Well a bit of advice. I have an ex-wife AND my daughter has epilepsy. I don't know what doctor you are making an appointment for, but certain
neurologists are hard to get in to see, so you do have to work around that.
I would say the sooner, the better and your ex-wife SHOULD take the time from work on the 6th. It's a medical issue. Prolonged seizures (depending on
severity and/or frequency) CAN cause cognitive issues. Plain english...brain damage. It will show slightly over time (poor grades, problems
concentrating, etc...) but there can be an effect.
Rather than approach with the vacation issue (which causes emotional issue between you two), I would approach with the medical issue (trust me she is
a mother and THAT is the weak point, as bad as that SOUNDS). There is evidence to support the claim to take her sooner. Period. THAT is what the
Family Medical leave act is all about. If your ex's family needed insulin, would she wait to take them because she had to work? I don't think so.
Or, make two appointments 6th & 7th so each of you go to talk to the doctors if needed, but sooner is better than later.
If you EVER go to the hospital ER and say my kid is having seizures you will be in FAST. If she has one there...you will be in and hospitalized in a
SECOND. It's no joke. So why would she be so trivial if the hospital is not?
Also, ask the doctors all the questions you need to get comfortable. Plan on spending some serious time researching, understanding, coping. This is
something that WILL effect so many other things (depending on your specific situation) so you and your ex should prepare for that.
The best thing anyone ever told me was a co-worker who said:
"It's like being diabetic, you get your medicine, watch what you eat, LIVE A NORMAL LIFE."
It took me a year or so, but I found a profoundness in that statement. Perhaps you will too. It's been 3+ years for me and we still juggle medicine
doses and deal with nightime seizures. I don't hope for her to grow out of it anymore, I just hope to find a med that works 100%. She takes 3 meds
currently for it and we have had about 6 months of very, very few seizures (prior was one month). They are starting to slowly come back, probably due
to growth (meds to body weight), so it is a constant battle. But we have adjusted and live a close to normal life. 50/50 custody with her living in
each home 50% of the time. It does take work and communication. In the end, it's about your daughter, not your ex or even you (you know what I am
Anyway, I have done much research into it and my new (soon to be) wife is in the medical industry. If you need any advice or just wish to have an
understanding ear...send me a u2u. That goes for anyone with this issue.
Just remember your not alone in this. You can read my blog story from Wed Jan 14, 2004 called "No More Prophets?" which describes a bit of our