@#$%!@#@#$%@!## EX WIFE @#$&^#%@#$

My ex wife has to be the most horrible human being in the world!!!!!

We have recently found out that my oldest daughter has epilipsey.

My ex called my just a little while ago and said well the only time that we can take her to the doctor to get her medicine is July the 7th. Well there would be nothing wrong with this except thats the day we were supposed to leave to go on vacation. We have already paid for the rooms too short of a notice to back out so I am in a pickle.

The worst part is that my ex wife can get an appointment on the 6th but she has to work that day so she choose the 7th in her words.

I have had to rearrange this vacation three times in the past to adjust to her freaking schedule and I and sick and GD tired of this S***. She is just doing this to make my life difficult because of my new wife. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong I know that its horrible that my daughter has epilepsy and that is my first concern but the fact is that she can get the medicine on the 6th but her mother want take her on that day and will not allow me to do it either. The vacation is already a short one and now will be even shorter, we will only have 2 days at the beach now and two days of travel due to the previous restructuring of plans.

:bnghd::bnghd::bnghd::bnghd:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That helped a little

Sorry to hear that she's being that way in response to your new wife. Hopefully everything turns out well with your daughter, though.

Can't she just make life easier on you and let you take your daughter on the 6th?
I don't know what the situation is but I'm sure she'd understand considering you're going on holiday.

The worst part is that my ex wife can get an appointment on the 6th but she has to work that day so she choose the 7th in her words.

Why don't you have her put the appointment for the 6th (if at all possible) and take your daughter yourself. Tell your work that you have car trouble that day or some #.

I think it's far far worse that you daughter has epilepsy. A friend of mine has a sister who has it. He said that she had to stay back a grade and she's very self conscious because she's afraid she'll have an attack. # your vacation, get your daughter to the doctor at all costs, including leisure.

[Edited on 1-7-2004 by ktprktpr]

I assume from this that your daughter lives with your ex wife. In that case, why do you have to go to the doctor at all ?

BlackJackal, you just have to support your daughter in this. If you can, take her to the doctors yourself on the 6th. If not, take a deep breathe, give up the day of your vacation and go on the 7th. Your relationship with your daughter is worth far more than one day of your holiday. Your new wife may not like the situation any more than you do, but I'm sure she will understand you have to be there for your daughter.

Your ex is trying to come between you & your daughter. They both need to know her ploy will not work. Your daughter will soon understand what's going on. Just hope your ex will soon have enough of a life of her own that she won't bother with being hell-bent on distrupting yours.

I wish your daughter well.

See the major issue is that she will not let me take her on the 6th because she says she says that she doesn't want to take off from work. She just will not budge she is doing this to be evil bottom line.

Originally posted by ktprktpr
# your vacation, get your daughter to the doctor at all costs, including leisure.

Dude, watch out what you're saying. Sometimes vacations happen only once or twice a year. I know such illness is a serious thing, but come on. The evil b**tch is doing all this just to piss him off.

I hate when EXes can't move on, or simply live with the fact that you're now happier with out them. I share your pain BJ. Good luck with that, and I hope you still have some nice relaxing vacation.

Where you plan on going?

[Edited on 1-7-2004 by m0rbid]

We are going to Panama City Beach and I have already called the hotel and they will not budge on any of the reservations. I cannot arrive one day late because they will cancel our reservations if I do. I cannot cancel altogether because I am within my 10 day grace period. I cannot add a day or remove a day because all the rooms are booked.

I know that the illness is a serious thing and that is my number 1 concern however, the fact is that my ex is doing this just to ruin our family vacation. The Bit** is doing all this by putting my daughter into the middle of it, using her for leverage.

Originally posted by BlackJackal
I know that the illness is a serious thing and that is my number 1 concern however, the fact is that my ex is doing this just to ruin our family vacation. The Bit** is doing all this by putting my daughter into the middle of it, using her for leverage.

Exactly, been there Jackal. #1 rule dealing with the Ex, give her as little information about your life as possible. If she didn't know you had plans to leave on the 7th, I'll bet the 6th would have been no problem. She will eventually get over this nasty behavior but until then, make it easier on yourself and your new wife, by giving her as little ammo as possible to use against you.

bj that really sucks. Why is it necessary for both of you to go to the doctor's? It's not like your daughter is having surgery or something major on that date, she's only going to the doc's to get medicine right?

if your ex wife can't change the day, then speak to your daughter, tell her you can't make it with her to the doctor's but you want her to keep you up to date, give the child a prepaid cellphone, tell her to call you before, while and after her visit to the doctor's. Staying involved in your daughter's life is very important, but you've already made plans that your ex knew about, so even if she gets pissed, it's her fault for purposedly choosing the 7th and not the 6th. Either way its a tough situation to be in, no matter which option you choose, someone will be mad at you...

i don't mean to sound cold, but your ex can make this doctor's trip without you. I am happily married woman but I can't remember a single doctor's appt for either of my sons, that my husband ever attended with me...except for one that put my son in the hospital for a few days, that was the only time i allowed him to leave work and come because I was scared. What's the use of two of us, rearranging our schedules just to sit in a waiting room. If your daughter know you love her, then she'll understand.. go with the prepaid cellphone and just let your kid call you as much as she wants in her time of need..but again, i don't think she physically need you to go on that date.

No the major problem is that we are supposed to leave to go to Florida on the morning of the 7th. Thus, by the doctors appointment being on that day it leaves me with two options. Leave my daughter and go on vacation with just my wife, step-son and other daughter, or no vacation for no one due to the hotel not budging on dates.

I had to let her know about this in writing by May 15th in accordance with the divorce papers. I had no choice.

whater you do be very careful. You do not want a case built against you as a neglecant parent by having your Ex point out that you went on vacation (whatever the circumstances) instead of taking your daughter to the doctor.

Well a bit of advice. I have an ex-wife AND my daughter has epilepsy. I don't know what doctor you are making an appointment for, but certain neurologists are hard to get in to see, so you do have to work around that.

I would say the sooner, the better and your ex-wife SHOULD take the time from work on the 6th. It's a medical issue. Prolonged seizures (depending on severity and/or frequency) CAN cause cognitive issues. Plain english...brain damage. It will show slightly over time (poor grades, problems concentrating, etc...) but there can be an effect.

Rather than approach with the vacation issue (which causes emotional issue between you two), I would approach with the medical issue (trust me she is a mother and THAT is the weak point, as bad as that SOUNDS). There is evidence to support the claim to take her sooner. Period. THAT is what the Family Medical leave act is all about. If your ex's family needed insulin, would she wait to take them because she had to work? I don't think so. Or, make two appointments 6th & 7th so each of you go to talk to the doctors if needed, but sooner is better than later.

If you EVER go to the hospital ER and say my kid is having seizures you will be in FAST. If she has one there...you will be in and hospitalized in a SECOND. It's no joke. So why would she be so trivial if the hospital is not?

Also, ask the doctors all the questions you need to get comfortable. Plan on spending some serious time researching, understanding, coping. This is something that WILL effect so many other things (depending on your specific situation) so you and your ex should prepare for that.

The best thing anyone ever told me was a co-worker who said:
"It's like being diabetic, you get your medicine, watch what you eat, LIVE A NORMAL LIFE."

It took me a year or so, but I found a profoundness in that statement. Perhaps you will too. It's been 3+ years for me and we still juggle medicine doses and deal with nightime seizures. I don't hope for her to grow out of it anymore, I just hope to find a med that works 100%. She takes 3 meds currently for it and we have had about 6 months of very, very few seizures (prior was one month). They are starting to slowly come back, probably due to growth (meds to body weight), so it is a constant battle. But we have adjusted and live a close to normal life. 50/50 custody with her living in each home 50% of the time. It does take work and communication. In the end, it's about your daughter, not your ex or even you (you know what I am saying).

Anyway, I have done much research into it and my new (soon to be) wife is in the medical industry. If you need any advice or just wish to have an understanding ear...send me a u2u. That goes for anyone with this issue.
Just remember your not alone in this. You can read my blog story from Wed Jan 14, 2004 called "No More Prophets?" which describes a bit of our experience.

blogs.abovetopsecret.com...

Peace,
Zedd

Ok I have had a chance to cool my jets and really think about things. Even though I still think my ex-wife is the most evil person on the face of the planet, it might be best that my daughter sit this trip out.

With her just getting on the medication it is not just a matter of pop a pill its more along the lines of trial and error and there could be complications and she does not need to be away from home and run into some trouble. So we are going to take another trip later this summer for the weekend so she can go to the beach.

Zedd, I appreciate all the advice and my daughter is also six but it seems yours may have it worse. My daughter only has pettie maw seizures but she has a lot of them (around 16 an hour). Again thank you for all the help.

i say just bitch slap her

Originally posted by KrazyIvan
i say just bitch slap her

YEAH ! WOO !!!!!!!
I know your worried about the epilepsy thing dont worry though man. I got doesnt effect day to day living n stuff once its under control

Originally posted by BlackJackal
Zedd, I appreciate all the advice and my daughter is also six but it seems yours may have it worse. My daughter only has pettie maw seizures but she has a lot of them (around 16 an hour). Again thank you for all the help.

Nope, not worse...about the same, but 16 per hour? Go to the hospital my friend. You will be admitted immediately and kept until they are under control. Cat scan is a probability. MRI is too. Both requiring her to be sedated.

My daughter also has Petite mal (aka: complex partial seizure). Trust me, a good doctor will want zero seizures as a goal. The meds work off body weight and time-release in the system. Tegretol (front line standard med) takes about 4-5 days to get working and requires blood draws every few months to check the levels (can damage the kidneys and other organs if too high over time). They will probably hit her with something stronger to stop the seizures for a few days till the tegretol kicks in.

Also, watch her around stairs for awhile, in the tub, at night, etc... The biggest danger is probably falling. While she is on the stronger meds, don't leave her at all. It's like having a drunk 6 year-old. No kidding.

Whatever you do, dont put down your ex wife in front of your daughter. I used to hate when my dad did that when I was a kid. Its really stressful when your a lil kid in the middle of your parents fighting.

She has already had the MRI and that is how we know she is having 16 an hour (she had 8 while in the MRI for 30 min). The doctors visit is to get the medication and to evaluate her.

She still does not know that anything is wrong with her, she does not even remember teh seizures, just kinda blanks out for a while and then comes back to.

As far as putting down the ex in front of the kids thats a no no. As far as my kids know their mother and I are best friends.