Just for much fun, if you were abducted by ET's tomorrow which member of ATS would you take to rep

I would take Phage. Just so I could give him that big "I TOLD YOU SO" ...

OK let's see. What we humans all have in common is that we take food in and poop it out again. Now before any of you start with the criticisms here just think for a moment how very important we are to the earth system as a whole. The planet has come to rely on us for this essential service. Yes, we make some methane and don't always keep it a secret from those in close proximity and yes we sometimes get a little carried away with our energy conversion duties by eating more than we can process in a reasonable time resulting in our being said to be "full of poopie". Those are our shortfalls. Now consider the interest that aliens may have in us and why they might very well want to take a couple of us to some far away planet that is short on fertilizer and noxious gases. They may even want to take a whole bunch of us. But don't worry because when they finally come to their senses they'll be faced with dealing with the messes that we will make in their flying saucers. OK they can load us up and then stop in Texas for a couple of steers for us to eat but they'll have to install some sewage disposal equipment too. Lastly they will have to consider the long years of cleaning up after us when they get home. Most likely they will be called morons by those others of their kind who expected some really great additions to their planetary scheme. So, they'll lose a couple of elections but they'll also be stuck with us until we die off. Ever notice how the grays don't seem to have assholes? Well, they don't. See the reason is because they have evolved to the point where they don't need them anymore. Kind of like vestigial left overs you know??? They will then realize the horror of the mistake they made in bringing humans home with them then. It is not the humans that they need but only our assholes.

So there you have it kids. So much for "advanced" aliens. Instead of ruining the lives of a couple of dozen humans and some cattle too, they only needed a large rectum. Pity, that, because Limbaugh is sooooo available....

So if any of you find that you are being abducted in the near future make sure you have a copy of this post to show your new buds. It might save your ass (no pun). They just might think you are smarter than average. Well of course. All of us on ATS are a "cut above". That goes without saying.

reply to post by trailertrash



Errrrrrr, so who you would take again?

I'd take (Steve) Crakeur, because for one he's got a good, dry and slightly warped sense of humor (which we'd likely need), and also because he's from New York and they don't take any you-know-what from anyone

reply to post by MurrayTORONTO


Actually, the surprise would be on you! Phage is actually a Reptillian Disinfo Agent sent here to keep doubt alive until the rest of the Reptillian fleet arrives to crush us under their scaly feet!

Can someone please say they would take me!!
I'm feeling really left out, it's raining outside and I've just got a load of bills through the door. I need an ego boost

I'd pick those people picking Phage thinking it would be some sort of comeuppance for him, just to watch their beliefs be shattered when they are confronted with the true nature of the aliens.

Originally posted by thedoctorswife
Ok this is just for a laugh, because theres way to much doom and gloom at the moment, say some little green men abducted you and gave you the choice of one member of ats to take with you to represent the human race, who would it be?, would it be the science bods, the ace debunkers, the volcano guys, the newest representation of christ, or maybe one of the survival guys or the deeply metaphysical peeps, sorry if this has been done before but it just popped into my head and seemed like a laugh, i'm fed up of being depressed, any ideas?

Immortalgemini527

reply to post by DoomsdayRex


Please stop d***riding phage for 5 seconds and have a little fun with this thread.

It's not comeuppance. Most picked him because he's a true skeptic and it would be humorous.

I'd pick Nosred.















....not really. I'd pick hhcore. I figure I'll need a wing man trying to pick up reptilian women.

reply to post by JustMike


much obliged and, sadly, I doubt they'd let me up for the very reason you stated - no b.s. for us noo yawkers.

If I could take any member, past or present, it would be John Lear so that the aliens would return me, keep him and leave our planet in peace, fearing there are more just like him.

If it has to be a current member, I'd take any of our lady members. If I'm going to be abducted, poked and prodded, I'm going to need someone to comfort me and cuddle afterward and, if I'm doing an interstellar sentence, I'd want a pretty lady there to keep me company.

Originally posted by Crakeur

If it has to be a current member, I'd take any of our lady members. If I'm going to be abducted, poked and prodded, I'm going to need someone to comfort me and cuddle afterward ...

Hopefully the aliens won't mind comforting you after a night of poking and prodding from the ATS ladies.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


I just want to be held. is that so wrong?

... Well I suppose that depends, ...

If they were friendly, ... I would have to take a hot ATS lady to spend time with, see the sights, ... so there are infinate possibilites there, ..... like 3.

If they were hostile, .... then I would take my old comrade double H.

... I would stuff his lifeless body full of thermonuclear explosives to rid the galaxy of this alien scurge once and for all. When I returned to earth I would honor his memory while simultaneously taking full credit for our mission. Basking in glory for the rest of my life, each night I would take a beautiful, sensual woman home, .... as I have my way with her, ..... hoping that someway, ... somehow, ..... doubleH is right there, just beyond sight, voyeuring his sweet little heart out.

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
If they were hostile, .... then I would take my old comrade double H.

... I would stuff his lifeless body full of thermonuclear explosives to rid the galaxy of this alien scurge once and for all. When I returned to earth I would honor his memory while simultaneously taking full credit for our mission. Basking in glory for the rest of my life, each night I would take a beautiful, sensual woman home, .... as I have my way with her, ..... hoping that someway, ... somehow, ..... doubleH is right there, just beyond sight, voyeuring his sweet little heart out.

Meanwhile, back in reality...

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


lol ... ???

None of this thread is based in reality !!

Don't be upset because your body isn't the one getting stuffed.

Jealousy does not become us.

Bah all this Phage bashing.... when the truth is that he's probably the only cat on this planet who'd know how to drive a UFO in the first place. Alien chicks would totally dig Phage and his giant brain.

And to make amends, for an earlier slight.... OS, after WUK destroyed the alien culture with his political mind jobbery, you'd be on hand to debate them into believing that they need to dedicate their lives into baking and shipping us cookies. Gold cookies with platinum stripes.

Without you our plan for world domination would be totally incomplete!

Although I haven't quite thought through how to get rid of WUK afterwards... He's tyrannical and stuff... Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it...

~Heff

God damn it this is getting just like my old school PE lessons, once again I get left behind with the Fat kids and that one guy with asthma and a wonky leg

reply to post by davespanners


Jugdesh, Mohammed and Lonny?

reply to post by davespanners


I'd also take davespanners. He's always got something funny to say and on a trip like that, a sense of humor would be a plus.


-TheAssoc.