Do you think marriage is an abomination?

So I was talking with my friends and the issue of marriage came up for some reason. There were five of us and 2 said marriage was good (plus me) and 2 said marriage was bad. One of my friends went as far as to call marriage an abomination. Remember now this is a group of 4 guys and 1 girl all between the ages of 18 – 21.

We actually argued about it for a while last night and I was left with many good answers that regarded marriage as good and good answers that regarded marriage as bad. So it put me in an odd position of indecision since I was never hard-line on my position in the first place. I just wanted to weigh the opinions of ATS members those who are divorced, married, single, etc… Everyone feel free and encouraged to reply.

Do you think marriage is an abomination?

BUMP

I do not think the idea of marriage is an abomination. But I do think about 90% of marriages are a sham.

By that I mean a marriage ceremony where you stand in front of everybody you respect, and take a set of traditional vows. Anyone who has done this and then broken the vows destroy peoples trust in others. Not just their marriage. I have personally refused to go to some weddings because I knew I was about to be lied to, and every time I was correct.

I think if most people had the balls to be honest, we would see less marriage and less divorce. And I sincerely believe a child growing up in a single parent environment, is better off than a broken marriage.

Please note: I have never been married, so I have do not have a twisted point of view either way. It is just what I have witnessed.

It also has to be noted that the idea of marriage is skewed by the fact woman live longer. Go back 200 years and most men where on their 3rd wife by age 30. Because childbirth was so dangerous.

reply to post by Misoir

I would say marriage is an abomination if one enters into it because they feel it's "about time", or because the partner is pressuring it, or for any reason other than a genuine connection with this other person and commitment to stick with this person through thick and thin, or "for better or for worse".

I think divorce often happens because the marriage should never have happened in the first place.

It does seem like there are less and less genuinely marriageable couples these days. The right thing to do is to remain single in this case. I'm not sure why this is happening these days but I suspect it's some form of cultural decay; in any case you as an individual can still control whether you get married or not.

As the Danimal once said:

"Before you get married, your partner is on his/her best behavior. Once you're locked into the steel cage together, you're going to find out what (s)he's really like. And a lot of it isn't going to be pretty. You can take every problem you're seeing now and multiply it by ten, and throw in a stack of new problems that you don't have any clue about yet. Therefore, if you see some problem that already looks serious to you, then you would be out of your mind to marry this person."

marriage, in most cases, is a pact between two parts to pay bills.

I don't think it's an abomination but I think it's daft to make a vow to your partner to stay together until the day they die, as all people change as they get older. It's fantastic if two people can stay in love throughout their marriage and accept, yet not hinder either persons personal development in life.

People who only stay together due to a vow and have fallen out of love with each other, are only inflicting pain and suffering on each other, to themselves and those around them. Sure, you can put on a brave face to the outside World and pretend you marriage is as solid as rock but who are you kidding?

Sure marriage works for alot of people, but if the concept of marriage was a ten year contract made to be renewed as a test, to show how strong that love still is between two people, I wonder how many people would keep getting re-married.

I can only answer for myself and I am a 58 year old woman who has been married to the same person for over 36 years.

It all depends on who you marry pure and simple.

Marriage an abomination?

That is for each person to decide and to be respected for their decision. Times are changing and humankind is evolving in many ways in regard to relationships and commitment.

Some will chose a mate that is their same sex (soul has no color or gender).
Some will chose to have multiple partners.
Some will chose not to commit to anyone
Some will chose the traditional opposite sex partner and try to commit to that one special someone.

I've noticed a trend now days for young women to want the fancy princess "marriage ceremony" and "baby experience" solely for the experience without regard to the real commitment a traditional marriage calls for. You see this being promoted on TV by Bridezilla, Fantastic Wedding Cakes and all these other "reality shows" catering to just the marriage ritual where as the bride can be "queen for a day".

Our society has become very superficial and decadent just like the Romans right before the fall of Rome.

I read an article years back about the Chinese having a one baby per couple policy and how it has affected their social structure. The article was called, "Spoiled Baby Syndrome" and dealt with people having an only child tended to spoil their child and that child growing up a very spoiled and bratty adult.

I think that is what has happened to our youth today.

Most young people now, sadly live in one parent homes and have never had the experience of watching two people really having to work out their differences (compromise), letting the other person get their way 50% of the time or more.

Most younger people now have all the physical goodies, xboxes, ipods, cell phones, their own room, their own private bath, cars at 16 and yet there is no parent around to guide them. They learn that instant gratification is the be all and end all.

Many children now are left alone after school once they hit 10-11 and the TV is raising them, instilling Hollywood's warped values of being pretty, stupid, non thinking and narcissistic.

Being mean and selfish is now considered "cool". Look at the role models, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears.

No, in my opinon, marriage is not an abomination, to me anyway, it's the joining of two souls into one. Waking up everyday to your best friend, sharing lifes journey, having another shoulder to cry on and another pair of arms to help pull you up when you fall and being able to help that person up when they fall as well...............someone that you can depend on and trust and they can depend and trust you as well.

My husband isn't a smooth talker, he isn't the most romantic person but he has always been there for me and of all the men on earth, I feel very fortunate to be married to him.

As a side note: I was born out of wedlock. I never knew my father's people, half of my heritage was lost to me. That is not right. Family is important. The family unit is what makes us human and one of our most important strengths. All children should be allowed to know both sides of their heritage, mother and father. I speak as a paternal grandmother who deeply loves her grand daughter and am very thankful each time we are together.

I sometimes wonder if the breaking up of the family unit by the corporations and TPTB aren't being done on purpose?

You break down that family unit, you break down the society and each person then becomes "every man for himself".

I suspect, the breakdown of the family unit is very intentional for the family unit is one of humanity's greatest strengths.

Where I use to work at, so many young people lived by themself, alone or with another room mate to share expenses, a business agreement, nothing more.

For me, marriage has been a real wonderful experience.

My biggest fear is that he goes before me. I do not fear death, but I do fear waking up and him not being beside me.

reply to post by Misoir


Marriage is not an abomination if you marry for the right
reasons.
My first marriage was an abomination,I married a man
that I did not love because he got me pregnant.
My second marriage is not an abomination,I walked down
the aisle totally in love with this man.

I wonder what you mean by 'abomination.' Are you talking about an abomination in the eyes of god? If so, then yes marriage is an abomination because you're showing dedication to an earthly being. What if you're marrying someone to be together as you rejoice in god's love? Then why stand before a priest and claim your undying devotion to be with that person.

Perhaps you''re marrying to dutifully follow god's command to 'go forth and multiply' without muddying the waters. After all, if we multiply with whomever we choose whenever we feel like it, we're no better than pagans. If you want to follow this 'divine' command in a christian manner, you want to get married. But how is it not an abomination then. Any progeny that you have will be unclean and burdened by sin.

What if you wish to ignore the christian ideals completely and get married for good old-fashioned sex? The question would be, what do you consider an abomination. Marriage without sex? If that's true, then it's an abomination when the interested parties become too old to have sex. So at that point, the marriage should be terminated.

What about having sex without getting married? What's wrong with that?

Abomination to what and to whom? I have to agree that the image of traditional marriage is slowly changing. It's not the fault of same sex couples or anyone else. Since generations change over time and younger people have to work. Being married is one the biggest difficult dead ins you can get in. Many young people should be getting a career and what not. Still I believe that anyone should get married and raise a happy family.

I am a newly wed and got married last December. I am 30 years old and waited a long time to find mr right. I got married knowing that I would never divorce him for reasons other than if he became a severe drug/alcohol addict or became abusive. Everything else is not a deal breaker. I entered my marriage knowing that there is no "easy way out" and knowing that I dont have an "out" when times get tough- and boy they have been tough. I think of it this way because I am disabled with Multiple Slcerosis. A serious illness really puts life into perspective. My husband has supported me in every way possible for the past 5 years weve been together and has taken care of me in my sickest of times. For us- there is no option of divorce. Most people dont think of marriage this way. I consider myself blessed to have found the perfect person for me, for the rest of my life, whatever may come.

Nah.

The pretentious little brats that keep springing out of these marriages, though?

They are abominations.

Marriage is neither an abomination nor a sacred bond. Marriage is benign. It's whatever the two people make of it.

I think a lot of young people are disillusioned about marriage because of so many divorces. It's sometimes really hard on kids and it turns them against ever getting married because there's so much pain sometimes.

Were your friends who called marriage an abomination from divorced parents?

The one thing I will say about this is that I do not think it is a mistake that marriage is popularized in our culture. From the day they are born, girls are indoctrinated to marriage and the duties of a wife. From toys that make them think cooking and cleaning are fun to life like dolls that teach them that they should want to be a mother.

Boys do get a bit of the same as well, with toy 'tools' and the such.

A married populace is a busy and complacent populace. In ths day and age, to have a family, have a home, your life must be dedicated solely to that. Most are forced to become good 'worker bees'.

So, from that perspective, i'd say yeah, it is an abomination in the way it is used against the population.

From the perspective of committing oneself to another, absolutely not.

Marriage is only for strong in mind people. For most people it probably is not worth it, as they would too easily become sluts, as trust is beyond them, and they listen to much to there passions.

Marriage is really only for peopel strong in there mind.

Thats why its going out of fashon with todays people, people are just too soft to live a life of trusting and loving one person.

Man today people break up for farting in bed. Back maybe just 30 years + ago, people would actually work at stuff if they liked someone and loved them. Of course if there is violence in the marriage they should just break up, i am not talking about that.

But marriage is only for strong minded people, and that may be a thing of the past. Marriage is only workable if both people are strong in the mind. Thats a thing in humans that may be in the past, as strong minds is not what the ptb want.

Personally i do not care about marriage(i will never have anything to do with it), but if two people want to do it, it will only work if both are strong in there minds, as life in long and alot of pitfalls.

Originally posted by andy1033
Man today people break up for farting in bed.

**LOL** For cryin' out loud,dude, get up and take a dump! But seriously, some girls think it's cute.