Can we create our own experiences/life/realities after we die???

Lately, for some reason I have been thinking a lot about death and what awaits us after this life. Some of you may have read the thread I started in the Religion, Faith, and Theology forum on what awaits us after death. Through discussions on that thread, I came to a thought that I believed deserves its own thread and discussion.

Here is the link to the thread I was talking about on what awaits us after death, if anyone is interested in reading it: www.abovetopsecret.com...

First off, I believe that we are able to create what happens to us in this world. The belief that positive thoughts results in positive things happening to you. Therefore, negative thoughts results in negative things happening to you. Through this we are able to create our destiny, so to say (sort of like The Secret). I also believe in reincarnation and that we choose the life we are to live in this world, to experience certain things, and the cycle continues until we reach a certain level.

Going from there is it therefore too hard to believe that we are then able to create our realities/what happens to us after we die??? Is it possible to think that whatever we believe in or think will happen to us after we die, will then be created, and it will be our actual reality after we die?? Therefore making everyone's experiences and realities after death different then others. For example, if someone believes in heaven and seeing Jesus, would they then create that into actually happening after they die. You could go on and on with different examples and different possibilities of people's realities after death from all the beliefs out there. To me this could explain the differences in peoples stories in NDE and what they saw and experienced.

I would like to know everyone's thoughts on the possibility that this could be real and we could be able to create our realities after we die, similar to how we can create our realities here in this life.

Let the discussion begin....

I believe that this is true. When you leave your body (you don't necessarily have to die), your soul is open to another plane, outside and inside of the physical. If we truly do live in the 4th dimension, then perhaps we can visit ourselves in the past, kinda of like seeing yourself as an Old Man.

reply to post by theUNKNOWNawaits


Why have you been so concerned about death?
Why not just leave it for the dead to worry about.
And life after death, where did that spring from?
The statement doesn't make sense.
Are you saying there is no death?
And if we create this world, and the next,
And even the one that went before!
Just look at the mess you've made of things!

reply to post by leira7


I agree that it is only our bodies that die, and that our souls live on. Where it lives on and goes to is the question that has been puzzling and taking up my thoughts lately.
The idea of being able to visit and see ourselves in the past is kind of a freaky and cool thought. Would you be able to affect yourself though or only be able to watch yourself??

reply to post by midicon


I am not sure why I have been concerned with death so much lately. Perhaps with all the predictions and thoughts out there of our incoming doom or perhaps just because we are not immortal and one day we/our bodies will die. How can one not think at one point in their life what happens to us after we die and what it is like? To me it is an extremely interesting topic.
Life after death or some reality after death to me, instead of nothing, makes more sense and life to me more meaningful. If there is nothing after this life, then it makes it to me seem like this life has no purpose and what is the point of it?
I guess in a way, I am saying that there is no death. There is death for our bodies, yet I feel our souls carry on in some way. In what way, I do not know.
Yes and no it makes it into a mess. This is because if you can create all this it seems messy, yet it would make things more simple by the fact that you would have control over what your experiences/lives/realities are.

The Pert Em Heru ("Egyptian Book of the Dead"), The Bardo Thodol ("Tibetan Book of the Dead"), and Ars Moriendi (Art of Dying), all explain the same process.




To sum it up:

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche

"In the first instant after death, it is of no consequence whether in life we were a good practitioner and accumulated much merit or were an inferior practitioner and accumulated negativities. At this precise moment, regardless of whether we have accumulated merit or not during our life, we can recognize our essential nature and liberate ourselves from samsara....

"...Here the Sutra concept of cause and effect no longer obtains. Efforts we made in our past life make no difference. This is the moment to apply the "path of force." If in this moment we have the strong force of our practice, we can quickly gain enlightenment."

Beyond Death: The Gnostic Book of the Dead

"The last thought of the dying one is definitive. If that dying person does not want to comeback, if he does not want to return, he can escape and not return, but for this you cannot have really bad Karma. There are people that have such hard Karma because of their perversities, that naturally they will have to come back.

"The worst part is that the majority of people will have to descend. Instead of being reborn and returning to this world, they will have to transfer their existences, whether they want to or not, to the Infernal Worlds, and unfortunately this is the case for the majority of people."

DZOGCHEN MEDITATION FOR DYING, AFTER-DEATH AND REBIRTH

"But if you are not a practitioner, these clear lights will flash by you in less than a moment, like distant flashes of lightening on the dark horizon at midnight. Thus, this Second Bardo, the Bardo of the Clear Light of Reality, will pass you by. You return from the archetypal world to the world of formation that is the domain of your own personal karma."

COMMENTARY TO THE BONPO BOOK OF THE DEAD

"However, it is likely that the experience of the Clear Light after death will occur so rapidly, almost instantaneously like a flash of lightning, that the individual will fail to recognize it unless one has done practice during one's life time, including both Dzogchen and Tantric practice. So, not every deceased consciousness will experience this Bardo of the Clear Light."

reply to post by Tamahu


Thanks for the books and information. I will have to read up on that as from what you summed up sounded agreeable to me.

It seems very possible doesn't it
Einstein said that anything you can think of is possible...

which basically means if you are capable of thinking about something however impossible it may seem to u or anyone listening, it is still possible.. if its impossible, you don't have the ability to think of it!

along the same lines, i think everything that has happened to us in our lives is only cos somewhere deep down us, thats wat we really wanted.. and everything that we've wanted will come true...

The secret maybe just the steeping stone to this thought, but is nowhere close to being absolute.
It is still made in the intention of making money, so a little truth with a lot of not...

if in this life you are capable of laying your future path down, i don't see how that changes after your death...
cos death is a liberation of your inner self from the physical body (jail).
so this inner self is creating ur world for u now, it will create your life for you in the future - past our deaths as well

good thought.. the more u think the more you will discover

Originally posted by theUNKNOWNawaits
Thanks for the books and information. I will have to read up on that as from what you summed up sounded agreeable to me.

You're welcome.

Originally posted by letmeDANz
good thought.. the more u think the more you will discover

This is true (in a sense) in regard to what is referred to as the line of personality. However, in regard to the line of Being, it is not necessarily so.

Imagine two lines: One vertical, and one horizontal. The horizontal line is of our personality, with it's thoughts, likes, dislikes, fears, memories, fantasies, etc. The vertical line is of our level of Being (Jacob's Latter). Where the two lines intersect, is where we find ourselves in each moment.

The great Spiritual traditions teach the Science of Meditation, in order for us to go beyond our minds; because when our mind is quiet, we are able to hear the Voice of the Silence.

When we die, the line of personality is of very little value. It is our level of Being that matters more than anything (this is implied in the quotes posted in my previous post).

And this is not written with the intention of challenging the valid points in your post. I'm just offering a perspective.

And I agree with you that "The Secret" is mostly a money-making scam (whether all parties involved in its production are aware of the fact or not). Not to say that "The Law of Attraction" doesn't exist. Because it does. It is just that the authors of "The Secret" are only showing us a very small fraction of how it works. I would say, if anything, that "The Law of Attraction" is only a part of the Law of Karma.

reply to post by letmeDANz


Exactly anything you think even possible can be made happen.
I definitely agree with you on The Secret, that is why I said sort of. I think also that it has some of it in there, however not everything. What else there is a question, though I can not answer. And yes it is about making money so you have to take it with a grain of salt, but I do think it has a lot of truths in it.
Yes, it may seem that what is happening is not what we want, but the more we think of these things it keeps creating those things we necesarrily don't think we want and what we do think we want.
That is exactly how I came to this thought. If we can create here, why not after our bodies have died, our souls still live on (in my opinion).

reply to post by Tamahu


Interesting, you are making me want to read what you suggested even more now. Can't wait until I get some free time away from work the next couple days.

So you believe that an evolved being, for example, could clone himself, die and be "reborn" into a new yet already existing body that he created and transfer his memories?... or some type of variation of that scenario?

This I'd like to see. It seems that being reincarnated into a new naturally born body seems enough of a feat for many to find unbelievable.

Who knows?

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Yes, I think it is possible.
I do believe that we our going to eventually be able to clone ourselves. Then there is a possiblility that that person could die and then when they choose their next life/experiences could reincarnate into that cloned being. Or as you say some type of variation to this.

Who knows is right. I do believe though that if we can think of it, it is possible. Nothing is impossible.

i would have to agree, although we can never know what happens after death until we ourselves are beyond that point. although there is ultra melodrama in the movie What Dreams May Come, i have a feeling the idea of reincarnation is pretty on the spot in that movie. the imagery as to what may be after we part from our physical selves is what i would have to say i firmly believe in. we are one in life and i believe those which we are closest to, we can somehow physically manifest to, until we are pulled away and ushered on to the next stage of being. i am sure this has all been said before somewhere else here at ATS, and i don't feel this way because i want to believe death is not just the black end of all, i believe these feelings to be true because of the dreams i've had, dreams of times that are long past and the way people often tell me i seem to have come from a time that has come and gone.. i feel i have.. i can see having lived nearly the earliest part of this century, i can see having lived lifetimes throughout history... i guess i just need to figure out what i'm doing wrong so i can get out of the spiral and continue to the next step... sorry if this is all way off subject, i don't feel it to be, but as i can easily admit in this life, i have been wrong before...

Being trapped in a pattern concerning this life is a feeling I can certainly relate to despite not ever having been tortured or severely beaten and having people who care about me near. There has still been a lot of confusion from others, a lot of defiance from me for the patterns I see despite being fed and clothed. there has even been some rage and it's generally about principles I tend to latch on to. Weakness? Strength? Who knows... perhaps both. Feeling a bit of an old soul when sad is another thing I notice despite feeling young at heart a lot of the time when I am happy. I've been curious about this. I swear I have vague memories of being in the womb. I believe I remember some extremely early dreams. I have known things were going to happen before they did and didn't understand it to be able to do anything about it but it makes me wonder about time... well, not really the aspect of time but the notion of a timeless understanding. I have been very curious about past lives because I feel this might not have been the first but to toss around ideas in my own mind after obviously being born with a different brain is pointless as it stands. Perhaps without other information these will just be things I somehow feel.

It seems it would be nice to know how one can preserve memories and prevent us from having to "reboot" if our souls are in fact eternal. Who knows what is possible. I do believe that to clone a person or animal and let it be born does not seem to support the idea that the same soul is going to inhabit that body as some people in this world would like to suggest in order to collect funds from the rich and grieving. That brings me to the question of how to clone and grow a body that has no soul and to not allow another soul to inhabit that body while it waits for the soul it was intended for. What attaches the soul to the body and how do you control it? How do you eliminate and replace it when the time comes? If anyone is or ever will be capable of that, I'd have to say that's pretty clever.
... and then there are memories which are obviously separate. Surely these are something one would want to preserve if they want to prolong life into a new body. It seems it would be the entire reason if the soul on it's own can find a new body and be naturally born without assistance. Would this be a procedure as well or would these memories just be kept as external material waiting to be reviewed like history once the new life begins to function... and can be accepted not only mentally, but also by some subtle familiarity in it's spiritual being.

It's an interesting subject. I began thinking about this when I started wondering how a specific soul can be identified/recognized in the first place. Talk about a higher perception! I wonder.

Yes. And I will explain based solely on my experiences of working with the dead to take them into the Light.

What we call ghosts are the dead who have not moved on for various reasons. Most of those are still "living in the world they knew".. even 20 to 50 years after their physical death. They do not see the changes that happened, instead they only see what they knew. My job with them is to bring them to clarity and understanding so that they can perceive and move on to the Light

Those who move away from this low earth 'realm' likewise can all too easily create a reality based completely on their Beliefs, the Indoctrinations and their own personal issues. Hence some create replicants of their life, others may create a hellish experience, etc.

This is why the Egyptians and the Tibetans had a system of directing the newly dead toward the Light so that they do not get caught in the Belief-System Territories as it is being called these days.

As an aside, there was a hollywood movie made with Robin Williams called "What Dreams May Come" which provides a fairly interesting illustration of what can occur if one is not fully Aware of their passing/dropping off of the flesh.

I hope this helps to answer you question.

reply to post by schitzoandro


Hmm, I have never seen that movie before. I looked it up on imdb.com and it sounds intriguing, Ill have to watch it sometime. I also believe that we are able to be close to those that we are close to in this life. I also think there may be a possibility that in the next life we are reincarnated with the same people, yet in different roles. I think that is a maybe. Interesting you came to this through your dreams. Can you tell us some of these dreams at all? It is definitely not off subject and I find it extremely interesting.


reply to post by ChaosMagician


I also feel when I am sad a bit of an old soul and when I am happy, young at heart. Can you share some of the dreams you are talking about?
On the cloning subject, perhaps when one clones oneself, no soul is in that body immediately. So if you died soon enough you could be able to reincarnate into that cloned body. Maybe??? Who knows though, as this is all hypothetical. As for our memories the person I think would not have them from their previous life, just like it is now with our regular bodies (not cloned ones).
I wish though that we would be able to access past lives memories, as life would seem so easier. Though I guess that is the point not to make it easier.

reply to post by Tayesin


Wow, another reference to the movie What Dreams May Come. I definitely got to watch this now.
I do agree that ghosts are those that have not moved on for some reason.
So you work with them, how are you able to do your job, making them understand and move on?
I am glad that you think the answer to the question of my thread is true. How did you come to this belief that it is true?
It definitely makes sense why the Egyptians and Tibetans would do that, yet how did they come to this, without some outside help? Were they just that smarter than us or what?
Yes your post did help and I look forward to your reply on this post. Thanks in advance!

Originally posted by theUNKNOWNawaits
reply to post by schitzoandro

 

Hmm, I have never seen that movie before. I looked it up on imdb.com and it sounds intriguing, Ill have to watch it sometime. I also believe that we are able to be close to those that we are close to in this life. I also think there may be a possibility that in the next life we are reincarnated with the same people, yet in different roles. I think that is a maybe. Interesting you came to this through your dreams. Can you tell us some of these dreams at all? It is definitely not off subject and I find it extremely interesting.


reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

I also feel when I am sad a bit of an old soul and when I am happy, young at heart. Can you share some of the dreams you are talking about?
On the cloning subject, perhaps when one clones oneself, no soul is in that body immediately. So if you died soon enough you could be able to reincarnate into that cloned body. Maybe??? Who knows though, as this is all hypothetical. As for our memories the person I think would not have them from their previous life, just like it is now with our regular bodies (not cloned ones).
I wish though that we would be able to access past lives memories, as life would seem so easier. Though I guess that is the point not to make it easier.

When I say there are dreams I think I had in the womb it is because of a few characteristics of the dreams... and this might be hard to explain. I certainly do not remember everything about infancy and earlier childhood and don't want to make It sound like I'm trying to say I do.

One aspect is the fact that even though i forget a lot of dreams, if I remember a dream... I usually know certain things like how old i was when I had the dream and where I lived and general things about the time frame. there are always tends to be a point of reflection when i remembered the dream... whenever the remembrance took place. Some of them do not have that characteristic. Some of my dreams I can remember, but can't for the life of me remember when I had them or even remember that I remembered the dream at a specific point. It just seems they have always been a part of my mind... or at least for a very long time. Now of course these dreams could be from early childhood- a time which of course I have trouble remembering many parts of... but some of these dream have strange characteristic that make me wonder and this may be apparent as I describe a few.

In one dream I saw not much of anything as if i was just floating around in a cloud like place. maybe it was the sky... I don't know, there was nothing else, no ground, no sun... no other images. I remember hearing music and I liked it. i remember hearing the voice of one of my sisters and it seemed like she was talking about me and my parents and relating us somehow into her understanding. I heard the voice of my father and by the way my sister was talking to my father I knew she was my sister. It felt like I knew my father but had not yet met him. This was a very pleasant dream and I felt contentment and anticipation.

Another dream is I was submerged and it was very quite, serene and dark but not completely dark and I could literally sense my mother but i didn't see her or hear her. It was very brief but I have always remembered it and when I was a little girl I remember asking my mother if we were ever going to go swimming "at that one place" and she had no idea what I was talking about... but I was trying to remember something, trying to figure out if it was a dream or memory.

Another dream I had is I fell and it #ing hurt like hell...like from very far up, like out of the sky and the sky was dark and something seemed to crack when I fell... I don't know if it was the sky or the ground or what. The sky was dark like a storm was coming, not like night and everything was dreary and I felt this sense of doom and impending failure and it was just a terrible terrible dreadful feeling that I can't describe and it seems someone else was there but I can't remember who. I assume this is a dream but I don't remember having it... it just seems to have always been there. the pain that I felt in this dream makes me wonder if I had it around the time I was born. It feels like it's related to something very real... and to be so far back to a time I can't recall, it's fairly vivid. I remember very vividly how much it hurt and how serious it felt. it just felt like a really serious moment. I doubt I will ever forget that memory.

It seems like there was something else i was going to say but it wasn't a dream memory and now I can't remember what it was... had something to do with the last post. I will have to reread and get back to what I was going to comment on later.

Hi again..

Originally posted by theUNKNOWNawaits
reply to post by Tayesin

 

Wow, another reference to the movie What Dreams May Come. I definitely got to watch this now.
I do agree that ghosts are those that have not moved on for some reason.
So you work with them, how are you able to do your job, making them understand and move on?
I am glad that you think the answer to the question of my thread is true. How did you come to this belief that it is true?
It definitely makes sense why the Egyptians and Tibetans would do that, yet how did they come to this, without some outside help? Were they just that smarter than us or what?
Yes your post did help and I look forward to your reply on this post. Thanks in advance!

How do I work with them? Never been asked that question as most people wave me off by then, lol.

Usually, they are found with "spirit eyes".. I close my physical eyes and look for the energy... while others like my daughter could see them with physical eyes.. lucky one. I used to up until I was 4 years old but one scared the hell out of me and since then I couldn't see them easily.

In my old shop they would line up in the corner and wait for me to come to work.. something to do with the bright light built up there from working which attracted them in.

Anyway, some are ready to see and communicate, others who haven't learned how to yet are the hardest ones. With them I have to send them images to show how to talk with with me.... much like how I send images to my cats to show what I want them to do.. can't explain it any better than that sorry.

These images are not stationary but like moving pictures filled with information.. firstly how much love feeling/energy I am sending their way in order for them to feel Safe, secondly how to focus and think out loud to me and thirdly anything that need to know in order to help them.

Once we got communication down pat, it's time for me to listen to their story.. then to explain why they are dead if they don't know it, but mostly me listening to them tell me of their experiences in life and after. Usually by the time they are finished and asked some questions they are more than ready to let me hold them and take them directly into the Light... a place I found for myself back in 1978 during experimental "journeys" on my own.

When we get into the light we always come to a place I call the Arrival Zone.. it's where all the dead who make it across go to initially. There is always someone or something (think favoured pets) waiting for them.

Now comes the best part.. as they stand in this place all their FACADE.. life-long Beliefs, concepts and religious attachments ALL start to drop away.. seriously! As this happens they begin to light up from inside and shine... I call this Awakening from The Dream of Life. From there on I am not needed, although many times I stay and check out other things going on there.

You can find this place at the 'highest' level of astral awareness layers where the Akasha and Park are to be found. Monroe calls it Focus 27, Christianity calls it Heaven.. I just call it The Akasha and Park. The reason why I said Christians call it Heaven is because that is exactly what it is like.. Heavenly. And so it is easy to see why some who have near death experiences talk abotu the heavenly place, etc... it has a Harmonic Feel to it.

For me, this is not Belief-Based. Rather it is something I learned from experience as a teenager and have since been doing now for over 30 years. Having a direct experience of it takes it out of the realm of mere Belief and places it firmly in the region of "Factuality"... my new word, lol.

As for the Egyptians and Tibetans, I think we lost as much knowing about ourselves and our real nature as we have gained from our materialistic pursuits. To me, the older cultures had great knowledge and awareness of their place in the universe.. even if they did or do still have Cultural Perspectives that seem a little weird to us now.

So the further we go back into the older cultures the closer we come to when we humans had a knowing of our place in the Flow of Life and Spirit, understanding the lifecycle and operating with full knowledge of the things that exist all around us in each moment. A far cry from how we operate in the most mundane ways today.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Thanks for sharing those, they were very interesting. So do you think those dreams were about past and/or future lives you had? I am assuming that the characters in the dreams/memories were not people you know/knew in this life. Correct me if I am wrong here. I know you say you generally know the time period, could you tell us what the time periods were for the dreams/memories you just shared with us.
For the first dream do you think you were in some sort of afterlife? For the second dream do you think it was a past or future life, where you lived underground? And for the third dream do you think this sense of doom and place you were in, could be the future for us?
If you remember the thing you forgot to say, post it as the ones you did post were extremely interesting.
Thanks in advance!

reply to post by Tayesin


Wow, thank you for sharing with how you work with them. It was also very interesting. How long have you been working with them and did just seeing them with your physical eyes when you were young get you into it? It's amazing that you can remember something you did before you were four, though if it is as big as yours, I guess I would have remembered it too.
I totally agree with you that the more we progress further in today's standards, the farther away we are going from knowing about ourselves, existence, the life cycle, and real nature. It is extremely sad, as the things we are progressing towards are a lot less important than the ones that we seem to be running away from.

Originally posted by theUNKNOWNawaits
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

Thanks for sharing those, they were very interesting. So do you think those dreams were about past and/or future lives you had? I am assuming that the characters in the dreams/memories were not people you know/knew in this life. Correct me if I am wrong here. I know you say you generally know the time period, could you tell us what the time periods were for the dreams/memories you just shared with us.
For the first dream do you think you were in some sort of afterlife? For the second dream do you think it was a past or future life, where you lived underground? And for the third dream do you think this sense of doom and place you were in, could be the future for us?
If you remember the thing you forgot to say, post it as the ones you did post were extremely interesting.
Thanks in advance!

reply to post by Tayesin

 

Wow, thank you for sharing with how you work with them. It was also very interesting. How long have you been working with them and did just seeing them with your physical eyes when you were young get you into it? It's amazing that you can remember something you did before you were four, though if it is as big as yours, I guess I would have remembered it too.
I totally agree with you that the more we progress further in today's standards, the farther away we are going from knowing about ourselves, existence, the life cycle, and real nature. It is extremely sad, as the things we are progressing towards are a lot less important than the ones that we seem to be running away from.

Hmmm.. I'm sorry. I must not have made myself clear.

These dreams I have mentioned aside, I usually remember the time frame of my *other* dreams. For example, when I was very young I had a dream about a sprit in a tree. I remember when this dream occurred. I know where I lived when it happened. I recall reflecting on the dream after it happen, knowing that it was a dream. I remember telling others about the dream right after it happened.

The dreams that I mentioned seem to have these qualities missing. I have reflected on these dreams throughout my life but they are so far back in memory that they seem to have *always been there* and there was no point where I remembered "oh, I had a strange dream last night"..or perhaps at some other recent time in the past. There seems to be no clear point of origin that I can readily access as though the dream was so old, that MOST of the reality around that time frame is also blotted out. They just seem to have always been there like very very distant memories deeply embedded in the past. I do not recall where I lived, when they took place or any of that... and I find this strange and there are only a few dreams that are like this.

Now, these dreams surely could be from early childhood where I would not remember all those other details about waking life as well...such as toddler years, but I get a sense that they are from earlier than that. Not only do I get that "feeling" but if you consider the content of the dreams as a clue, you will see why this ALSO gives me the impression that they are from within the womb except for perhaps the last dream I mentioned but I will still explain why I believe that to be a "pre-birth" dream.

The first dream I am not seeing very clear visual specifics... as though my mind does not yet know what to dream about because I am within the womb and do not have any subconsciously embedded visual to be dreaming about. I can hear sounds... music and voices, which might be heard from within the womb if all is quiet, especially if both my mother and I are resting just as they way a radio seems to get louder as you try to sleep and you can hear it very profoundly. The conversation I am hearing is of my family (my actual family in this lifetime) and the subject seems to be about me, but I cannot see them. I have a feeling that I know my fathers voice... that I specifically know him on a spiritual level, that I know who he is but I have never met him. I hear my sisters voice and it sounds as if she is curious and trying to interpret me into her understanding and my father is answering her... as though I am within the womb and she has yet to meet me. All of the details make me believe that I am within the womb and my father is explaining the pregnancy to my sister.

The second dream... and this one I have actually considered is a moment of being awake but within the womb in a lethargic drifting in and out of sleep state. A moment of awareness during or between sleep stages. I am submerged in a dark place and it's peaceful and serene and I feel my mother's presence literally all around me, it feels very enclosed and comforting... as though she is there with me but I cannot see her. I believe this be a fleeting moment of awareness inside the womb. Later as a little girl while awake I am reflecting on this memory that occurred from a time I cannot identify and I am curious about it, trying to place the memory. Thinking that it could be either a dream or memory I ask my mother when we are going to go swimming at this same place because I sort of felt as though I was drifting in warm deep dark water...and that we went swimming in some unusual place. My mother had no idea what I could possibly be talking about (I remember I was in a car while I was asking her, I was still very young)...she couldn't figure out why no one else would be with us, such as my sisters who were older and would have wanted to go swimming as well and not be left out of this event... not to mention the fact that my mother *DOES NOT* swim. My father was usually the one to take us swimming, sometimes just him, sometimes with my mother but she would rarely even get her feet wet. My conclusion is that this is an early memory or dream within the womb!

The third dream. This is a very early memory and I cannot place it. it just seems to have always been there. Here's the problem. in the dream, even though it must have happened when I was very young, I do not feel young in the dream. It is very odd and out of place but I have remembered it for a long time. There was someone there with me it seems but I can't recall who it was. It seems as though they were walking toward me but who they are is too vague but it seems as though it was a man. The reason that I believe this has something to do around the time I was born, such as just before I was born is because even though I cannot place it adjacent to any part of reality in my waking life... such as how my family seemed when I was young, or how the sun looked to me when I was outside or it shining through the windows, or how the air felt on my skin... I cannot place it akin to any of those feelings but in it's own way, it seems extremely real and extremely critical. I remember the pain. I remember the landscape that seemed kind of dreary or desolate...doomish, a very profound sense of doom and unknown...loss, being lost, a sense of failure, something unbearable, fear...just a terrible situation...like everything/the world is falling apart. I remember the terrible emotions. It seems like just a very important event that was taking place that my mind can't comprehend and can't attach it to my reality as though it was not subconsciously tied to my waking conscious world the way many of our dreams are exactly that... tied in with what we've seen and felt in real life. I do believe it was very early, perhaps pre-birth... I feel certain of it. The reason that I am *guessing* that it occurred perhaps right before I was born is because of the pain... the terrible pain... like pain everywhere.

The only event in my past that I can assume might have involved that much pain that would inspire this dream or these thoughts is the reality that I am about to be born into a world of pain that I am not familiar with and seems terrifying... or that being born itself is painful and when the time comes as you are perhaps in the womb dreaming, changes take place, the entire environment of the world as you know it (the womb) changes or seems to fall apart, the person you are closest to is also in great pain and you come out screaming. It must be painful is all I can assume! I just feel this was a life changing event for some reason because of how critical it felt... so I am thinking it was a pre-birth dream.

I don't know, perhaps I should be hypnotized and it is just a dream I had later. More recent dreams seem different though. Later memories seem different. I remember one time when I was still in my play pen and couldn't walk or talk, I crammed my fingers through the play pen mesh holes and they turned blue and I was screaming my head off because they were stuck, lol. Even though that is an later memory... it feels different then the ones I mentioned. It feels more recent. It feels more like I notice things in the subtle feelings it gives me about life at that time... such as knowing that my mother is an earshot away and I'm screaming so she will come help me... or the feeling of sunlight in the room, being in the middle of the floor. Subtle things... or even smells. My middle sister (I'm the youngest) had a game called "don't spill the beans" and I could remember this game but have very few memories of that time period because I was so young... perhaps two, but I remember how the plastic beans smelled. I don't know how the game worked but I remember liking the beans. I remember being very young and my mother carrying me bundled up in a blanket and I could feel the cold open air very distinctly. I know what blanket she had me wrapped in. Even though I was very small, these memories feel like more recent times... and the ones I mentioned, especially the first two do not have feelings of the open air or the smells of the houses we lived in or anything like that. I can't place remembering them or at what time I began reflecting on them or where I was or anything like that.

As for the last one, I never considered that it had anything to do with anything that might happen in the future. I do not get this feeling but I have been wrong about that before. I felt I was just remembering the past.

...but that leads to what I was going to mention... precognitive dreams. I have made this post long enough for now though. I will leave it at that. I will just say that I do not ever recall having a precognitive dream that I was aware was a precognitive dream and that is unfortunate and very frustrating. Precognitive dreams do not happen to me often and they did not seem like profound dreams at the time like some of my more recent lucid dreams. they only became very suspicious and sinisterly ironic looking back.