Okay - this is my confessional, as I feel I'm getting the cold shoulder here on ATS for a particular reason. Those who have connected the dots/seen
another thread or two where I posted direct info about my previous identity here on ATS will know that I used to be NoahTheSumerian.
Why did I change my persona? Well, it comes down to shame. I was ashamed at myself for lying/ telling a half-truth on one of the boards (in a thread
which wasn't all that important in the grand scheme of things). I expressed to members including Doomsday Rex and Harte (amongst others) that I had
a BEng (Hons). This isn't true. I am working towards
a BEng (Hons) via the well-reputed Open University.
My knowledge on the subject of the thread (megalithic architecture at Baalbek, Lebanon) was flawed, and I was trying to hold an untenable position in
defence of the 'alien astronaut-esque' theories. To try and lend weight to my argument, I dropped into the thread that I held an engineering
degree. That, as stated, isn't the truth. I have some decent engineering knowledge, but I don't yet hold the full degree.
God only knows why I said it... It was a moment of madness, short-sighted and most definitely out-of-character. In ordinary life, I am honest to a
fault, and it has gotten me into scrapes in the past. I was raised to hold that honesty is the best (and only) policy. It gnaws at my soul to know
that I lied even once on ATS, hence this feeling of being in the cold might simply be paranoia induced by the guilt!!!
I was ashamed at myself, felt that I'd let myself down, and decided to back off from ATS and come back under another guise to 'try again', in the
hope of redeeming myself. That hasn't quite worked out, and I feel that especially from some of the senior members I appear to be getting the cold
shoulder when interacting on threads recently. Is that because of 'the lie' or is that because I'm generally considered a bit of a dusch? I
really do want to 'belong' here on ATS (desperate as that sounds
...), but I'm worried that there's an unspoken law of the board - that any
member caught in a lie will never be fully admitted 'into the congregation' so to speak.
Is there any hope? Is there life after a lie..?? Will any of the senior/ experienced members on ATS ever have anything good/ ambivalent to say to me
following this incident, or am I doomed to be an ATS pariah forevermore...?
I know that in research terms people aren't taken seriously after being caught in a lie, but I'm hoping that as I don't purport to be a researcher
- I am a generalist in the strictest sense of the term - that maybe, just maybe, even the hardcore guys and gals can see fit to forgive my mistake/
If the lack of responses to my comments all over the forum is just because I come across as a bit of a dusch, I would love to hear an exposition on my
faults, and why it is that people don't seem to like talking to me on here any more. Please, I know this sounds weird and desperate, but if I can
change my demeanour I will. I'll need some pointers, some validation, some acceptance... :/
ATS is a conspiracy site - I'm sure lots of users have felt they are 'on the outside' in various situations in real life - it's not a nice
feeling. If I can remedy my 'sins', I will do, but I could do with knowing if I'm just being paranoid...
Thanks in advance ATS.
Much love to all,