abuse because we were “city slickers,” “one of dem dare city folk” “Dem wierdos with black
shirts.” I grew to hate the people around me, and kept to myself, found an interest in IRC chat rooms and internet forums to save me from these
retards at a young age of maybe 8. Then the summer break from 4th to 5th grade in elementary school, I found a real friend. Her name was Mary Jane,
and yes I mean marihuana. I feel this was a staple in my life, people talk trash on pot all the time, but I feel that it shaped my beliefs and who I
am. When I smoked this stuff I would just think, philosophize you might say. This lead me to internet research on the good olde 28k. Years pasted and
I slowly started piecing together the puzzle.
(Actual Beliefs starts here)
Many years past and I gained much knowledge, I found that most religion was just rehash from ancient astronomy, I began to accept ancient astronaut as
the ultimate belief for life on earth, It makes perfect sense.
I found myself wondering, what happens at death? If there was no heaven or hell, then what did life store? I figured the only thing that made sense
was simple, life was like a battery, when its done its done, your in pure nothingness, there was nothing to feel, no way to remember, it was just
nothing. This upset me, I wished so much for an ultimate afterlife, its all I dreamed for, but I found this revelation that the #ty life I was given
was my only life, it was all I’d ever feel, so I might as well make the best of it.
This wasn’t enough; I needed to find out more, there was still too many unanswered questions. One of the most important was what started this
universe? I began to look into quantum. From all my research I came to believe, the universe was filled with parallels, and every possibility has its
own universe. If I turned left at a T intersection, somewhere in another dimension, or somewhere else in the universe, I turned right. It was hard to
swallow, but it makes sense.
I then discovered the first part of my theory, if you can bare with me here. If every possibility exists somewhere in the universe, or in another
universe, there has to be a parallel to everything. I found a world that makes sense for everything, I think back to the big bang theory, which states
in the beginning there was nothing, then primordial matter exploded and bam everything came. So lets back up, in the beginning there was nothing. You
know what that means? Somewhere, there was EVERYTHING. This made so much sense to me. EVERYTHING made sense. That’s why we are here, because we are
the opposite of not being here, that’s why the planets are here, because it’s the opposite of not being here. This blew my mind in so many ways,
and changed my ideas on life.
I thought back to my theory that life was like a battery. When you die there is nothing, it just cuts off. But in my world where nothing exists as
everything, then there isn’t a nothing. There is no Nothingness. There is no possible way my brain could comprehend nothingness, because well, it
doesn’t exist, there is no such thing. So there is no way for life to be a battery, there is no way to understand nothing, only everything.
This wasn’t the send though, I needed more. What was this everything I would experience when I die?
I always thought the thought of souls was BS. There is no such thing as a soul, we know what’s in a body, where is the soul? More importantly, what
is my self conscience? Who is talking in my head? Who is thinking all of these thoughts? It was the next question to be tackled. I began to think, the
drug '___' was the soul. You release it when you die, and become a few grams lighter, maybe the lightness is the dmt leaving, your soul leaving, but
this just didn’t cut it.
After many years I finally decided on this, I can’t quite go into detail how I came to believe this in order so I will just some it up….
I now believe in a soul like essence. How many souls are there and who has them? This is a question I cannot answer yet. Perhaps every living thing
has a soul, perhaps there is a handful, perhaps there are trillions, maybe I am the only soul, this is still a question I cannot answer. I believe
though, that there are trillions+. The soul is our true self. It holds all our knowledge. Throughout our lives our souls are constantly learning. We
learn from everyday life, and pack it away in our soul.
Our soul is attached to a vessel, being our human bodies. We attached to the vessel at birth, perhaps before, when we were but small sperms.
The vessel is our physical appearance. It can range from a fly, to a human, to a dog, to an alien, the possibilities are endless. The Vessels are all
over the universe, perhaps the Vessel won’t work without a soul. Maybe there are Vessels that act like an NPC in a game, looks and acts like another
soul is attached, but its just its basic programming, a soulless body.
When we attach our soul to the vessel, we loose all of our knowledge, perhaps because our Vessel cannot handle it, its just too much, or maybe its
just a side effect from attaching, like a summoning sickness.
Death and Rebirth:
When we die I feel our Soul Detaches from our body. We become our true self, the all knowing everything. We will remember all the knowledge we gained
from previous vessels, then we are left afloat in space, able to do anything, and everything. We will become all knowing, what blows our minds now
will make perfect sense.
While in this state we can choose. Do we want to stay afloat, or attach again? This is the most important part. I feel like we have a choice. Using
all the knowledge we have, we pick what Vessel we want. We know which would be thr right choice, no matter what.
I could choose to attach to a fetus of a woman who plans for an abortion. Not because I want to die, just because the way it will affect everyone and
every soul associated with that person. I would come into the world, knowing I would be aborted and chopped up and sold for research. But the reason
is the way it would affect the parents, the family, people around them. I made the choice to do so for a reason, because of my collected knowledge.
I feel time does not exist in this world, there is no time, you pick from any time and any place, not being just restricted to humans and earth, 2000
BC to 5000000 AD.
This is the best way I can sum it up for you people. When at first I came to hate my life and existence, I feel now, that I chose this for a reason.
Not just for me, but every soul around me. Perhaps I wanted to meet a soul I had met before, maybe if I didn’t attach, something would happen to
someone else in the world who’s soul needed to exist. Its endless.
I want to hope, eventually you gather enough knowledge you can acceded to a new plan, beyond everything, beyond the all knowing soul you are, but I
could never explain this, and its just a hope.