Please help me out of this

This is my first thread here on ATS. And Im making the thread now, because of my dying grandmother.

And I dont know if there is a age limit to this site but Im only 15 years old, and I dont want to see her die.
But my mom wants me to be in the same room as her when she dies.

Please, what shall I do? I dont want to experiance someone dying at only 15 years... My brain is only 15 years old!

And I also made this thread because we are leaving in 1 hour , and Its a 6hour drive to that place where she is. Some advice would be helpful.
I dont think its internet there.

i can understand your fear..

well i loved my granny so i had no problem with beeing in the same room when she passed away..but i can understand you dont like it..

think about it..maybe some day you will sad about it...

reply to post by angrydog


*edit* Great-granny

just tell your mom you dont want to...seriously.

but make sure your really DONT want to

You shouldn't be pressured to see your grandmother die. Tell your mother you don't want to have that picture in your head for the rest of your life; that you want to remember her alive and happy. Be calm and reasonable when you speak to her and try not to become combative. A lot of people don't understand this- I had a lot of flack because I refused to go to my grandfathers' wake...I didn't want to go and look at him dead, rather preferred to keep my image of him smiling and full of life.

If you feel you can't speak to her directly about it, maybe you can speak to someone else you trust who, in turn, can speak for you.

Well . Thanks guys, but the thing is...I dont really know her.
My mom and my aunts and uncles know her very well...But not me.

Okey , thanks for your help. We're leaving now. Cant wait for the 6 hour-drive....

reply to post by Fretz


You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, kid. Remember that.

Think about it. Think about what it will mean to your mother and her sisters. It may mean more to your mother if her mother is supported with the whole family before she goes. If you decide it means a lot to your mother, then you may want to think about just doing it for her.

Originally posted by anonymousanonymous
reply to post by Fretz

 

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, kid. Remember that.

Think about it. Think about what it will mean to your mother and her sisters. It may mean more to your mother if her mother is supported with the whole family before she goes. If you decide it means a lot to your mother, then you may want to think about just doing it for her.

How about "steeling" yourself just a little and doing it for"granny: a fellow human being even if not a close friend or a deep relationship ,if you're "scared" :put yourself in her shoes think she might like to see a smiling face? We all die eventually.

reply to post by 46ACE


Well, you're right in some respects. If she's still awake and aware of everything, then yes- it would be right to go see her. Then again- the guy said he didn't know her well.

I (mistakenly maybe) presumed she was in a coma state before dying, as was the case with my grand-dad, mother and grandmother. In that case- then I will say my post stands true.

okey guys

I just came home. She passed away Monday at 9pm
I didnt see her awake. She wouldnt remember me anyways , because she had serious alzheimer. But I went to see her after she passed away, and she looked like she was in peace after all the pain.

Peace all

reply to post by Fretz

May she rest in peace
Good job:

peace to you too bra'.

reply to post by Fretz


Just wish her a safe passage.

You are her legacy and owe her as much.

Do you love her?

Where you close to her?

Death is simply a passage from one dimension to another.

One's death experience helps or hinders their next life.............we are all intimately connected.

I have found that when I have held the hand of a person passing and wished them a safe journey, I have felt a peaceful calm - call it karma or whatever but it's a human act of kindness.

This person, is your ancestor, from which you came forth from - honor that legacy.

ps: Speaking as a grandmother, I love my paternal grand daughter with a passion before unknown to me. DNA seems to skip a generation, you may be closer to this person than you realize.

reply to post by Fretz


She looked at peace.

Yes release from this earthly prison is a release.

Godspeed to your beloved Grandmother..........may her soul rest in peace.

reply to post by angrydog


Such a sweet sentiment. I only hope and pray my grand daughter can utter the same sentiment.

Your grandmother was lucky to have such a sweet soul as you for a grandson.

reply to post by 46ACE


Unlike most post, yours was a truely humanitarian one.

Very courageous and kind.

Wish I could give you more than one little star.

This whole thing seems to be your Mom's issue. She thinks it's best for you to be there.

It is truly YOUR decision! Maybe try something like this... "Mom I really wanna be there for you, but I don't want to see great granny die." Maybe mention you;re scared, or even ask your Mom why she thinks it's important. Best thing? Get your Mom to talk about it and listen to you.

*

That out of the way - I wish you the best through this. I'm glad you came forward to say something because it's really not an easy time to talk. Hang in there and feel free to tell us (AT) how you felt or what went down.