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I've contemplated my mortality a lot. I'm 33. Maybe it's unhealthy or not normal to do this, but I am not a normal person by any means.
Originally posted by Diluted
Afraid of Dying
I am 26 years old. My name is Jack. Living on a beautiful island in southwest Florida - finally getting my stuff together, here I am - filled with questions. Questions like most of us at ATS have (birds of a feather..)
Yet the one fear that drives me crazy, that lurks inside - is death. Dying. Whom ever made the last prediction post that was great "You're all going to die!" - made me think even more. I frequent imminst.org... (Immortality Institute) -- and basically, well. I'm afraid to die.
The thought scares me. Being a recovering addict - where I literally "Measured My Life in Milligrams" - it's rather odd I'd have no qualms taking a handful of rainbow colored pills and chasing it with malt liquor yet when a topic about a ghost or something on Coast To Coast comes on... I get scared.
Perhaps it is from my father dying at 46, me being 10 - watching the chemo, and death. Perhaps it is being an only child?
I've gone from church.. to church.. I've been baptized. The best concept I have now for this power that is greater than me I learned through a man called Bill W. who helped create the concept of "Create your own concept of God" - Emmit Fox if you will. "God is Good, God is Love, God is understanding.." - and just think those thoughts in times of anger/frustration/anxiety as that is the "Golden Key" (It has been working.)
Just imagine... laying on your death bed, at age 49 from cancer - and knowing your going to die -
What if... it is the end? That your consciousness, your memories, are gone. In a flash. The big sleep, it's as if you never existed and you can't retain your memories. Thoughts like these sometimes paralyze me to the point of... wow. Crying, and that is why... I always ask Why.
Someone best told me "You keep saying "God, show me the way and I'll go!" But God says, "Go, and I'll show you the way."
I've read so much on ATS from going to the bathing pool in the sky, to hellfire and stone if I don't worship A B OR C. I've read of the energy flowing dust to dust ashes to ashes, our energy goes not or thoughts - cryonics - we live in a simulated reality.. etc, etc.
Yet you - have you sat down and contemplated your own mortality?
If so -
How do you not get anxious over the idea of knowing - You're going to die.