A Question For Couples: Would you use the ‘Porn Stick’?

reply to post by silo13


The simple fact of the matter is that trust is enough. Without trust, a relationship is doomed to fail.

Sticks like these have been used by computer techs for years. We used to use flash drives to wipe passwords on windows machines when customers needed urgent fixes and didn't provide the password or wrote them completely wrong and were not contactable.
There are various tools to do what these sticks can do and beyond remotely, if you think the public outcry for these sticks should be bad, well when you learn that your windows (and most likely apple) OS's and most cellphones have backdoors for africa and the dreaded 'NSA key' to do this sorta stuff remotely then ya world is a little different. The only truely secure computer is one that has not existed yet, even that could be accessable using scalar EM technology. If you create information in any way (even thought) it is accessable - energy is never lost, merely transformed.

I question the point of even being in a relationship with your loved one if you need to use a stick like the ones mentioned in the OP!

Originally posted by Mizzijr
Nope. I don't care if my girl watches porn, and my girl don't care if I watch porn. She just better not cheat or I'ma tie her to the bed set the house on fire.

Thats alright because I like the way it hurts

this thread really did not live up to its billing

I am disappointed .....

Originally posted by Merigold
My partner's computer his HIS. It's private. Using a device like that would be totally inappropriate.


We have very clear rules about what is acceptable in our relationship.

Porn for personal use is no problem. However, any kind of sexual contact ( on-line or otherwise) with another party is not acceptable. We trust each other and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he sticks by the rules, but even if I doubted him, I wouldn't dream of using something like the Porn stick. It's an unacceptable invasion of privacy.

I agree and my spouse and I have the same agreement. Porn is ok for personal use, sexual or intimate contact online or otherwise is unacceptable. I watch pornography, my wife doesnt but she doesnt have a problem with me watching it.

But this device is less about porn and more about privacy. It really comes down to trust. I trust my wife and she trusts me so there would be no reason for me to snoop on her computer or for her to snoop on mine.

I hate the idea of spying on people, especially when it comes to things like this.

If you dont trust you spouse and you think he/she is cheating, they probably are and you either need to fix your trust issues or find a partner you can trust.

My opinion on cheating is that you dont get second chances. If you are married and you agreed with your spouse that neither one of you would cheat. If your spouse then goes out and cheats, they did this delibritley and this means that they dont really respect you or your agreement. And not to mention, once someone cheats, it is so tough if not impossible to regain that trust that you once had. It has been tainted and it will always linger in the back of your mind.

If your spouse or partner cheats...dump them, divorce them, get out. Go find someone who respects you and that you can trust. Live is too short to have trust issues with your spouse/partner.

This is really silly. Why is porn a problem? Its ok to show war and people killing each other on TV but god forbid a nipple pop out and its the end of the world.

What a hypocrisy.

A lot of it comes from religion, penis is bad and so is a vagina. Give me a # break!

Fact men or most men like porn and sex.
Fact women are the same, perhaps not as much as man.

Partners who get upset at their wife or husband obviously have trust and self image issues.

Yes as pointed out its private, if she and he want to watch some porn. No issue in my book.

People are still so locked up and embarrassed about their sexuality.

Originally posted by remrem
This is really silly. Why is porn a problem? Its ok to show war and people killing each other on TV but god forbid a nipple pop out and its the end of the world.

What a hypocrisy.

A lot of it comes from religion, penis is bad and so is a vagina. Give me a # break!

Fact men or most men like porn and sex.
Fact women are the same, perhaps not as much as man.

Partners who get upset at their wife or husband obviously have trust and self image issues.

Yes as pointed out its private, if she and he want to watch some porn. No issue in my book.

People are still so locked up and embarrassed about their sexuality.

there are so many different levels of porn. what is point in trying to pigeon hole porn? Some of it is very serious and really says a lot about those who are watching it. take live webcam porn with people you meet in chats...that's pretty much looking for a new partner. if a girl gets knocked up by some guy and tries to make it work and she suspects something and find evidence of these kinds of chats... it's time to hit the road. sometimes snooping is your only way to know. I try not to let a relationship go into that arena in the first place. i've never just let myself get knocked up or remained with a questionable person and i have certainly found things questionable in some guys, but you can't assume that everyone is just so capable of making the most brilliant choices. You can't assume that everyone's door is being beaten down by opportunity in life to the most they can be. sometimes people find themselves in screwed up situations. I don't think going around snooping is good, especially if there's other sensitive info of that computer, like someone writing a book that's supposed to be secret or something... but sometimes when in a screwed up situation, you gotta get your answers and cover your own ass. you can't always judge a book by it's cover.

Is it just me or did anyone else read the thread title and expect to find an article on some sort of new stick to beat prostitutes with?

...if you feel the need to snoop on your partner and you actually do, you are:

...(1) not in a relationship built on mutual respect / trust... and/or...

...(2) you have emotional / mental issues that have nothing to do with your partner... and/or...

...(3) you're so dang hateful to your partner that its both expected and reasonable that they would seek out a way to "get off" without you - but - of course, you wont let that stand in the way of your need to be hateful... and/or ...

...(4) if you find crap, you'll surely whine because you found exactly what you were looking for (aint never satisfied)...

Does it also find videos? I think most men choose video over pictures if they can.

Women need to stop seeing Porn as a threat and rather embrace it as vocation that men enjoy which doesn't require any effort on their part. I would venture a guess that 99% of men with access to a private computer and an internet connection have looked up some kind of porn. It is hard-wired into our brains to seek sexual gratification from people we find attractive.

Wouldn't women rather find porn on their partner's computer as opposed to evidence of secret relationships with other women? Remember phone sex and erotic SMSs don't count if you pay

you forgot the one where you are blinded by trust and want to believe in your love while with a partner that is extremely deceptive and sly and you have nothing but instincts to go on until you find proof that you don't actually want to find.

Ahhh, but this couldn't happen, right? There are no self serving liars in this world.


Happens alll the time.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
Does it also find videos? I think most men choose video over pictures if they can.

Women need to stop seeing Porn as a threat and rather embrace it as vocation that men enjoy which doesn't require any effort on their part. I would venture a guess that 99% of men with access to a private computer and an internet connection have looked up some kind of porn. It is hard-wired into our brains to seek sexual gratification from people we find attractive.

Wouldn't women rather find porn on their partner's computer as opposed to evidence of secret relationships with other women? Remember phone sex and erotic SMSs don't count if you pay

Some porn IS evidence of secret relationships.

How did this turn into such a black and white issue?

I gotta figure out how to block this thread. It is getting on my nerves.

I am a grown ass adult, if I want to look at porn that is my prerogative, anybody who is in a relationship were there spouse tells them they cannot look at porn, is obviously in the wrong relationship

All nighter last night as evident in my prior posts.
I always remind myself I shouldn't write when I'm tired though I don't always listen.
Just kinda happens though I'm sure I'm not alone.

Anyhow, I don't believe trust should be such an issue if the relationship is based on some solid ground. My wife, knows I mean well and don't hassle the ladies but Do appreciate their company and encourage our ladyfriends to come on by time to time, come on by. Looking forward to it. I've known them all for about 7 years now, all cute or special in their own way though it's often the distance that counts. lol

Sometimes it takes time for one to change their ways and learn to adjust to 'living' with a new person. It takes alot of communication, understanding and.....love. Baggage is just that, baggage, don't carry it around the rest of your life, try to 'learn' from it, dump it, where blinders if you have to, just let it go. Too many folks out there lugging around beasts of their own burden. One has a responsibility to themself and their partner to not be 'lame' please, no lameness for there's too much competition and few reruns.

If you really love your partner, you should be willing to make concessions, cooperate, find a solution or take a five minute break and try again hopefully with some kind of creative solution that works for your lover=wife/ladyfriend/acquaintance. That's the way I break it down and try to respect the boundaries though I'm a touchy feely loving fellow and like to spread the pleasure where/when appropriate while respecting one's limits. If you can make someone shiver, quiver or glow in the dark, hey good for you, good for them, win win. Touch, cuddles goes along way in my opinion and as long as one respects the boundaries, they could get 'all kinds' of attention.

My wife and I trust each other after 7 years of marriage with precious baby Emma in tow to make it that much more interesting and fun. I'm lucky for I have a very understanding wife and we're both very attracted to each other after all this time, more so in my opinion as time moves on. She's not perfect for myself though no one is or should be, we learn from all of our partners as we should. NXT.....

Marriage (my second) is not easy at times though well worth it, it's nice to have someone waiting for you at home especially if you enjoy their company. If we have nothing to say, watching her little idiosynchrosies is funny enough. I enjoy the company of certain ladies and do what I can to keep it coming. Everything else is just a distraction or bowe on that present, if you ask me. Like to keep it 'warm' and cuddly, it works for me. The Action can come when it may, patience has it's own rewards as with trust and respect, all three vital in any relationship. Good friends are hard to find so when you find one, why cut the line if it's a keeper? Put some fuel on that fire and if it makes you hot don't forget to 'go' for it.....or not. Too many folks blow too many 'moments' if you ask me. Why waste the chance to make a spark or two without the lameness. I'm all for folks having a good time with one another as long as they 'do no harm' and to 'never take from another that which the other is not freewilled to give'. Works for me most of the time just as another.

If folks want to spy on one another it usually comes to light in time and stays in the conscious as ammo for another day. Not worth it if you ask me unless it becomes a serious concern for future consequences. I'm very open and my wife knows me pretty well so I'm don't feel the need to hide anything. She knows I like to meet the ladies, hang out and chat, maybe some respectful well meaning touch here or there without showing any disrespect, just enjoy each others company as any adult should while respecting the boundaries. I'm ok with my wife visiting her old boyfreind every few months or so though I've met him, trust him and my wife and understand their freindship. Not worried at all though my wife is too precious to do something sexual behind my back. They don't have that kind of attraction anymore, more like a personal crutch in a time of need. Besides his ladyfriend is like a cat, if something 'did' happen, I'd know or hear about it since I know them both well.

If someone did find themselves in a 'moment' with another, I don't see any reason to report to your significant other. Rather, move on, try and learn from the experience and seek more without settling with another that may compete with your wife/other woman.

Some relationships are not meant to be for a lifetime lol, that's just silly to assume and totally unrealistic. Whether a week, month, year or more, it is what it is, perhaps it's time to move on till one finds a keeper that's 'right' for them. I like all kinds of women though tend to end up with the sweet, innocent, clean variety that can carry on a conversation and has a clue of what they're talking about.

Every relationship is unique and requires a unique solution.
I've been pretty lucky so far though I'm careful who I choose to be with.
The eyes don't lie, it's what's behind them that's worth the time.
It this helps someone, awesome, if not, oh well, so be it.

Folks write novels about the love business though can't beat experience, feels much better too.
I certainly don't 'talk' as I write here on ATS for here I try to stay more formal, while trying not to go overboard with the expression bit. Alot is going on in the world in the present and near future so I find it necessary to attempt to stay ahead in the game. Hey if folks feel they can tap into another power, whether found inside or outside of 'yourself' and express it here for all to see and reflect, so be him/her, that's the point.

Unfortunately most folks are not very receptive to bad news and would prefer not to hear it day after day, week after week regardless of how important one feels the information is. I find this difficult to manage as I want to help my friends/family to stay informed so they may be more likely to make the right decisions based on the right information at the right time. Some folks just don't want their nests shaken so you have take care as to what you send what you don't. Suppose that's all I have to say for now.

If you ask me, the kiss is where it's at.
The 'glow' is the confirmation, the glOry of it all.
Feeling that way at the moment though I'm not alone, just in the other room now, 'content', waiting for my heart to settle, cooling off a bit while enjoying the post re>lease peace.
Time to blow a ring or two and hit the sack folks.

Sometimes I spend entirely too much time in here looking for more, waiting, anticipating.....you know. lOl, it's all for a Reason. Always is I suppose with the proof being one's pudding. Folks come in all flavors, good thing we're not all chasing the same one's, well, some ones'.

A relationship the reward.
Ah, that's enough.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Porn itself is not evidence of a secret relationship. It is more evidence that one person's sexual desires are not being met and they have found porn to be the thing that fills this void. I agree that for a relationship to work there needs to be trust and honesty, but expecting men not to look at porn when their sex life is not satisfying their needs is stupid and unrealistic.

reply to post by TheLoneArcher


Awesome..I like your relationship.. Lucky guy...

the people who would use porn stick to find porn on anyone's computer probably have the naive notion that people should never ever masturbate or that ones love partner can give 100% of all sexual needs 100% of the time

these are fairy tales

in real life for many reasons adults need to masturbate

the only reason porn can be a problem is if it is of a disturbing nature and if the person who is looking at the porn is trying to act out what they have seen

if this is so then the love partner will know that disturbing things are being tried out in the bedroom with them and so there is no need for any snooping.

I would like to mention here something that has little to do with porn stick but with porn

seems to me that the porn industry is trying to glamourise anal sex and in particular anal sex straight to vaginal sex without any attempt to clean up first.

DONT

they can do that on the porn dvd's but in real life any germs introduced to the vagina can make partner infertile and that is just not something you want to mess with - our fertility is so dicely already.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

Porn itself is not evidence of a secret relationship. It is more evidence that one person's sexual desires are not being met and they have found porn to be the thing that fills this void. I agree that for a relationship to work there needs to be trust and honesty, but expecting men not to look at porn when their sex life is not satisfying their needs is stupid and unrealistic.

If you would read carefully you would know that I was giving an example of "Could BE". I seriously do not believe I am the one in this thread making blanket statements as a coverall for all circumstances. that's the entire point I have been trying to get people to steer away from! People are in here acting like there is never a time when the situation might call for a little investigation... but NO ONE in here knows all circumstances. I was actually trying to be OBJECTIVE by giving "what if" examples... in light of people making all relationships sound as if they should just so easy and you always have all the answers at your disposal. As if.

I have not taken the time to read the thread, but I did read enough to comment on the topic.

If you need to spy on your partner, that sucks. I can see a need, in certain circumstances, to obtain evidence of infidelity. However, if it's a long-term thing, just end it; don't drive yourself nuts.

Yesterday was my 22nd wedding anniversary (thank you ). In 22 years I have never looked in my wife's purse, read her mail/email, read text messages, etc. You get the idea. She, on the other hand, is less...concerned about privacy than me. I know, and she has admitted, that she has gone through my stuff. Yes, I've always been faithful and I've never given her a reason to doubt my fidelity (she said Amsterdam didn't count- w00t).

Isn't it funny that so many star and flag a thread like this at the beginning, then by page four no one gets a star+

I suggest you live your own life with your partner and cherish it, because its hard living with man or women , add kids even harder, enjoy it, life isn't cheap , *snip* its definitely worthy being a family

As for the porn thingy question, who really gives a toss


Wally

ps don't star me your life is yours , its how ya make it, that is the question that should be asked, measure yourselves as a family

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