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ATS Unleashed: Joke of the Week!

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posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 06:47 AM
Me and a few mates went to Thailand on holiday and on a night out in Bangkok i managed to pull a local Thai bird. It was only after she drove me back to my hotel and parked the car first time that I realised I had made a huge mistake.....

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 06:53 AM
The urge to start singing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is only ever a whim away

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 06:53 AM
Paddy and Mick have just been looting in Argos, they have got 500 catalogues if you want one.....

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 06:55 AM
I met a beautiful woman by the lake the other day..... There was a spark between us and she fell at my feet..... As we lay making love I thought to myself.....these Tazers are well worth the money ...........

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 06:57 AM
Two rules that will guarantee success in your life.....

Rule 1. Never Reveal Everything you know..

posted on Aug, 12 2011 @ 07:51 AM
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring... on silent.

Chuck Norris does not eat honey,he chews bees.

If you are stuck on a test and don't know the answer,write in Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris is always the answer.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn.. he dares it to grow.

Why did Jesus wear a beard... it was a tribute to Chuck Norris.

ATS banned Chuck Norris,because he solved all the conspiracies.

In the original version of the Dark Knight, Batman fights Chuck Norris not the Joker.The film only lasted 7 seconds.

edit on 12-8-2011 by KaiserSouszay because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 04:06 AM
reply to post by HomerinNC

america as their sole singers
we have r sole singers

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 04:13 AM
post removed for serious violation of ATS Terms & Conditions

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 04:17 AM
post removed for serious violation of ATS Terms & Conditions

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 11:32 AM
My mate just asked what ringtone I have!
I answered
"Never really looked, but probably a light brown"!

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 12:02 PM
Mod Note: Terms & Conditions Of Use – Please Review This Link.

Review this link please before someone loses posting privileges

posted on Aug, 14 2011 @ 12:07 PM

off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:35 PM
When is a joke not a joke when the mods dont get it.

posted on Sep, 7 2011 @ 04:41 AM
How many Bankers does it take to change a lightbulb ????

Just one because the rest of the World will revolve around him (or her!)


posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 10:17 PM
Know what happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your wife back, your dog back, your truck back.........

posted on Oct, 2 2011 @ 12:13 PM
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

posted on Oct, 2 2011 @ 12:19 PM

Originally posted by KaiserSouszay
ATS banned Chuck Norris,because he solved all the conspiracies.



A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!”

posted on Oct, 2 2011 @ 01:17 PM
reply to post by PurpleDog UK


posted on Oct, 3 2011 @ 06:52 AM
A bloke walks into a fish and chip shop and asks for fish and chips twice..

The bloke serving behind the counter replies, "Alright mate, I heard you the first time."

Two eggs boiling in a saucepan of hot water. One egg says, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other egg replies, "Bloody hell a talking egg."

What's blue and white and swings through trees?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.........

posted on Oct, 25 2011 @ 12:07 PM
What do Manchester united and colonel Gaddafi have in common?
They were both murded in their own backyard this week.

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