reply to post by ThichHeaded
Most people that will reply to this thread are "normal". They have the possibility of growing up, finding a significant other, getting some type of
employment and becoming useful, productive and independent.
My sister in law's son, was 19 when he sat down on a highway in front of a oncoming semi truck and ended his life of 19 years the day after
Thanksgiving many years ago.
I remember the mortician telling us, you can look at him, but don't touch him. (He was pieced together).
How did this affect the family? Why did he do it? What was he like? Why?
Most of my husband's family ignored him, they didn't know how or want to deal with someone that was autistic and schizophrenic. My nephew in law's
death, as far as I am aware, did not affect my husband's family, if anything, it was a relief because it was one less "problem" or "responsibility"
they did not have to think about or handle. A part of my heart was cut out the day we got the phone call of his untimely death.
Did you know, that you could name any place on earth and ___ could tell you the latitude and longitude and how to get to that place? He studied maps
to the point where he literally was a walking GPS before we had GPS's.
Yet, something was 'broke" within his brain, he had trouble communicating his thoughts.
Why did he do it? He did not fit it. All humans need to feel "connected" to "fit in" we humans are a herd animal, it is in our very nature and DNA
structure. That is why it is so important for everyone reading this to be nice, your words and actions can hurt someone as readily as any sword or
gun. We tend to shun, ignore or shy away from those that have the misfortune of being born, less than perfect.
It starts quite young. In first grade, when my grand daugher came over to visit one day she said, "I was voted the second prettiest girl in the class
and I get to eat with the popular girls"(first grade)........looks are so non important, yet if someone doesn't "look" or "act" the way the herd
dictates, they are ostracized.
My nephew, had before he took his life, tried to get a job at McDonalds, and was rejected. Tried to talk to and interact with a girl at a bus stop
and was really rejected. Tried to get a ride to see his father in California (who actually rejected him). He tried his whole 19 years to be
"accepted" and was rejected.
The rejection and realization that he would "never fit in" and have a normal life is what really killed him.
People replying to this will judge, they will judge on the basis of non empathy thinking everyone is like them. If you look relatively normal and can
get along with at least a few people, can get a job, can find a significant other or have just one friend, you are lucky.
How did this affect his mother, my dear beloved sister in law and her wonderful, sensitive daugher, his sister?
We secretly do not even speak his name or mention that he existed for fear of rekindeling a heart ache that has taken many years to heal over. They
both loved him dearly. but, in this particular case, it was a relief because __ had no chance what so ever of having a normal, happy life. He was a
beautiful lifeforce trapped in a screwed up body. He got the $hit end of the stick genetically.
Suicide. In most cases is not a good idea. You leave behind people you are not aware of with the burden of having lost you.
Possibly you have to come back and "re do" the life again your soul agreed to take on before this incarnation.
But, who knows?
Maybe some suicides are a failure on the part of everyone else in their life failing to reach out and make that person feel welcomed or cherished,
maybe their purpose was to teach us that we are all unique and to be cherished, even "the odd ones".
I had the luck of being born "pretty" but watched (and this is a taboo subject more than sex) the "ugly ones" treated like dirt. People don't want to
admit it, but we do go by looks and how well someone is able to "fit in".
We see with our eyes and not our hearts.
Again, everyone replying to this thread comes to the discussion with their own experiences. Mine was very bitter sweet. ___ is gone but never
forgotten in my heart.
My husband and I use to enjoy going over most Saturday nights and play games with ___, his sister and my sister in law. We tried to show ___ that we
loved and enjoyed being with him.
If you are contemplating suicide, please get some type of counseling. They have a lot of medicines now that can calm and straighten your thinking.
Talk to someone. Someone else mentioned a book, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's an excellent book. I got a free copy at 4shared dot com.
Please come back to ATS and let us know your thoughts, sometimes expressing them helps. U2U me if you want. Please do not leave us, we need you.
You may have a purpose you are not aware of yet.
If you are young, part of it could be hormones, I remember it is such a rough period. If I could go back to being young again, I think I would pass.
It was a very difficult time for me.
What appears to be a bad period now, will pass, I promise you. Give it time and try to reach out to your parents, a teacher, a counselor.
There are free "encounter groups" in most major cities that you can join and once a week go to, just to express yourself and maybe connect with
I believe we all came here to this time and place for a reason and have a profound purpose, each of us. It is your job to find out what that purpose
Some are here to lead, some are here to teach us how to be patient and kind. We are all here for a purpose. We are all important.
I think if most people tried to be more kind, more gentle with everyone they deal with, there would be fewer suicides.
Never call someone a retard, or ugly or stupid.........never. That is mean and dark.
No, they may not be as pretty or smart as you, it's all a matter of luck. People that are mean or callous to others really upset me because often
times, they think they made it all on their own when it was simply being born with "good genes". Looks, brains, IQ, being able to manipulate people
to get what you need/want, it's all a matter of having been born with the "right" genetic abilities and then some luck thrown in for good measure.
I remember growing on a farm. We had a bunch of chicks born, one was malformed, it lived but looked odd, it's beak was crooked and one wing was
shriveled up. A few days later, the other chicks peeked it to death. Grandpa said, "that is the way the animal kingdom works, it weeds out the odd
Mankind likes to set himself up above the other animals we share this planet with..........but in reality most of us do exactly the same thing to
those that have the misfortune and bad luck to be born, "a little odd'.
To those that are "odd" celebrate your oddness. (God, I'm Aquarius how odd can that be!)
The world would be so borning if everyone was like a Barbie and Ken doll. And everyone acted like the mindless cheerleaders and jocks we all tried to
emulate in high school.
We need "the odd ones" they make life exciting and are the very ones that often times can "think outside the box".
I hope this reaches someone, anyone and tomorrow, Monday when you go to work or school, please remember, just a smile, just a friendly hello can mean
so much to someone.
One of my favorite movies is Forest Gump. The movie says so much about how we should be treating each other and looking at a person for how they are
vs how they look and how intellegent they come off.
"We need to be kinder to each other. Love is the answer, everything else is an illusion"......David Icke
Good luck to the OP, please keep in touch and you do have a family here on ATS. There are so many wonderful people here that will simply sit back and
listen to you.
Let us know why you feel you want to end your life. Are you old or young? God, if you are young, to be young, you have a whole long life ahead of
you with adventures and opportunities.
Try to really dwell on the good stuff, for now, don't worry about the world and the dark stuff. Try to, like a horse with blinders, try to
concentrate on the positive. You must be good at something. You must have a passion for something? Throw yourself into it.
Lastly. Maybe volunteer at a local animal shelter, homeless shelter, old folks home, anywhere that will get you out and thinking about and helping
others. I never feel so good as when I am helping another person, it's a magical potion no money can buy. Meeting people less fortunate than you,
forging a relationship with those that have been through hell and back can be quite inspiring.
Best of luck and may you find peace.
edit on 7-11-2010 by ofhumandescent because: grammar & spelling