A Tribute to Men in Black (1998)
***Inspired by the skin textures and layouts on Kingdom Hearts 2 for PS2 and hearing the Men in Black 2 theme, two and two mix… you get something
super… so lets begin, you’ll find it’s a mix of Kingdom Hearts, Men in Black, and even Star Wars, possibly more!***
Scene 1 - Intro
Long, long ago… in a galaxy far, far away... ehm, world far, far away.
Mobo: Disney World
Narrator: Shut up… *he pauses for a minute*
Long, long ago… in a world far, far away… there was a person...
Mobo: How dull was that line?
Narrator: Listen you… I’m gonna rip your mouth off if you don’t shut up!
Mobo: Okay, okay, hey Bill you guys gotta try right?
Long, long ago… in a world far, far away… there was a boy, “better”, says Mobo in the background, “a boy who’s mission was to save that one world from
evil”, Bill continued, “and that boy, that boy was…”, “pootietang”, Mobo interrupts. Bill takes Mobo, who is a 3 foot long lizard, and stuffs him into
a jar. “I get paid for this, I’ll be damned if I let road-kill steal it from me”, says Bill. “Okay folks…”, he continues, “that boy worked for the top
secret government agency, known as the FBI.
Sora – The main character of the story.
Mobo – Yes, that green snake thing makes another appearance.
Mulder – Oh come on, do I need to explain?
Scully – See Mulder
Luke – He just can’t use the force to get in any other story.
Shugo – Hey, come on, I’m in this too the Director of the X-Files Unit. (Course I'd make myself the boss.
J – Someone called Will Smith, and he demanded a part in this… so did…
K – yes, we’re weak here at the office.
John – Sorry folks, but he paid money for the Anti-Bush campaign.
War Protesters – Give em a little while, they beat on Sora and his partner a lot.
Mark – Mark Morrison wanted to meet Sora in person, so, this happened… Sora’s partner in the story.
Scene 2 – Slave Boy
Sora, sitting in his 10x15 office, filling out release forms for the slimy insects that were brought in last week from Planet V. “Why the heck do we
have one of those stupid letters for the planet?”, he says out of frustration, “we don’t call Jupiter, Planet J!” Realizing the errors that he had
heard about the FBI being the top secret, “what the heck, top secret… pft, only a few departments” he says again, clearly exhausted. He looks at his
watch to find it’s only 0800 hours, he has only been at work for 45 minutes. “Ahhhhhh, when is something interesting going to happen… there’s nothing
here, I blew up that scud ball vertebrae last week with that gun, that’s it.”
Mulder walks in the room holding a huge pile of papers,
Mulder: more for you friend… oh and when you’re done the toilets need cleaning.
Sora: That’s the last time I make a bet with you.
Mulder: You were only half drunk at the time.
Sora: I shouldn’t of been at all, you’re the one that shoved em down my throat.
“ Well, it was all in fun”, Mulder says as he walks away. “I can’t believe that guy, he pours alcohol down my throat, I puke all night… wake up the
next morning to find I made a bet with him I don’t remember.” Mark walks in and sits down on the other side of the room not saying anything or showing
any expression. “What’s with the face?”, Sora asks. “This job”, “oh” Sora interrupts, “it’s a pain… all this work, half of the time you end up on the
other side of the city or town or whatever, while I’m taken up into a space ship and end up on the other side of a galaxy”, Mark retorts. “Well, you
wanna quit?” Sora asks, “that door is always there to walk out of, I’m getting busted up to… look at me… I’ve got a black suit that still shows dirt,
and now it seems I’m on Janitorial Duty”, Sora moans in frustration.
Mark: I can’t quit and you know it.
Sora: Do I?
Mark: I told you last week I have money trouble.
Sora: Yeah, there’s a way to solve that.
Mark: Yeah? How?
Sora: It’s called don’t shoot out 6 windows because the person in the house looked like O.J. Simpson.
Mark gets up and walks to the doorway. “I don’t have time to listen to this”, he says as he walks out of the room. “Man, what a day”, Sora says
leaning back in his chair. “Yo!”, yells J making Sora slip backwards and fall, then causing the pile of papers Mulder brought in earlier to fall on
him. “Oh, I came at a bad time, I’ll catch ya later”, J says running back down the hall. “Dammit, that hurt, ow”, Sora complains as he pulls himself
back up. “There is just not one day I don’t get this kind of crap”, Sora thinks to himself standing in the pile of papers, “This just is not my field
to fill out these dang papers.”
Scene 3 – First Big Case
Tired from filling out all the papers, Sora drags himself down the hall, “Janitorial Duty, uuuuuuugh”, he moans in frustration, bumping into Shugo,
the X-Files Director, “what’re you doing with that plunger?”, Shugo asks, “I lost a bet with Mulder, that I don’t even remember”, Sora replies, “Ok,
how about you turn right around walk back down that hall, and get back up in the conference room in 5, the “bet” of yours is being put off by me”,
Shugo says. “I owe you one”, Sora says as he walks back down the hall to the Janitor Closet. “This is not what agents are supposed to do”, Shugo
thinks in discuss at Mulder’s actions. “Where is that leash holder Scully when you need her?”
Meanwhile on the other side of the city, Scully is performing an autopsy on some sort of bug, that initially was killed when someone gave it the
finger. “Nothing”, she says in discuss. “I hate what I am doing, I can’t believe it’s on a stupid little insect”, she complains.
Back at the office, the agents all meet up in the conference room: J, K, Sora, Mark, Mulder, and some guy who sat under the table. Sora kicks him for
the heck of it, “ow, that hurt stupid”, the shadow person says, punching Sora so it makes him go blank in the face. “Ahem, hey Bill, get out from
under the table, pervert… you’re only a supervisor”, Shugo says once again disgusted with the actions being held.
Shugo: A better idea Bill, how about you leave.
“Please” , Sora whispers seeing he’s speechless.
Bill: He started it - -
“Shut up Bill”, Shugo interrupts as he opens the door and motions Bill out of the room. “You ok Agent?” he asks Sora, “just peachy”, Sora says still
Shugo: (motions for security to take Bill away)
Cutting down to business folks, and Sora sit up.
Sora: (pulls himself up)
Mulder: You seem uppity today sir.
“Don’t start with me”, Shugo says with a smirk on his face. “We got a case, and Sora… it may be that big one you’ve been waiting for…”
Shugo: Seems we’ve had a lot of reports of figures being sighted just across the boarder here (pointing to a large map) ijust along the forest line,
mainly along the roads, sometimes into the woods, and also some reports of attacks, and a few have been fatal.
J: and this is big for him, or us, or whatever… how?
K: Shut up skip, it could possibly be anything.
Shugo: That’d be one of many suggestions.
Sora: Hey, it’s good enough for me. I’ll take this one…
Shugo: OK, I got him, anyone else?
K & Mulder: I’ll go.
Shugo: OK, let’s get on it people.
(Scene ends with everyone leaving the conference room)
Scene 4 – Waiting?
(Scene opens with Sora tossing pennies into a cowboy hat of Marks)
Sora: uuuuuuugh, how long is it supposed to take to get a car wash, and then get back to the office.
Mark: Shoot, K loves his car, so he’s probably yelling at the people who left a spot.
Sora: Good point.
J: Well, if I know K, he probably flashed em with that dillio.
Sora: What’s that?
J: ahhh, it flashes and you forget everything.
Mark: Sounds like what I need.
Meanwhile a stranger stumbles into the rule, “I’m heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere”, he shouts.
Sora: Who’s this guy, and how does he know about this bunker I live in?
J: Wait you’re Jim Carey. What the heck are you doing here?
Ace: No one called THE PET DETECTIVE?!
Mark: no *exasperated*
Ace: whatever *stomps off*
“Once again, the losers always come to us”, Sora sighs.
Meanwhile, K is stuck in a crow of War Protestors on the outside of town. “Ah dammit anyway. I hate these stupid politicians.” Forgetting his magical
little red button he could press.
Shugo is walking down the hall reading a newspaper, and trips over a bucket Sora had left there earlier. “Great… once again, I’m stuck with this
tricky squad”, Shugo sighs. Sora hearing the clatter pokes his head out of the office, “what’s up?” “You leaving stupid buckets of stuff everywhere”,
he responds pushing Sora out of the way and continuing to walk down the hall. “Um, oops…”, Sora responds completely embarrassed.
(Contemporarily ends scene)
Sora: Woah, woah, woah what is that? *pointing up*
Scully: *rips it down* It’s just your imagination.
Sora and J: riiight then.
Sora: Wait a minute, when’d you get here?!
Scully: Huh? Oh, I came in while you were staring at that sign.
K, pulls up outside. “Finally, I knew it’d require me to run a few over… but, at least there wasn’t any casualties.” Shugo is giving him a weird look,
“uh… I didn’t say anything sir”, K says. “K, you’re too trigger happy.”, Shugo says in disgust. “I really did it this time”, K moans as he stumbles
into the office.
Sora: The scene can end now!
(Scene ends with Sora beating on Bill the Narrator)
Sora: That was short.
Mark: Shut up.