Excuse me... where's the John?

Hi.

I've been hanging around, looking at the place for a while now. It's nice, like one of those smoky pubs on a major highway where not many people know each other well, but some do. The newcomers sit at the bar and stare at the crowd behind them through the mirror where all the bottles are lined up. The regulars sit at tables or play pool at the back. It's buzzing with conversations and the tunes are muted.

It seems a popular place but well regulated, with burly bouncers wandering about in pairs or little clutches gathered near doorways. When an argument breaks out, they're likely quick to the spot to break it up. I feel comfortable, lay a ten-spot on the table and order a beer from the pretty bartender. I notice her nametag... DontTreadOnMe and tip ALL my change to her right away remembering that flag the Tea Partiers all like to wave around. Grinning, she says thanks and moves on down to another customer.

Grabbing my beer, I get off the barstool and wander to the back of the room where the pool tables are. In the dim shadows along the wall are a few empty tables and, sitting down, begin watching the game of snooker at the nearest table. One guy, about 5'10'' and fairly slim, wearing a Harley jacket and leather chaps was clearly having trouble sinking reds. He was too fast and not taking his time lining up the cue. The big fellow playing him was patient, smiling, and enjoying the grimacing biker as he missed yet another and even almost sank the cue ball. Man... that big guy looked a lot like a wrestler.

Anyways, as the game ended, I could see they really were the best of pals because the biker handed over a twenty without frowning.

Finishing my beer, I headed back over to the bar and, on the way, heard a nasty exchange at a tableful of people. They were arguing about politics. Next thing you know, one called another a 'libtard' and the bunch of them stood up yelling at each other, pointing their fingers and knocking the drinks off the table. It was ugly. Out of the smoke, a single bouncer apeared and suddenly a big red sticker was slapped over the mouth of the guy that had used the libtard label. It was weird. I looked closer and it said WARN in black letters.

Wow... strange bar.

Like it, though. Think I'll stay for a while and see what else might happen. Meanwhile, I need to find the bathroom. My back teeth are swimming. Know where it is?

haha nice Introduction man


welcome to ATS ...

Down the hall, third door on your left. Don't make a mess.


Welcome aboard.

reply to post by angrydog


Hey, angrydog. How's it going?

reply to post by snowspirit


Ah, thanks, snowspirit. It's been a long haul. Got to run...

reply to post by momoney


Loved the intro!!
Welcome! one word of advice: just don't put your elbows on the bar...there's this sticky stuff that never seems to get cleaned off there.
oh yeah, and it's on the toilet seat, too

reply to post by momoney


Flagged Thats a great question momoney. I've been here for a few months observing the old musty pub myself and just recently found where the john is. It's in political madness 3 doors down and to the left. You won't be able to miss it. "GOP" is right on the door in gold letters.

Welcome!

reply to post by pisces77


I'll remember to roll up my sleeves and do my bidness standing. I'll hold off on 'tother until I get back to the motel.



reply to post by cbaskins


GOP... Grand Old Pisser?

please lift the seat, although some around here do, most of us try not to piss on the floor.

reply to post by rubbertramp


What seat? The john I was just in had a trough with water flowing down it. Groady.

OMG... I'm time travelling. The band just started up a set and you wouldn't believe who it is.

All the bouncers are doing a Congo Line and applauding the patrons. Now I know where the love is.

Originally posted by momoney
The band just started up a set and you wouldn't believe who it is.

Stick around.... last night's band was Way better


Speaking of momoney ... that'll be $8.50 for the shot and a beer ... we don't do tabs.


Welcome to ATS!

Originally posted by 12m8keall2c
Stick around.... last night's band

Wowie, Mr, 1234. I bet this quiet place must have gotten a bit riotous.

Did y'all have to get out the whip?

Speaking of momoney ... that'll be $8.50 for the shot and a beer ... we don't do tabs.

Now wait a minute there, Sparky, I already paid for this drink. DontTreadOnMe is handling ALL my drinks here and I tip her real good. I like a Tea Party gal.

Welcome to ATS!

Thank you. Now get back in that Congo line and I'll go buy you a beer.

reply to post by momoney

Great intro!

I like the way you tell a story . . . ever thought of getting published?

If you haven`t already, that is!

What other stories have you got up your sleeve?

Thanx for the chuckle.

Originally posted by momoney
Wowie, Mr, 1234. I bet this quiet place must have gotten a bit riotous.

Did y'all have to get out the whip?

Nah ... just want to make all to see that there are many sides, aspects and angles to ATS ... everyone's included.

Now wait a minute there, Sparky, I already paid for this drink. DontTreadOnMe is handling ALL my drinks here and I tip her real good. I like a Tea Party gal.

Funny. That. She actually sent me round your way to collect ...?... Hope you aint looking to skip out ...

... last one who tried that ... :shk: it wasn't pretty :shk:

Thank you. Now get back in that Congo line and I'll go buy you a beer.

I'm cheap. 6-pack and a pizza makes a date ... but I don't do Congo lines, sorry

reply to post by momoney

where's the John?

Greetings, you called ?

Actually, great intro and the Bee Gees thrown in as well. Nice work. Youre way to cool for us.

Have fun, and probably see you out on the boards somewhere.

Laters,

JQ.