Tell me a joke. I need a laugh.

Not a joke but funny

One time a man and a young boy where leading a mule down th road. When a man passed by and said "yall are dumb one of yall can ride that mule". Well the old man jumps on the mule and down the road they go. Till they passed a lady that said "you need to be ashamed of your self riding that mule making that boy walk". So the old man jumps down and the boy climbs on back of the mule and off down the road they go. Till they pass a veterinarian that said "that pour mule yall need to be ashamed of yalls self making it work like that" so the boy jumps off and looks at the old man and says "how are we going to please every one"? The old man says "help me carry it". So they pick the mule up and carry it down the road until they come to a bridge. They start walking across the bridge then suddenly they trip and drop the nule in to the river where the mule drowned.
THE END

the moral of the story is
If you try to please every one sooner or latter you'll loose your ass

how about google goatse
that always cheers me up
no dont do it seriously

reply to post by hillbilly4rent


That was funny. I'll have to remember that.

reply to post by giuve424


Dude. Ewww. Lol. Lucky for me, only the description came up. Saved me from vomiting lol.

there is no such thing as evolution, just a list of animals that chuck norris allowed to live.

Originally posted by giuve424
how about google goatse
that always cheers me up
no dont do it seriously

umm moderators might say something about that. its known that go****e sites are full of maliceous coding and viruses.
DO NOT GO THERE!!!!!

A Jew walks into a Bar...
and Buy's it !!

So there was a rich Russian guy who went to Spain for his summer holidays.
The guy was having dinner at a restaurant.
The guy was a boaster. He called over the waiter, "Manuel come here", so the waiter went over to the table.
"Yes sir?"
The rich Russian guy told the waiter that back home he was the most intellegent man. He asked Manuel if he wanted to play a little question and answer game. Manuel agreed. He said "look these are the rules, I ask you a question and if you dont know the answer, you have to give me 5 euros, then you ask me a question and if I dont know the answer, I have to give you 500 euros". The Russian was sure that his intellegence was superior to the waiter Manuel.
So Manuel agreed to the rules, "ok what is the question then?" asked the waiter.
So the Russian guy asked him "what is the distance between the Earth and the Sun?"
The Spanish waiter did not know this and so he reached for his pocket and handed 5 euros over to the Russian guy.
"Ok" said the Russian guy. "Now its your time to ask me a question, but I must warn you, there is hardly anything I dont know".
By this time a little crowd had gathered just out of curiosity.
So Manuel scratched his head for a second and then asked the question;
"What has 3 legs when it goes up, and then four legs when it comes down?"
The Russian could not believe it, here was a question he did not know.
After some considerable time, he gave up.
The Russian guy handed over 500 euros and Manuel was very happy.
"Ok, so whats the answer?" asked the Russian guy.
Manuel laughed, then he dug into his pocket and took out 5 euros and said "heres 5 euros, I dont know the answer".

Funny jokes. Thanks for bringing this back to life.

What a scam... how could he take advantage of the Russian fellow? He should've known it was unfair to post a trick question, even if there were no concrete agreements aside from the cash prize. I'm sure Manuel was killed over this, or mugged at the very least. It was clever, but I didn't... laugh... um..... uh..... ok.

reply to post by LightBlue


Manuel still there, you can go and play a little question and answer game with him if you wish.
Keep you wallet on a leash.

How do porcupines mate?
Very, very carefully.
One more thing, one could say that porcupines have little pricks. (MODS: by pricks, I mean quills. Nothing dirty was intended.)

What do you get when you dump 20 pounds of cement on a rooster?
A hard cock.

(MODS:Again, nothing dirty was intended. Cock is another term for a rooster. Cement would certainly make it hard.)

A man wakes up one morning and finds a bear is on his roof, so he calls a guy he knows who fixes problems.
He quickly arrives in a pickup with a cage on the back, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a pitbull inside.
Man asks, whats the baseball bat for?
Fixer replies, im going up there and whack that bear!
Then man asks, whats the pitbull for then?
Fixer replies, that dogs specially trained to grab anything that falls off the roof by the nuts and drag it into the cage!
Man then asks, Wow! says man then why did you bother to bring the shotgun?
Fixer replies, thats incase i fall off the roof, shoot the f#&*ing dog!!!

a reply to: Skid Mark

I bought some new underwear,,
and it had Warning label
for Food Sensitive People..
Apparently, my new underwear:
"May Contain Nuts"

a reply to: darrman

Oh, man. That was funny.