An Honest Look Into Suicide, Near Death Experiences, and the Afterlife

CaticusMaximus
That is an extremely comforting idea and sounds a bit like something called "The law of attraction" Is there any relation to that if you've heard of it? And what has given you these conclusions? I like what you said and would definitely like you to elaborate on your reasoning behind this.

This is my first response to anything on this site as I am new here. I have read the OP and can empathize. I don't know what happens when we die and I am not a religious person having never been raised religiously. I do understand the suicidal thoughts and how strong they can be. I have attempted suicide a few times myself. I am not proud of those attempts but like you I also could justify why I should end my life. I deluded myself into believing my family and children would be better off without me because with me around I was/am making their lives somewhat miserable and worse.

I have also been hospitalized more times than I can remember due to the extreme suicidal thoughts. At one point I was so stuck in my "thoughts" I realized I could not even take a break from myself and that led to more suicidal thoughts. I believe being suicidal can become and addiction in and of itself.

I want to tell you to get help for yourself, but at the same time I understand if you choose not to. I don't know your exact reasoning and why you choose suicide over life. I know the reasons for my own choices. I know if I end my life I leave behind people who will always blame themselves such as my children. I am a single mother and all they have at this point in their lives.

Feeling suicidal is all encompassing, a feeling of engulfment and deep desire for annihilation of the self. I know many of my reasons for wanting to commit suicide are this:

This life is hell.
There seems to be no escape from this life except through death.
Being an empath, I struggle with not only feeling my own pain but deeply feeling the pain of others so much so that sometimes I cannot stand to leave my home, watch television, or interact with people at all because their pain affects me so deeply it aches in a very physical way deep in my core.

There is not enough space to describe the culmination of events in my life that lead me to become suicidal and most wouldn't probably care to hear or understand unless they too have felt the feeling of being suicidal.

I do hope you talk to other people about this before making your decision. Once you make the decision and take the actions to end your life you cannot reverse it. Perhaps this is the reason that keeps me alive.

I do know there are people in this world who do care even when if feels like no one does and sometimes like no one even notices our existence.

I encourage you to find a way to deal with these all consuming thoughts. I have found writing to be very therapeutic. I journal on a daily basis as well as doing a lot of creative writing. For me it is very cathartic.

I hope you find some meaning in your life and suicide may or may not be the answer. It is not up to me to judge you in any way. Before you do make the final decision give yourself a little extra time and you may notice as I have that emotions come in waves and sometimes are so intense I feel as though I might drown in those waves, but there are also the times in life when the waves of emotions recede and I think clearly and can examine why I might want to end my life at all.

I suppose what I am trying to say in this very lengthy response is give yourself more time before you make a decision that has a very final result in which there is no coming back from.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I seem to be here quite a bit lately and am more than willing to listen and help if there is anyway I can.

Peace and love to you!

ALL OF MY "LOVE" to the OP.

What would you say to a (non-drug taking, teetotal, completely well illness wise) person walking along minding their own business when a REAL hole appears in the clouds and a light beam of glory shining down from HEAVEN above and that person saying "For God's Sake GOD! I don't wanna go yet! My family and partner would NOT be happy! Plus, I want to tell the WORLD that YOU really do exist! A few minutes later, GOD must have said okay you can stay - and he clears off? HE came for ME! I didn't ASK, but I'M AWFUL GLAD THAT HE PUT IN AN APPEARANCE! Many years later the OPPOSITE realm came for me and THAT didn't succeed either!

However, I've got ONE-UP on the BOTH OF EM' cos I've now got BOTH their POWERS! They sort of rubbed off on me! Ha, ha! I was ACTIVELY in pursuit of them BEFORE they happened! Be careful what you wish for ALL on ATS!

Originally posted by ColbyNathan
CaticusMaximus
That is an extremely comforting idea and sounds a bit like something called "The law of attraction" Is there any relation to that if you've heard of it? And what has given you these conclusions? I like what you said and would definitely like you to elaborate on your reasoning behind this.

Thanks, and sure I will elaborate. Ill preface it all though by saying this is just my personal perspective that Ive formed over my lifetime. I dont believe in much objectivity in metaphysical things; aside from a couple basic, simple laws, everything else is fluid. Thus all beliefs are the correct ones, and it really is our choice were to go.

Yeah Ive heard of the law of attraction, and it is similar to what Im saying. Essentially, at its most basic, it IS the "law of attraction" in the most strictest sense, but not in the normal way thought about it, as I understand it, which is that if you think of something hard enough, itll become reality (Ala "the secret"). Upon thought responsive planes, thats true. Whatever you think you will immediately manifest. But in the physical, its tougher than that. The principle is essentially sound, but in the physical we all have so much shielded subconscious baggage, that little of the time are we consciously thinking about what we REALLY want. Most of our thoughts are kind of like bubbling ups from our subconscious, but those are not purely thoughts we control. Most are just rehashments and processings of what weve recently accumulated in our minds.

So yes and no, depending on how you look at it.

I came to my current conclusions just by looking at how things operate as objectively as possible, without trying to fit the evidence to any specific theory. Reports of NDEs and OBEs really helped me with this, because there is hardly any consistent information in these reports. One thing that is consistent however, is that the persons beliefs inevitably shaped what they saw. Christians see Jesus, Jews see Moses, atheists with nagging doubts find a great void, then Jesus to pull them out of it, hardcore atheists see nothing, pagans see the summerland, etc (those who see different than what they thought they would, I believe are telling the truth from a conscious stand point. From a subconscious one, I think they all have seen exactly what they were expecting).

From that consistency, its easy for me to see that reality is no where near as static and rigid as Western materialism would have society think it is, at least in regards to the Astral (spirit world) and above.

A major part of my perspective is from actually having been consciously out of body as well. Im far from a master or even an adept, but even one, single conscious OBE is all it takes even the most doubting to never doubt the persistence of consciousness again. I highly recommend it for all people

As for our sovereignty, property and what constitute it has to be brought up. IMO, you only own what you are, and since you are you, and no one else is, you own you, so to speak, and it cannot ever be any other way. Thus by extension, everything you, the spirit, manifests, is yours as well to do with as you please. Anything intrinsic to you, if yours, including your life, which you have absolute and final say over at all times.

Its really about taking responsibility.

Theres a lot of feeling something is right, too. Theres never going to be "proof" of anything being objective, as all proof is subjective anyway. I encourage everyone to believe whatever feels right and best to them. If you want to believe in fear and damnation and spiritual enslavement, choose an abrahamic religion Love nature? Be a pagan. Or just make it up as you go along, like many do, myself included.

Thats all just my opinion, of course

CaticusMaximus. That was extremely well written, clear. And intelligent. Thanks for that! i think that's a huge contribution to this thread. I agree with you 100%

I want to kill myself all the time, I'm not a desperate person, far from it, but the conditions here on earth can bring a soul down, try to remember your unique and special purpose here, that can be really helpful.

Good luck to you on your journey my friend.

Slide

a reply to: ThichHeaded

I came here to read, but need to know how you're doing 6 years later?
I hope you're still alone my friend.
I relate so much with your OP & I've had many attempts myself in the past, & am pretty sure I won't try it ever again, but it does cross the mind often.
I research everything I can about the whole process of dying & NDE's.
I've felt like this for the majority of my life, even as a child. I've gone to counseling, therapy, individual, group, been on anti depressants and off, I never saw a difference.
But I'm gonna keep plucking away until I go naturally or whatever else it is that's got my name and d/o/d written on it.
I have a husband and a 6 year old son. I have a grown daughter.
I would hurt them so much, I can't take that with me and truly believe I'll rest on peace. For every action, there's a reaction.
I believe that in here to raise this little boy. He's just 6 years old.
He's actually my grandson, but our daughter was young and selfish. More selfish than young imo.
Anyway my husband and I adopted him. So it's my responsibility to give him the life he deserves. Now if I could only figure out how to be the mother he deserves, that would be great!