Letting go

hey all, im at this point in the journey of letting go of everything, and adjusting my perspective to something greater. ive let go of my home, my friends, my loves. there is one thing holding me though, possibly more but for now its this, my family. the bond and love we share is so strong it brings much pain letting them go. not in a sens that they have passed but i feel its something i need to do... any advice?

reply to post by fallinstar


why do you feel like you need to let go of your family and the things that make you happy to become enlightned? and are you just planning on letting go of these things temporarily?

Originally posted by fallinstar
hey all, im at this point in the journey of letting go of everything, and adjusting my perspective to something greater. ive let go of my home, my friends, my loves. there is one thing holding me though, possibly more but for now its this, my family. the bond and love we share is so strong it brings much pain letting them go. not in a sens that they have passed but i feel its something i need to do... any advice?

Well, I don't believe you have to abandon them.......Is easy for me to say since even when I was a little boy it is often my nature to be alone, self absorbed.... You sure you are able to let go? Do you feel any sense of anxiety when you haven't contacted or talked to the people you care the most? Here is one thing you can do. Set boundaries. Imagining an invisible wall between you and your family. You are only allowed to intervene in their lives in time of crisis. You want them to live their lives with little influence you have as possible while you still perform the duty of a son, a brother, or a sister. Make your good intentions as sincere as possible while try to limiting contacts. It works for me, again I am use to it. I can feel all alone in a family gathering. It makes family gathering not as fun and more like work. I make sure I don't disappoint when my family members need something done.

reply to post by Kashmir


i feel i need to do this so that there is nothing holding me down and it would be permanently. i wouldn't ignore them or anything its not like that.

reply to post by ChiForce


i feel kinda bad for my family some times no anxiety though. i like your point in being a good son and being there, i will remember that. im just asking for advice in letting go of everything. thx

Originally posted by fallinstar
hey all, im at this point in the journey of letting go of everything, and adjusting my perspective to something greater. ive let go of my home, my friends, my loves. there is one thing holding me though, possibly more but for now its this, my family. the bond and love we share is so strong it brings much pain letting them go. not in a sens that they have passed but i feel its something i need to do... any advice?

My friend,

I do not know of any spiritual path that encourages letting go of those you love. Love is a builder of a solid spiritual path. It gives you people to fall back on when you need them and it gives you people to shower with your own kind benevolence. To withdraw, seems like a path of giving up to me. Granted, others may not understand what you are going through. If that is the case, you do not give up on them, you grow your family with more people to love, and choose those that do understand to add to it.

But, this is just my opinion my friend. Search your heart deeply. There you will find answers.

With Love,

Your Brother

Well, you could do that, but I would recommend the middle way.

Originally posted by IAMIAM

Originally posted by fallinstar
hey all, im at this point in the journey of letting go of everything, and adjusting my perspective to something greater. ive let go of my home, my friends, my loves. there is one thing holding me though, possibly more but for now its this, my family. the bond and love we share is so strong it brings much pain letting them go. not in a sens that they have passed but i feel its something i need to do... any advice?

My friend,

I do not know of any spiritual path that encourages letting go of those you love. Love is a builder of a solid spiritual path. It gives you people to fall back on when you need them and it gives you people to shower with your own kind benevolence. To withdraw, seems like a path of giving up to me. Granted, others may not understand what you are going through. If that is the case, you do not give up on them, you grown your family with more people to love, and choose those that do understand to add to it.

But, this is just my opinion my friend. Search your heart deeply. There you will find answers.

With Love,

Your Brother

Do you "love" for a self directed reason or do you "love" for the well being of others? People love because they fear to let go and their identity is too bonded by their relationship. And people do love because they understand the other persons are in need of help. You love without any self directed reason. Without any interdependency. Which love you are referring to?

What do you meen by letting go? as in spiritually?
If you have good family, they are good to you, you are good to them. Then they will need you and you will need them.

Being willing to part with possessions and things is one thing but really no path to enlightenment would lead you to let go of those around you. At least not in a full blown sense. To let those go that are a constant distraction or detrimental to your growth is one thing and sometimes your family will be those people, but overall it isn't healthy to isolate yourself from others.

Things are just things they come and go and sometimes it is painful, but it is people that help us to grow and develop our ability to love. It is people that show you how to become compassionate and forgiving. Without the ability to connect to people you will arrive at a spiritual dead end.

reply to post by fallinstar


I can relate to a certain degree and empathize with the need to form one's own solitary identity. Seeing how you are a relatively new member, I can't recal getting to know you, yet. I hope you are not thinking of leaving us prior to sharing things you know .

You aren't thinking of "going somewhere" are you? I read the opening post and it could be construed different ways. Which gives me some concern, because I care. Perhaps what you are talking about is a personal quest and a sort of spiritual or private walkabout. In which case, I can relate to the perceived necessity of it, with all the burdens of societies' expectations becoming daily routine.

After my seventh tour of duty to warzones during my eleven year enlistment in the usaf as a firefighter, I didn't like humanity as a whole for some time, and felt somewhat ashamed to be a part of it, as well as guilty when I felt as though I was somehow possibly a burden to them.

I retired honorably last year, and collect a generous pention, but decided to live on the outskirts of a small town slightly disconnected from the furious pace of military life and hectic ideologies of society while I focus on myself and me, a habit I had forgotten how to do, I think.

There have been many friendships I have abandoned, and family members I have disassociated from for a time, but I could never abandon them totally if they perceived they needed me. I live with my brother, and my dog Fido. I enjoy living in the woods and closer to nature. I don't think I am entirely a hermit, but if I do not need to associate with people, I usually do not. Their laws and mandatory expectations already number greater than I can learn to count within one lifetime, and personally I do not feel as though friends and family should have so many expectations they place upon eachother. Friends and Family do not talk to friends and family by mandatorily expecting them to conform to more rules than one can learn in one's own lifetime. Perhaps this is just a tool of society to reinforce personal accountability and personal responsibilities for one's own actions and behaviors, and temper/guide peoples' intentionalities.

In short: I hope this is not a "Goodbye ATS" thread, seems to me like you just got here, and I hate to lose members before I get a chance to learn something from them, although even I took a couple years off from ATS during 07 & 08 due to deployments and real life issues that kept me away.

Fallinstar,
Please don't be stranger, and feel free to send me a u2u if you feel the need

I'm adding you to my friends list whether you abandon me or not

take care & be safe,
John Paul

reply to post by Dr Cosma


yes i meant spiritually maybe i should have clarified. i will continue to love them unconditionally, i think it may be a deeper rooted problem i just feel like the people i see will die and i shouldn't love them with the idea that it will last forever although it will but in a different sense.

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


hey thx for the thoughfull post. im trying to let go to pursue my own identity with no influences. my family is alwayse there for me but there arent in a sense if you kno what i mean. ive been practicing astral projecting and whenever im at the countdown to escaping a memory of my family comes up along with pain...

and no im not planning anything! although i am leaving to the af soon. look forward to talking more

reply to post by fallinstar


Glad to hear... um ... read it that is. I was a little concerned after reading the intro.

Are you joining the Air Force, and is that what you mean by " af " ? Dedicating some level of service during one's life is a great way to find out more about yourself. Unfortunately, sometimes there are things we are passionate about and love to do, and then there are things we are naturally good at, and they are not always the same thing, in all cases


I thank you for taking the time to respond to my inquiry and thanks for the explanation,
ET

P.S. Don't let my temporary avatar scare you too much, it is just up for the Hollloween season

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


i see your point in being worried, one can only wonder. i was referring to my spiritual journey, it has me in places i would never imagine good and bad if you kno what i mean. ive been dealing with death alot and trying to understanding it, which ties into letting go (not my own death).

Yes i ment airforce the civilian life is seriously killing me due to my limited resources, im 18. i need the discipline to lol btw ur avatar is cool, i wud make my own but i cannot log into ats media thing bla.

reply to post by fallinstar


wow, that actually makes complete sense to me and I know realize what may have been preventing my own adventures in the astral...

you're talking about letting go of pain...

-B.M

reply to post by fallinstar


18 is a tough age, and perhaps you will find some measure of solictitude with your service. (I included a hotlink to the definition because it has more than one meaning, not to insult intelligence).

My advice to you is to write down why you joined the Air Force, and dwell upon those reasons from time to time, as well as measure yourself as to how you meet those expectations. My AFPC was Fire Protection, and I learned a great deal about myself and others in my service.

Also, if I might make a suggestion, keep a journal or diary. And follow this advice, it will help defrag your mind...
1) While writing in your journal or diary, have the intentions and know no one else is ever going to read it. We all too often fall into a habit of not treating people the same way, as individuals have different boundries. We do not treat our bosses the same way we treat our subordinates, always. We did not treat our teachers the same way we treated other students. We do not have the same identical relationships with our parents as we do our neighbors. And sometimes parts of us get left behind or chisseled away by what we percieve society needs or wants from us. So, when writing in your diary or journal, write knowing no one else will ever read it. No one else to offend, no one else to impress, and most importantly: No one else to lie to or hold back from.
2) Ask yourself a logical question, try to summerize and draw upon all you know (speculation and imagination is welcome) and come up with the most logical answers you can come up with. Then ask the next logical question about any subject matter that interests you at that point and time. Allow for "automatic writing" and delve into and explore your own unique way of thinking.
3) If you don't know enough to know all possible answers, so what, at least you wrote down the question for future consideration, considering you have yet to be exposed to certain truisms, and certain experiences your senses may garner in the future.

Keeping a journal for private thoughts, or even sharing them here on ATS has helped me in ways I cannot fully fathom yet, and I'm 38 years old.
______________________________________________

Now your Intro makes A LOT more sense to me, btw....

As for basic training....

I joined at age 26 in 1998. I had been employed working for/with developmentally disabled children since the age of 15 and years of psychological damage of watching sick children pass away had taken it's toll on me, personally. I had also felt as though I had done as much as I could do for all my co-workers and our clients, and it was time for me to search out some answers for myself as to what was going on in the world. I wanted to learn more, see more, know stuff.

Prior to MEPS they decided for me that my best placement would be as a firefighter as they were in need at the time for more firefighters, and with my medical background and physical condition it made sense to me, although heights was not something I cared for, I quickly learned to get over that fear

Although there was someone older than me in basic training the MTI's (Military Training Instructors) wanted me to be the dorm chief in charge of the immediate safety for 60 recruits during their absences, as well as other details. I was hesitant and refused to take the position 4 times until they ordered me to be their dorm chief. So I became dorm chief, no biggy.

You'll be yelled at. Stay cool, smile slighty. If they tell you to do something, do it. They will test you, it is ok, nothing personal, just preparing you for what may come during your enlistment. Make sure your uniforms look sharp, take care of those around you. Pay attention to detail, and don't let fear rule you every day.

When you graduate from basic training and get that day pass to get out and be free after those weeks of training, stay with a group, five or more, and do not break up for any amount of time. Unfortunately we lost one member of my flight who did go out on his own without any wingman or group, and he never came back. He was found in a dumpster with multiple stab wounds a couple weeks later. I was not pleased to say the least, but did not learn of his where abouts until I had been relocated to Goodfellow AFB for fire acadamy tech school a few weeks later. So, stay together in a group when going out on your first "leave", ok? There are some bad people in San Antonio, as there are in many places, unfortunately. Apparently he was being mugged, and decided to fight back. Details were sketchy, but he managed to break some bones of two out of four of his attackers. I'm not telling you this to scare you, just to make sure you are safe. see the sights in San Antonio, just do it in a group, ok.

Also, learn to learn from other peoples' mistakes. That is why the TI's are shouting, so everyone can hear them correct a mistake that they want everyone to learn from. And, yes, sometimes they bate people into making mistakes in order to make a seen, just part of the game and preparing the troops.

Look out for others, and others will be more apt to look out for you, too.

Basic Training can be fun, make sure to pack your sense of humor, it may help

Basic Training

Would I do it again? I honestly don't know, the last decade has been pretty rough on military members. And I've seen more than my fare share, and managed to learn a great deal about myself, my limits (or lack there of) as well as a great deal about other people as well, from many nations.

You will enjoy it, you will hate it, you will love it, it will test you, you will test it. And there will be times when you will look at your commander or person appointed over you and you will have to question their order or their reasoning. If you know in your heart you are right, speak up, but if you can do it professionally and in private.

A colonel once said to me with a group of firefighters during our overhaul of a fire scene in a warzone:
"Sergeant, crap rolls down hill"

At which I responded:
"Sir, YES SIR, but gravity being what gravity is, we can determine that it didn't start down here."

One of many smart ass comments my mouth got me into trouble over

Disclaimer: Don't use that one at basic training, ok?

You'll be fine, be safe & take care of those around you.

-SSgt John P. G. , USAF Firedog, (retired)

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


yes i used to keep a journal, they do help sort things out.

ya i cant wait to get in, im just waiting now for my job to come down. eithier aircrew (i hope) or intel is what i choose. aircrew i get to see the world. the discipline is just a good feeling i want. i hate feeling out of control..lost. thx for your advice i will remember and listen to it.

reply to post by B.Morrison


exactly, thats the bigger part of my question. some say give it to jesus! its not that easy i say

Originally posted by fallinstar
hey all, im at this point in the journey of letting go of everything, and adjusting my perspective to something greater. ive let go of my home, my friends, my loves. there is one thing holding me though, possibly more but for now its this, my family. the bond and love we share is so strong it brings much pain letting them go. not in a sens that they have passed but i feel its something i need to do... any advice?

Being 3 months into my stay here at West Point, I can say don't worry about letting go of anything before you go. When you are at Basic Training, you will naturally let go of things that aren't worth keeping.

My life before Cadet Basic Training, it was like a puzzle, and I had all these puzzle pieces in my possession... my family, running track, playing tennis, playing music, going to church, studying the bible, going on ATS, girls, friends, writing, West Point... I was trying to fit all these pieces into my puzzle but what I knew at that time was all of the pieces weren't going to fit into one puzzle; there were too many pieces. When I got to Cadet Basic Training, I started throwing away the pieces I didn't need in order to get through CBT.

Playing tennis, I loved to play, but it wasn't something I needed, so goodbye competetive tennis.

Track team, not good enough for a D-1 track team, goodbye track.

Playing piano and clarinet, not enough time for that, goodbye playing music.

Church, never enjoyed it in the first place, goodbye church.

Family, never had much support from them anyways, so being away from them wasn't hard for me (may be different for you).

And girls, I didn't have a girlfriend but I had a few friends, and most of them I just drifted away from... I told myself before CBT that I was prepared to never talk to anyone I had known back home ever again, and I honestly was ready to do that, but when I got a letter from this one girl back home I just felt really happy and I knew that I wasn't going to let go of her just yet; I still talk to her now, not my girlfriend but she's there to support me, and believe me you want all the support you can get.

Other things I kept: writing a journal, writing letters, going on ATS, I do it during the little free time I have when I'm not napping.

So hopefully this helps, basically just don't worry too much about it, things will work itself out to be the way it should be.