Afraid Of Dying

I would say you have a gift. If this fear of death is something constant in your everyday life, use it as a reminder to live your life to the fullest every moment.

We are all going to die, and it could happen to any of us at any moment. Most of us never even think about it and waste away the hours/days/weeks/months and before we know it our life is gone and done.

The fear is understandable, anyone who thinks seriously about death will have that fear. I think it is not something you should strive to be rid of though. Embrace it, use it.

reply to post by OzWeatherman


I agree with OZ.

I don't have any issues about the thought of dying. We all perish at some point. We don't know when it occurs, and it's really terrible when it comes early leaving dreams, wishes and desires unfulfilled. Nevertheless, we have no power to change whatever happens.

I guess I don't mind death because I haven't built myself any illusions about the afterlife. I don't know what happens after we die and as such I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Sure, fading into oblivion as my grandmother thinks would suck, and so would burning in some sort of hell because I didn't believe in a specific faith. Yet, I live my life in the best possible way. I try to improve myself in positive ways. I'm not a perfect person and I dare you to point someone out that doesn't have a vice of some kind, yet I try my best.

And that's all anyone can expect of us. This is a big topic with many many many avenues of research you can go down. I'm afraid I, or anyone else here, can't ease your mind for you. This is a topic each one of us needs to confront within ourselves. I'm still trying to figure things out too!

My only advice would be to follow what feels right for you in your life and to focus on each day as it happens. I've wasted a few years of mine and now I'm trying to make up for it. I don't see it as a bad thing, it's just another stepping stone in our journey of life. Stay optimistic, realize the good in things (we like to focus on the negative or things we DON'T have) and pursue your interests.



And if all that fails, we're all here for you, buddy.

Originally posted by Robert Reynolds
You cannot account for conciousness by simply describing us in terms of a collection of inanimate particles. There is clearly more to life than it just being a chemical occurence. You cannot destroy matter or energy - why should the human spirit be an exception. NOTHING ENDS.

If you look at yourself with complete honesty and with no excuses for the wrongs you've done (not that I know if you have or haven't) and you feel remorse; and if you can find it within yourself to forgive people for their sins against you: I'm pretty certain the fear of death will leave you.

Fiction always seems to portray dying people finding that everything is put in perspective; I believe this to be true and there is no real reason why you can't obtain this perspective now. I doubt anyone will be worrying about an outstanding debt, when they're faced with leaving this entire realm.

edit on 13-11-2010 by Robert Reynolds because: (no reason given)

In that case, do you believe that insects have souls? Where do you think the insects energy goes? I say their energy goes to fuel the soil just like ours, but I am always looking for the answers if they exist. I do not have the answers, I am just really curious on it.

"no one makes it out of here alive"

I've never really been afraid of death, the pain that it could take to kill me, but not death.
Pain is temporary and everyone goes through it so we're all in this together. I overdosed once and nearly died. Ever since then I am comforted by the fact that the pain I felt terrible, but when I was done "fighting" the pain stopped and I moved on to a different place. Maybe from now on when you are thinking about it you should look up near death experiances. I bet you would find some comfort in those stories.

Lol ..afraid of dying. (scoff)

I can just see you now, looking into the sky and worrying about chemtrails, "oh my gosh, the chemtrails look worse today than yesterday!" or some other worry that you have no control over..

Don't worry about dying. There is no point. If the worries start, just try to think about something else, then before you know it (with a bit of practice) you'll be 86 years old, crapping in your pants and not knowing what day it is. You won't even know you're dying.

Your brain will be sufficiently mushed that you'll have no idea what's going on. And even if there is a little bit of thought in there - the doctors/nurses in your home will put an end to that with the pills they'll give you.

If you're fortunate enough to get hit by a bus, well - you'll not remember or feel a thing. If nuclear war breaks out - you'll not feel a thing.

If you have a terminal disease - say your goodbyes then blow your brains out.

Death is easy.

Think about it like this, everyone that has ever walked this Earth has died or is going to. What you are going to do is nothing different to anyone else. Death is part of living. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter. That's life.

Apologies about me scoffing at the start of this post - but I mean, you have to not worry about these things. Give yourself some respect for crying out loud. Respect that brain of yours. Stop feeding it junk like worries of death.

reply to post by Diluted


From my own experience as a nurse, dying is the hard part, the physical body fighting for that last breath.

Once, what is called the soul, the energy force passes - lifts out of - leaves - there is only a empty shell.

With one woman, I was leaving the room to get the head nurse and as I crossed the doorway, I felt like the air around me hugged me, a gentle pressing in and than gentle release. I think I felt her last breath and or her soul leaving?

With others I have felt a, the only good word that describes this is energy, lift out of, take leave of the physical body. With younger people the energy force seems to feel stronger compared to old people.

Now according to Einstein, energy never totally "dies" it changes form.

I lost my mother at 10 to lung cancer, she was 53. We were very lucky because she was diagnosed, operated on and passed within two weeks. There was no chemo, no radiation, no wasting away or pain, she was here one week and gone the week after.

I do not fear my own death, (dying might be a little scary as I don't like pain). I do fear the abandonment, the leaving of those loved ones that might go before me.

Death, the loss of a loved one's touch, words and presence is a real bummer.

But, I don't think we truely die or dissolve into nothingness.

I do hope when I die, I go back to the whole known as "god" and not have to go through countless incarnations and all this bs again.

One of my patients was a old lady that had celebrated her 100th birthday. The next day, I sat with her holding her hand and I said, "Well you've made it one hundred years, hopefully you'll have a lot more." She replied, "Honey, I've lived on this ball of dirt for now over a century, I am really tired and am ready to go." After she whispered this, she sighed and I felt her energy force just simply lift out and gently leave. She was indeed ready.

Each death I have witnessed was unique and different because each energy force, soul, is unique and different, but I have felt a energy force numerous times so there's more to us than this physical body.

I think we simply go from being a spiritual body trapped in a third dimensional body to being free of this flesh container and go on to another dimension.

We are all here for a purpose. Your job is to find out what that purpose is and embrace and fulfill that purpose.

I hope this helps make you feel better.

There is more to you than what is starring back at you when you look in the mirror. That body you are lugging around is just a shell, not the real you.

Enjoy each and every day you have. Live, laugh and love. Don't spend useless time hating, seeking revenge or being sad and thinking about death.

My husband's father dropped dead at 44 of a heart attack. So my husband promptly quite smoking (his father smoked), he also quite eating high cholestrol foods, started running 6 days out of 7 and saw a doctor every year. Two years ago they found a leak around his aeorta valve, this happened from when he was nine and had scarlet fever. Normally this is hard to diagnose but he simply complained about not being able to get a better running time and that comment made our doctor investigate further with more test that found the leak. So find a good doctor, do what your told and keep a mental note on your health.

He went in for open heart surgery. He is now 66 and has survived his father by 22 years. He watches his weight, does exactly what the doctor tells him and follows the protocol for optimum health.

The heart surgeon said that while he was rooting around in there, he checked over his arteries and they were cleaner than most 30 year olds..............my husband has been on cholestrol lowering medicine for years because even though he did everything recommended, he naturally had high cholestrol (many things are genetic, his father had high cholestrol).

I am 58 and have survived my mother by 5 years. I don't smoke, she did and died of lung cancer.

If you fear an early death, than keep check of what your parents and grandparents died of and stay on top of it.

Life is a precious gift. If you are lucky enough to have a pc, a roof over your head, food in your belly, a warm, dry, secure place to sleep and clean water you are quite lucky.

And who knows, by the time you hit old age, medical science may have already extended life even longer than now.

If you really fear death, don't smoke, if you have an addictive personality than don't drink or do drugs, switch that addiction to exercise, eat healthy, take vitamins, get regular medical check ups and don't take unnessary risks.

Lastly, and in my own humble opinion, I don't believe in a heaven or hell, I think we either incarnate again like progressing in school from grade to grade or go back to being a part of the whole not losing our memories or that which makes us each a unique individual, but we truely never die, our energy just changes form.

Originally posted by Diluted
Afraid of Dying

If so -

How do you not get anxious over the idea of knowing - You're going to die.

I'm pretty sure I've died quite a few times. I had one of my past lives revealed to me by a psychic that I was doing landscaping for, how I came to know her was through pure syncronicity and she's become much more involved in my life ever since, let me say that much. I'll spare the rather gorey details of my death, however what was so amazing was that I had a vision (waking nightmare, more like it) as a child that was of that exact gruesome moment. At any rate, consciousness pervades everything! Rest assured that you as an eternal soul will roam the Cosmos indefinitely!!!

I dont fear death, I can not wait to die. What I do fear is the pain of dieing. And the pain of life. I fear that there is some thing more after death. Just more pain. How can some one in heaven be free of pain when there is so much suffering going on. And the bible says you Rot in the ground until the end of days. You all forget that bit don't you! Forget all religions, just be good because you are a good person. And not to please a god. Then if you do get judged you will be ok.

The pain, the suffering, the misery, man is so evil the demons must be envious. I am so tired of it all. Let me sleep let me rest and find peace. But will there be peace? Or will I find that above is the same as below?

reply to post by ra.ra3
I've thought of that a lot recently, but never really ended up with a satisfactory answer...errrr, you've ruined my entire post now. No, hang on - they end up with us in the 'soul pool' but their souls aren't particularly significant, I mean when was the last time you ever read a first class piece of literature that's been written by an insect? When was the last time you've heard a worthwhile piece of music composed by an insect?

That's the best I can do, I'm afraid.

I am 15.
I am not afraid of death.
I would obviously choose to live, but to fear inevitable is silly.

Some words that might comfort you.

Peter Pan's war cry was: To death the ultimate the adventure.


Wasn't he the boy that lived for ever and never grew up?

reply to post by ofhumandescent


Thank you. That was a good read. I appreciate everyone so far being honest and actually taking an honest look at themselves about this situation.

I enjoyed the one person who said to use it as an advantage - everyday live to the fullest because of the fear of death -

This could go so many ways, arguing with silly nonsense about if aliens prove this or dispute that - yet, I liked how everyone has just stayed course and really answered the question of: How do you comfort your self knowing you will one day die?

Thanks all

To not give thought, and concern with regards to dying is not being human. The level in which one will 'worry' about the inevidable really comes down to how well prepared they are, not only in what they are leaving behind like friends, family, ect.. but also in coming to terms with ones own mortality. To die is to embark(for better of worse) in the most surreal, the most contemplated, and the most feared/embraced unknown known to man throughout history. It's the final ending. It's the final begining. It's the biggest kept secret everyone knows about and no one really knows about.

Death is universal, and yet it's no where. Death like life is measured by time and space, and reacts/impacts everythign else. I mean, whats not to comtemplate? Whats not to try and understand? With death being the exclimation point of your life, why would one not spend time trying to understand it? With life being the end all be all of ones death, why would you not try and steer clear of it? It's preprogramed in everyones DNA to avoid pain, injury, ect... why? To avoid death. It's as natural as life to worry about death...

Having said all of this, I would think most should be much more worried about dying inside while still living then fearing the inevidable.

Obviously, this is all my opinion but none the less a reality in my perspective of expierence in life and death.

Originally posted by human32826
reply to post by Diluted

 

The big joke of life is no body gets out alive.

I want my children to live enough to know love and happiness,...but other than that I have no fear,...."today is a good day to die." i do what i can in a day and let it go.

watched people die in front of me and have held the hand of strong men in there last moments many deaths arround me my whole life.

I am not afraid to die and be nothing if that is the case.
I am 100% all the time I can do no better than I do.
I would die to save any human and I am proud of my life.

I fear nothing except misunderstanding.

As for god I spit in the face of the BS thought of the set up of "If you love me I will let you kiss my toes for eternity ,if not you fry.
I would never set my children up as such.
I wouldn't break my childs leg to tell him not to run in the road.
god IS fear of death.

I will live to best of my ability until I die.

I will die and maybe it will be today,.....so what.

Well said and well written. Very few times do i ever read anything on ATS that resonates with me like your reply to the OP.

As far as my own advice it would be much of the same as you have written and to say that i personally have experienced the first stage of death. That unconcousness right aftere your heart stops. The enetering into that darkness. I didnt experience any bright lights or anything fro that matter but my heart was only stopped for less than a minute. Maybe i just wasnt gone long enuf. The point is that it was the most peaceful and realxing thing i have ever experienced. It felt welcome. It felt natural. I was not afraid as i knew my heart was slowing down and was going to stop. I didnt know exactly what was wrong with me but i knew what was going to happen and i was not afraid. It was the feeling of waking up. That feeling of being so perfectly still and asleep that i hated returning from. I didnt like it. I can honestly say that. I was upset if you will that i was back. At first i was amnesic from the lack of oxygen to my brain. I wasnt sure where i was or what had happened but i remember that stillness. I can recall it even now and its beautiful.

Do not fear death. For that matter do not fear anything because nothing is greater on this earth to your existence than death and if death is not to be feared then deither is anything else. This is what i learned. I used to be much like you. My fear and anxiety of my own mortality consumed me for many years. I had all sorts of symptoms associated with anxiety and it plagued me in my 20's and 30's. Now i am free of that. I am not afraid anymore and as far as my perspective on god goes, i am much like the guy i quoted here. I was once a devout christian but i started looking at the religion with a critical eye and suspicion and i am no longer a follower of the faith. What is god? I dont know. I dont even know if he exists. I also know i am not going to know definitively if he exists before i leave this earth. I am no longer consumed with finding an answer because there isnt one my friend. If there was one universal creator then there it would be the one universal answer to that great question and there would be no need for the multiple religions on the earth. The fact that there are so many people believing so many different things about god or the creator of life here says that noone knows the truth. Noone. God if he exists may have tried to express himself to mankind many times in history but we as humans have not been able to grasp the full concept of what it is and so therefore we do our very fallible best to express the meaning of god in religion. I do not knowck it to those who find comfort in it because it is a big wrnog to take hope from any man regardless of how blind they may be. What brings light to your world might be darkness to me.

As one other person said you are a searcher and if you live long enuf you will find it. It would be so nice to say such sweet things like your going to get ther eor find your path or find the rainbow etc etc but the truth of life is that some of us find it and some dont. Some die long before they do and are cutoff from enlightenment. Tragedy exists and so it may be. So with that i will say i wish you the best and hope you find what your looking for and most importantly you find the peace i have found. The peace to be ok with your mortality and not to worry about what is beyond. As far as if we just cease to exists well then the turth of that is you wont care because you wont know. Kinda like you worrying about growing up and being succesful in life before you were ever even concieved. You had and have no knowledge of a time before you were you so its doubtful you ever cared about anyting in life before you had life. Such is how it may be once you are deprived of said life. So that makes it even more important to be the best you can while your alive because once its over its truly over. ALl that will be left of you is what you leave behind. If you follow the christian way of thinking it truly doesnt matter what you do during your life so long as at some point you ask for forgiveness.

I find it comforting to work on the assumption that there is nothing more after the electrical activity in the brain ceases. If there is absolutely nothing then there is nothing to be afraid of in being dead. Don't waste any energy on it.

Its the actual 'dying' part thats scary since that involves pain. Possibly extended periods of it. Other than avoiding unnecessary physical risk and eating/exercising properly theres not much more you can do to mitigate that.

I too have gone through times in my life where I have feared death to the point that I was having panic attacks. It wasnt the thought of will I go to heaven or hell. The scary thought is what if it is lights out...nothing.
This will probably sound totally strange but I think men have a "maternal clock" so to speak and at some point we realize we're not invincible, like we used to be, and maybe its time to pass on our seed. This thought occrured to me because after I had my daughter I have no longer had the fear.
If your mind works scientifically like mine it also helps to understand that every thought you have is just a memory, if you really think about it. If its all just a memory than something has to exist beyond death for life to have been self actualized. (Hard to put that thought into words. Sorry if doesnt make sense.) In other words if it went just lights out none of this would have occured in the first place....again having trouble defining in words.
The other issue is that we are tought time is linear when this is just the way our brains percieve time. So the idea of your born, you live, you die is just a construct of your brain trying to seperate moments in exsistance in this space.
Sorry if none of this helps but I can assure you the deep fear your feeling is just a phase. It will come and go. Dont trip.

Originally posted by theWolfInsideMe

This will probably sound totally strange but I think men have a "maternal clock" so to speak and at some point we realize we're not invincible, like we used to be, and maybe its time to pass on our seed. This thought occrured to me because after I had my daughter I have no longer had the fear.

I agree. I have often thought that if we try to think of "life" as not a personal, singular entity but as a group - as a species - when we (personally) die - we have not really died because the human species lives on.

In this way, we can also say that when we reproduce - our DNA (so therefore ourselves) is passed on, and so we therefore live on through our children. Eternal life - as our DNA will be in our Grandchildrens, Grandchildrens DNA and so forth.

Sorry to mods for one liner and maybe this has been already said in different way.

If there was no death than there would be no value. Nothing you did would matter because there would be no ultimate consequince. Life would be devoid of emotion and educational value. You wouldnt truely exsist.

You wouldnt feel pain because the living organism would have no reason to develop the pain response. Conversely there would be no true enjoyment. Like a spoiled kid eventually there could be no high high enough. No moment in time, no madder how great, could be reproduced to infinity and so could hold no value.

reply to post by Robert Reynolds


I keep hearing the comment you gave. Energy does not die or disappear it stays forever.... Why shouldn't we ?

I believe energy only lives on ( pun intended ) as energy. The form it comes in will change.... Usually by some bigger energy that needs to consume smaller parts of energy... As food. The energy remains yet form gets annihilated. Why shouldn't we ?

I've never felt like a bigger chicken after a couple of chicken wings.... Do you ?

Please understand I do not criticize you, and not even this particular comment.
It's just another more logical option.

reply to post by theWolfInsideMe


Yes! Yes! YES. Death is a necessity! Without death there can't be life. Without pain there can't be true happiness - as what is there to be happy about, if all you know is good?

Sorry for being a parrot. But yeah, that's great. Star.