phonebooks

What is the deal with phonebooks. Useless crap they leave in my driveway (outside the remote-controlled gates) every few months. A total waste of trees that no one with internet would ever need.

They are only useful for rating firearms, i.e. "This .2220 went all the way through an NYC phone book" or "This .44 talon makes a small hole on the front page, but flattened out so much it ripped the entire back page off of the Atlanta Yellow Pages."

They are useless and a waste of good sawdust. They are only there to seduce businesses to expend their hard-earned dollars on fruitless advertising no one will ever admire.

I'll file that thought away under "excesses of capitalism."

Phonebooks used to be useful. At least in smaller cities, resedntial numbers were listed, not sure about now.
They're just yellow pages now, and I guess they can be useful when you're searching for something, because not everything can be found on the internet, especially if you're searching for an obscure store, restaraunt, etc.

Interesting way to rate firearms

wiping up messes. The paper is not very absorbent.

sandbags. see above.

fireplace fuel. They stink to high hell because of the yellow ink, which contains cyanide, btw.

insulation. The are fairly flammable.

cutting boards. Because they are bound on one side but not the other, they slide and slop around.

stepladders. They don't give you enough of them

insect control. Too heavy to swing with accuracy. Won't get roaches in corners adequately, either.

missles. I put one in my backyard catapult, but the stupid book opened up before it even reached an elevation of 40 ft. or so, effectively slowing it down, and causing it to level out; that it just dropped into the swimming pool.(*%&*%$#@%)

I've got two huge Yellow Pages/phonebooks stacked on a table and a plant sitting on them. Other than that, there isn't much use for them, certainly not worth getting new ones every year. At least where I live they don't just give em to you, but you pick them up yourself, otherwise I'd be pissed because I'd be overloaded with them, and when they're like 4 inches thick, and there are several editions for different parts of the city, someone is begging to be throttled.

Have you noticed that they always seem to deliver phonebooks when its peeing down with rain so that leaving the house you come face to face with a soggy yellow mess in the middle of the path. :shk:

I like phonebooks. When I want a quick listing I don't have to go to the comp, fire it up, hope I get a decent connection, wait for anything to load... sometimes I don't want technology, I just wanna make a call.

And there are many many people who don't have computers. They don't have the money. Or they don't know how to use one and have no interest in getting one. There are people out there who have never even used an ATM machine, and the closest they've come to computer use is running a cash register. They do get recycled, and so are environmentally friendly enough. Maybe you can get taken off the list for delivery.

Torque, don't you leave your computer on most of the time? I mean, I have at least one running on the bridge, even during the night. NEver know when I might get up to pee and feel overwhelmed with the urge to find "a seven letter word for swarm," or something.

The computer is always ready to answer my question or look up phone numbers. I've been known to google a physical address for people who called me without my permission, just to freak em out a bit.

Phonebook pages make EXCELLENT pastel and charcoal canvases and are also GREAT on collage and assemblage.

But thats just me.

Doc, I used to leave mine on all the time.... but then I moved and put it in the bedroom. That constant, eyewatering hummmmmmmmmmmmm began to make me crazy. It became all I could hear. When I turned it off at last, (which took several nights to bring myself to do), the silence was like a solid thing. I could almost hear the whole house sigh with relief! *L*

Hopefully I can get back into leaving it on now that I'm again moving and giving it its own room and maybe a satellite or DSL hookup.

What I really love that no phonebook can do is reverse lookup. I use it to research the company phone bills to figure out who made the 36 minute personal call and tag 'em for it. Lovely evil!!

I can think of some things to do with them: get all the cyanide out of one and get its toxicity level tested and put it on a web site with lots of medical AD and get out ahead. Get a hole punch and punch out billions of confetty (sp?) and stuff it in some ones muffler on a rainy day! Use the pages as cheapo TP (eww). Use them as weights for ballooning.

XL5

You stole my answer !!! lol.....I was gonna say that phone book pages make kinda sorta good toilet paper when you run out of the real thing. It's awfully rough on your tender bits though

I've heard you can rip a phone book in half in one fell swoop if it's done the right way.

We should come up with a list of 101 uses for a superfluous phone book. It would be hilarious. Then we could all collectively publish it and share in the profits !

One of my uses would be to use the pages for Origami :-) Kinda like that guy in Airplane..you know "I could make a hat...or a broach...or a pteradactyl...."



[Edited on 3-7-2004 by KayEm]

LOL, but I think you would run out of reasonable uses at 30, like needing a truck full of them and lots of water sealer to make a hut from them. Paper cuts down there would not be fun.

Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
I mean, I have at least one running on the bridge, even during the night.

Likewise

I leave all my computers on 24/7 (plus ADSL obviously). I have been known to look up addresses for people too, lol.

I don't use phonebooks anymore... We still seem to have them in the house though, haven't a clue why - nobody ever uses them in this house.

The only other good reason for them I can think of, is for proping up a wobbley table or something