Suicide And The Aftermath.

reply to post by Chinesis


Actually I did, quoted here.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
reply to post by Chinesis

 

Because the CT side of me is going to take over if I respond to you..
I thank you for posting what you did, but there are some things I dont understand.. Thats all.. I will leave it at that..

I do not want to derail this thread and would like it to stay on topic..

I said i do not want to get into this futher, I put this thread up for people who are thinking have thought and will think about suicide, maybe this thread will change thier minds..

People have reached out to me and are giving me help or something... I am doing the best i can.. In the end it will be me who decides what my fate shall be.. whether to live forever or die tomorrow...

In the end it is my choice. This thread is not only about me, if you have something to say share it with everyone so someone who is screwed up as bad as I am can see what you have to say...

Ok?

reply to post by ThichHeaded

Asberger's people have this issue constantly.. They can not be around people, they wear sunglasses so people do not see thier eyes, day or night(this is me)

hmmmmm..... thanks for sharing, my friend i had known some persons, who'd not have lived among society due to different causes, they came to live in Siberia alone

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
reply to post by TheOracle

 

You are wrong, I heard in japan and chinese there is a higher rate of suicide than in the US.. probably china cause there are 4 times more people but still.. There is more people who suicide there than here.

yes and the reason is they try to become a society like ours, they forget their own old values and adopt our economy based on never stopping production, without any feeling for the person down in the machine ...
know the film " KOYANISKASKI " ?????? (or something written like that ..... )
look at this film, fantastic fantastic fantastic and your eyes will open or re-open again ......
do it ! please. Super music, super images, super brain washing power !!!
it's Koyaanisqatsi !

www.youtube.com...

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
reply to post by Chinesis

 

Actually I did, quoted here.

Originally posted by ThichHeaded
reply to post by Chinesis

 

Because the CT side of me is going to take over if I respond to you..
I thank you for posting what you did, but there are some things I dont understand.. Thats all.. I will leave it at that..

I do not want to derail this thread and would like it to stay on topic..

I said i do not want to get into this futher, I put this thread up for people who are thinking have thought and will think about suicide, maybe this thread will change thier minds..

People have reached out to me and are giving me help or something... I am doing the best i can.. In the end it will be me who decides what my fate shall be.. whether to live forever or die tomorrow...

In the end it is my choice. This thread is not only about me, if you have something to say share it with everyone so someone who is screwed up as bad as I am can see what you have to say...

Ok?

PLEASE READ THIS:

I missed that post, sorry about that.
People reach out to you because guess what?
There are good people all around you.

As to your comment "I am doing the best I can"
I don't think that is true, and if you feel that way ok.

You're right.
It is YOU who chooses your path, who chooses to see the glass full, or empty.
Don't forget that.


How can one understand something if they don't want to be enlightened about it?


One last thing.
You are not as "screwed up" as you think you are and I understand the reasoning
behind the fact you don't want to go line for line and address the questions I posed to you.

You're not ready to stop being unappreciative and well, I can't help you any farther
than this because you've drawn the line in defense of your state of being/mind as it is currently.

Take care and remember...
You're NEVER truly alone.
There are people alive right now that wish they were alone because they don't
want to put up with all the *BS* their surrounding peers bring them lol

Smile often.
Take deep breathes and see how good it feels.
Go to a pet store and play with the animals there.

If you want I can even send you a link (I've created) to teach you
how to play the piano...

Good luck man, we are all thinking about you and care!

thanks man that was awesome

The posts have been very interesting...and there is some crap advice and some bloody good advice.
Suicide is about control...ultimately..at the end of the day its the only control we have in our lives..we can cash our chips in when we feel we have had enough...BUT...IMHO...you must exhaust every avenue, allow time, put a lot of work in to any solution..you have to ..because if you don't...your time in this realm has been meaningless.

In this life I believe you have to have some balls..so much going on, some people can be #s..in fact the world can be #...but every avenue must be exhausted...

Another poster put how hard it was for some people ..walking so far just to get water..that is a crap life...but they did it just to survive...

I know of parents that have taken pills in front of their kids ..just to make them do as they were told...a man that loved his wife of twenty five years and she died of cancer and he had nothing to look forward to ..the devastation and loss to this mans life and he did the deed..twice..
ff thei
There are those in my experience that had a real reason..and those that really didn't get of their arses and try to do something..exhaust the possibilties.

Then there is the mental health...that one is tricky...see ..the thing is.. even in mental health there is an inbuilt survival instinct..just that generally they have a history and the trick cyclists know them ..so they get help...and in my experience not that many get to the stage they do the deed....
Its the more or less thinkers that do it...and they can think clearer at times to work out strategies...

But think on this!!

Pearly gates/life review/tunnel of light.
You arrive
St Peter/whatever

St Peter/whatever!": Hello Tom..what you doing here>
Tom: Had enough..couldn't cope
St Peter/whatever: Oh!! why that then..you chose this life
Tom: got really hard people are such #s
St Peter/whatever: What did you do to make a difference?
Tom: well I tried a few times ..but after a while I thought whats the point...no bugger gives a toss
St Peter/whatever:.Well its not really your time..you were sent for a purpose...did you try to find it?
Tom: I got sick of trying..its so bloody hard..felt like I was banging my head agaist a steel wall?
St Peter/whatever:..aye !! its a bugger that ..but you knew it was going to be a struggle..but you chose to learn certain lessons in this life.
Tom: So what happens now ...do I get the cigar?
St Peter/whatever: Afraid not..you didn't stick around long enough...back to square one!!
WHOOSH!!...and a baby cries..to start a new life as Tom..to go through the same crap ..but hang on..stick in there and learn...

St Peter/whatever: Ahh!! your back ...how did it go on your return!!
Tom:..it was crap lol but there was one person ..that I know I made a difference to...and it was one small thing!!

trust in jesus he is the only way OUT

Its one of those things to ponder to me...you can believe in jack ....BUT what if?
What if?...and what if you have to come back and do it all again....Try to get it right this time..make an effort....as a human being we have ultimate control ..our life is ours ..to do with as we please, lose it, waste it or use it! as a mortal being ..we do have ultimate choice!

Its the What if? that is a real bugger!!

sometimes it makes me think suicide is like Microsoft blue screen of death : what does it help to take your expensive PC and throw it out of the window ??? better is to try to fix it yourself or go ask other people to help you make it work again ....
it's all about looking around to find solutions, there are ALWAYS solutions, it can take a lot of time to fix the sh*t but it will be fixed !!! TRY TRY TRY --- ASK ASK ASK for help but do not crash your PC/life out of the 25° floor ... just a image, just a image ... peace.

The aftermath of suicide is horrid! To live with the most terrifying possibility for how surviving family members might manage their painful emotions - like an elusive darkness that's lurking nearby. You can run, but you cannot hide! We are each hyper-vigilant in our reaction to each others welfare. Three family members committed suicide within a 12 year span. These were people that would have appeared to others as being high functioning individuals. The truth is that mood altering substances like alcohol, pain medications, and drugs like Xanax, make it possible for a person to carry out this act quickly, almost impulsively, in response to their pain.

Knowing the impact that suicide will have on their own surviving family members' lives will not prevent you or anyone else from following through with this act. You only know your own pain, and are only looking for relief. A spiritual awakening, NOT any particular doctrine of faith, is the path to finding a different way of thinking. It improves an individual's attitude and behavior, and enriches life beyond measure.

I'm haunted by my complete inability to have provided a solution to their pain, and the depth of what they were feeling when they made their choice. To know how unrelenting, agonizing, and hopeless they must have felt - why couldn't I have the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding they needed to heal their heart and soul?!

Accepting my powerlessness over managing another life, finding a power greater than myself that brings meaning and purpose into my own life, and living each day with compassion, love, forgiveness and hope are the rich beginnings of living in the aftermath of suicide.

Originally posted by shuck
Its one of those things to ponder to me...you can believe in jack ....BUT what if?

This is not a problem for me, I have done enough research to know there IS.. That is why I have not done it yet.. Because WHAT IF i get stuck in the situation where I am repeating my suicide over and over.. WHAT IF I am stuck begging for forgiveness of people I hurt.. WHAT IF god yells at me for be being stupid by suiciding.

See alot of WHAT IF..

What if?...and what if you have to come back and do it all again....Try to get it right this time..make an effort....as a human being we have ultimate control ..our life is ours ..to do with as we please, lose it, waste it or use it! as a mortal being ..we do have ultimate choice!

Its the What if? that is a real bugger!!

This WHAT IF is better than the above..
This is where you have to do it over again and make a different decisions that you screwed up on in the 1st place..
I think my 1st big screw up was beating my dad with a base ball bat for an action he did to my sister.. I ended up getting thrown out of the house and never finished school.. Till today i still dont have a high school education.. Proud to say everything I know i learned on my own..(145iq they say)

So one of the changes i would change is i would suck up the part where i felt i had to kick karma in the ass and beat my father because she was not doing her job right..

Then from that action it would change my life so I cant say what would happen after that..

my bro has tried to commit sucicied a few times. AT first i was sad, but now it has happened 3 times and seeing wat it has done to my parents and the fact he wont go get any help from anyone.. Yes i think hes a coward. # we all have problems in life, we get the cards we get. But if it goes wrong and your not strong enough you get help. Thats not a weakness. Weakness is when you wont go get help or even say you got a problem.
Really i am pissed with him now. It sounds harsh but its the truth

kx

reply to post by ThichHeaded


We all make mistakes ..part of the human condition but only the fool does not learn from learn from mistakes.

A long time ago I was told

Once is unlucky
Twice is coincidence
Three times you have pushed your luck!!

The mistakes we make in this life are not always mistakes..sometimes we do things that we feel on reflection were not mistakes...sometimes they are an action enacted out of frustration, anger, but were done for the right reason....

Also guilt ..now guilt is a real bugger..but...its recognising it ...realising what was wrong .then walking on!!

reply to post by shuck


The action I took against my dad was not wrong, it was revenge for an action he took.. actually serval actions over the years in my younger life.. I just paid him back for the bs he caused us...

But that 1 action I did cause alot of problems in my life that i cant fix or take back... So what i am saying on what you said is if suicide was a reset... I would take the action back of beating my father...

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Most people that will reply to this thread are "normal". They have the possibility of growing up, finding a significant other, getting some type of employment and becoming useful, productive and independent.

My sister in law's son, was 19 when he sat down on a highway in front of a oncoming semi truck and ended his life of 19 years the day after Thanksgiving many years ago.

I remember the mortician telling us, you can look at him, but don't touch him. (He was pieced together).

How did this affect the family? Why did he do it? What was he like? Why?

Most of my husband's family ignored him, they didn't know how or want to deal with someone that was autistic and schizophrenic. My nephew in law's death, as far as I am aware, did not affect my husband's family, if anything, it was a relief because it was one less "problem" or "responsibility" they did not have to think about or handle. A part of my heart was cut out the day we got the phone call of his untimely death.

Did you know, that you could name any place on earth and ___ could tell you the latitude and longitude and how to get to that place? He studied maps to the point where he literally was a walking GPS before we had GPS's.

Yet, something was 'broke" within his brain, he had trouble communicating his thoughts.

Why did he do it? He did not fit it. All humans need to feel "connected" to "fit in" we humans are a herd animal, it is in our very nature and DNA structure. That is why it is so important for everyone reading this to be nice, your words and actions can hurt someone as readily as any sword or gun. We tend to shun, ignore or shy away from those that have the misfortune of being born, less than perfect.

It starts quite young. In first grade, when my grand daugher came over to visit one day she said, "I was voted the second prettiest girl in the class and I get to eat with the popular girls"(first grade)........looks are so non important, yet if someone doesn't "look" or "act" the way the herd dictates, they are ostracized.

My nephew, had before he took his life, tried to get a job at McDonalds, and was rejected. Tried to talk to and interact with a girl at a bus stop and was really rejected. Tried to get a ride to see his father in California (who actually rejected him). He tried his whole 19 years to be "accepted" and was rejected.

The rejection and realization that he would "never fit in" and have a normal life is what really killed him.

People replying to this will judge, they will judge on the basis of non empathy thinking everyone is like them. If you look relatively normal and can get along with at least a few people, can get a job, can find a significant other or have just one friend, you are lucky.

How did this affect his mother, my dear beloved sister in law and her wonderful, sensitive daugher, his sister?

We secretly do not even speak his name or mention that he existed for fear of rekindeling a heart ache that has taken many years to heal over. They both loved him dearly. but, in this particular case, it was a relief because __ had no chance what so ever of having a normal, happy life. He was a beautiful lifeforce trapped in a screwed up body. He got the $hit end of the stick genetically.

Suicide. In most cases is not a good idea. You leave behind people you are not aware of with the burden of having lost you.

Possibly you have to come back and "re do" the life again your soul agreed to take on before this incarnation.

But, who knows?

Maybe some suicides are a failure on the part of everyone else in their life failing to reach out and make that person feel welcomed or cherished, maybe their purpose was to teach us that we are all unique and to be cherished, even "the odd ones".

I had the luck of being born "pretty" but watched (and this is a taboo subject more than sex) the "ugly ones" treated like dirt. People don't want to admit it, but we do go by looks and how well someone is able to "fit in".

We see with our eyes and not our hearts.

Again, everyone replying to this thread comes to the discussion with their own experiences. Mine was very bitter sweet. ___ is gone but never forgotten in my heart.

My husband and I use to enjoy going over most Saturday nights and play games with ___, his sister and my sister in law. We tried to show ___ that we loved and enjoyed being with him.

If you are contemplating suicide, please get some type of counseling. They have a lot of medicines now that can calm and straighten your thinking.

Talk to someone. Someone else mentioned a book, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's an excellent book. I got a free copy at 4shared dot com. Please come back to ATS and let us know your thoughts, sometimes expressing them helps. U2U me if you want. Please do not leave us, we need you. You may have a purpose you are not aware of yet.

If you are young, part of it could be hormones, I remember it is such a rough period. If I could go back to being young again, I think I would pass. It was a very difficult time for me.

What appears to be a bad period now, will pass, I promise you. Give it time and try to reach out to your parents, a teacher, a counselor.

There are free "encounter groups" in most major cities that you can join and once a week go to, just to express yourself and maybe connect with someone.

I believe we all came here to this time and place for a reason and have a profound purpose, each of us. It is your job to find out what that purpose is.

Some are here to lead, some are here to teach us how to be patient and kind. We are all here for a purpose. We are all important.

I think if most people tried to be more kind, more gentle with everyone they deal with, there would be fewer suicides.

Never call someone a retard, or ugly or stupid.........never. That is mean and dark.

No, they may not be as pretty or smart as you, it's all a matter of luck. People that are mean or callous to others really upset me because often times, they think they made it all on their own when it was simply being born with "good genes". Looks, brains, IQ, being able to manipulate people to get what you need/want, it's all a matter of having been born with the "right" genetic abilities and then some luck thrown in for good measure.

I remember growing on a farm. We had a bunch of chicks born, one was malformed, it lived but looked odd, it's beak was crooked and one wing was shriveled up. A few days later, the other chicks peeked it to death. Grandpa said, "that is the way the animal kingdom works, it weeds out the odd ones".

Mankind likes to set himself up above the other animals we share this planet with..........but in reality most of us do exactly the same thing to those that have the misfortune and bad luck to be born, "a little odd'.

To those that are "odd" celebrate your oddness. (God, I'm Aquarius how odd can that be!)

The world would be so borning if everyone was like a Barbie and Ken doll. And everyone acted like the mindless cheerleaders and jocks we all tried to emulate in high school.

We need "the odd ones" they make life exciting and are the very ones that often times can "think outside the box".

I hope this reaches someone, anyone and tomorrow, Monday when you go to work or school, please remember, just a smile, just a friendly hello can mean so much to someone.

One of my favorite movies is Forest Gump. The movie says so much about how we should be treating each other and looking at a person for how they are vs how they look and how intellegent they come off.

"We need to be kinder to each other. Love is the answer, everything else is an illusion"......David Icke

Good luck to the OP, please keep in touch and you do have a family here on ATS. There are so many wonderful people here that will simply sit back and listen to you.

Let us know why you feel you want to end your life. Are you old or young? God, if you are young, to be young, you have a whole long life ahead of you with adventures and opportunities.

Try to really dwell on the good stuff, for now, don't worry about the world and the dark stuff. Try to, like a horse with blinders, try to concentrate on the positive. You must be good at something. You must have a passion for something? Throw yourself into it.

Lastly. Maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, homeless shelter, old folks home, anywhere that will get you out and thinking about and helping others. I never feel so good as when I am helping another person, it's a magical potion no money can buy. Meeting people less fortunate than you, forging a relationship with those that have been through hell and back can be quite inspiring.

Best of luck and may you find peace.

I stand by my comments:


from: fathersforlife.org...

Western countries are on top indeed.

For Russia, Ukraine and Lithuania it can be explained by the collapse of the USSR, the extreme poverty brought by capitalism and the ravages of narcotics and alcohol. And before the coming of capitalism suicide rates where very low. I speak of experience being ethnic russian.

Japan and China have quite huge numbers because their notion of honor is particular. They will suicide for failing exams or losing a job.China is feeling the effects of their rising capitalist economy
There is no data for Africa it is true, but one can guess it to be closer to latin america numbers, which are quite low.

This disaster can be easily linked to culture and the economy

According to the World Health Organisation depression affects 340 million people worldwide and is the leading cause of disability. They warn that depression will escalate from the fourth greatest cause of death to the equal biggest cause of death in the Western world by 2020. Already we have seen a phenomenal increase in the suicide rates among the young. In the USA there was a 243% increase in youth suicide (14-25 year old males) from 1960 to 1985.

source: www.leader-values.com...

And it's getting worse:

In Canada, suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people aged 15-24 (after accidental injuries) and the third leading cause among children aged 10-14. Doctors have recently noticed the onset of depression at earlier ages than before, “Ten to fifteen years ago, it would be very common for these things to be on-setting around age 17, 18, or 19,” says Dr. Marshall Korenblum, chief psychiatrist at Toronto Hincks-Dellorest centre for children, “Now we’re seeing it in 13, 14, and 15 year-olds, and it’s more severe than it used to be”.

Our culture is killing our children.

Forgive yourself!! You did the best you could trying to protect your sister in a situation that you were most likely not prepared to deal with.

Life is more than just trying to "suck it up". No situation is ever hopeless. What is lost can be restored with a change of attitude and perspective. Don't anchor yourself in the darkness of despair. Remaining entrenched in self-hatred, bitterness, and anguish will keep you living in the past.

Experience fully what you're feeling from the past, learn the lesson, and then let it go. Find a mentor, someone that has qualities that you admire. Find strength in the God of your understanding.

Remember that you can't change your thinking with your own best thinking!

Originally posted by v3_exceed
Suicide is natural selection at its finest. Less of the self absorbed, whining, "poor me" group. More space and resources for the rest of society. When you self terminate you should expect people will ridicule your memory, why would you care? Do you really think funerals are for the deceased?

I have had plenty of relatives suicide, they were idiots. They never saw those few pleasures we earn in life. Seeing our grand kids, being there to help guide the young through the experience hard won within our own lives. Even the few good things that life begrudgingly sends our way are being tossed aside by these people.

I can't say how "tough" these other peoples lives were or were not. I know that it has been my experience that the people killing themselves aren't worth the time it takes to think about them. Everybody's life is tough. Everybody's life is painful. Sure it would be great if it wasn't, but it's up to each one of us to take up the effort to change things. Imagine if Edison said, "Damn it's dark, I'll just kill myself, so I don't have to fall down in this dark world."

..Ex

This was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been drinking all day and wondering why the heck I'm still around, thinking it's for others who insist they "need" me, torturing myself over every failed attempt because something or someone always rescues me at the eleventh hour and I'd take it as a sign. But a sign of what? That maybe I'll have a few good days before the wheel spins around again and I'm back in the same hell I thought I'd left behind? I always wanted to have someone tell me I'm not necessary, that it wouldn't matter if I left, just so I'm free of the obligation to exist just to make another person happy, regardless of what it does to me. I won't say I want people to ridicule my memory because I'd rather people forget I ever existed, but that's their choice if they do. At least I won't be weighed down with concern for others anymore. Life goes on - I'm living proof (funny thing, that) - I married two guys who ultimately took their own lives, one in my late teens and one 4 years ago, and I got over it. I barely remember what they looked like, or the sound of their voices, and I'm not even 40 yet. In the end we're nothing more than vague memories anyway.

reply to post by daisyglaze


I agree with your statement here..

"I barely remember what they looked like, or the sound of their voices, and I'm not even 40 yet. In the end we're nothing more than vague memories anyway."

That is why I wonder why people give a crap, It is my life to choose to do with what i feel like.. Suicide or skydiving naked from an airplane.. either way.. its my choice..

The only way people would remember me is by the short blip in the newspaper saying Thichheaded was and idiot and suicided his viewing is bla bla at bla bla..

After that people give a crap for a couple weeks, a couple months, they still give somewhat who you were.. 2 yrs.. its just a faded memory.. This is my observation of others when someone has died around them.. I studied this a few times and seen each instance the same in everyone that i was near from the monment of death to about 2 to 4 yrs later.. after 10 yrs they will say TH who?

The only real thing that keeps me around is digital crap that i have spread all over the internet, from all my posts here to all my art everywhere else.. In the end I would be just 1 tiny pixel that nobody cared about exept the second they seen some post i made about melted cars on 9/11 to that kick ass sunset i took a shot of, to that room i did in 3d that still ganks people into thinking it was real..

After they leave those areas it is business as usual, maybe stopping for a second to think about what i have said or have done in my life here..

This is what life boils down to.. But I suppose suicides are special in some peoples eyes, they get to be remembered as the screw ups that made people wonder why.. any memory after 10 yrs is a good memory i suppose...

reply to post by ThichHeaded
I can only speak from my own experience,I have had many family members commit suicide the pain for the ones left is beyond words,pain,.....guilt you have that you think somehow you could have stopped it.how could they not see the beauty in life?Your left with the thought of never knowing why.Some people try to kill themselves and don't succeed, other do it right the first time.If you understood the pain it causes those who are left behind you wouldn't play this game of life and death.........its selfish because you play with your loved ones emotions.............shame on you!