ATS Unleashed: Joke of the Week!

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posted on Jan, 6 2015 @ 03:57 PM
I just installed a skylight in my bedroom.

Boy, the people that live upstairs are really pissed!

posted on Jan, 25 2015 @ 05:07 AM
Just because ...

posted on Feb, 2 2015 @ 04:19 PM
LOL love this tread! very light compared to the other side, which I will soon jump into again!

posted on Feb, 2 2015 @ 04:54 PM
The other night, after a few drinks, I arrived at home and accidently stuck my vehicle key in the doorknob.

My home started up. So I took it out for a spin.

I got pulled over by a police officer, he asked me where I lived.

I answered: "Right here!!"

Later I parked on the interstate and hollered at the motorists for driving on my yard.

(Steven Wright)

I live on a one way, dead end street. I have no idea how I got there.....

posted on Feb, 14 2015 @ 07:35 AM
A small anecdote:

Someone my friend knows had a pretty severe drinking problem and had gone to a lot of trouble to clean himself up. After being sober for eight months he decided to visit his mother and tell her the good news.

He stood beaming on her doorstep and, as she opened the door, proudly announced "Ma, I've been sober for 8 months"

"And?" she responded "So has the fekkin' cat"

posted on Mar, 7 2015 @ 09:18 AM
a reply to: HomerinNC

On live radio: (true story)

A company’s was using a promotion as advertisement on radio that worked as followed;

You send them your number and if drawn, they phone you back and you must guess a specific household item they chosen for the day. You got 2 minutes, can ask as many questions as you like, and they answer only Yes or No. If you guess the correct item you won one of their products.
The answer the specific day was “Salt”, but the poor woman was struggling and getting nervous as her time was running out. The radio personality decides to give her a tip;

“Miss you put it on your husbands eggs in the mornings.”
“Oh!! Baby powder”

posted on Mar, 17 2015 @ 12:13 AM
Hope this is "ok" three old friend meet up in a bar after many years all seeming to get upset when they start discussing their sons the first man says well im proud of my son but dissapointed he owns his own mercades dealership and is a millionaire but hes gay the second friend says my son is a great investor and is now a billionaire but hes also gay so i know how you feel when they look to the third friend hes grinning ear to ear he goes well my sons gay too but one of his boyfriends just gave him a new benz and the other gave him a billion dollars.

posted on May, 27 2015 @ 06:28 PM
This is hilarious stuff peeps! I have never visited this forum before but will now be a regular!!

Here goes.....What can a bird do that a man can't?

Sing with his pecker.

I am 40 something years old and to this day that is the only joke that I can remember.

posted on Jun, 29 2015 @ 04:06 AM
I have a dirty joke ......

There was a white fell in the mud

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