Momma Stands for her Soldier

Hello my friends,
This feels like a social issue, so I am going to drop this here. Mod of course feel free to move where ever is nec.

As many of you know, my daughter just got deployed for a year to Kawiat. Yes I have the mother ,"Oh no's" about it, but that is not what I'm posting here for.

I am posting for the little girl that thought she had friends and shared her heart to defend them till her dying breath as many of us did when we were of that delicate age of "The Ugly Teens". Friends always trumped family. Seems we have all had a bit of a soldiers heart to defend what we love. Once it is called war, well for some, it changes there on semantics, but I digress.

I wish to address in the only way I know how at the moment, a situation that is surrounding me. Let me say for the record, I am not one for drama, much less the drama of my childs life... Im a big dog now and know how to avoid it... or so I thought.

Yes, my daughter was struggling with her teen years... getting a little lost on the "Accepted Path" ( geee I can relate if I were honest about it), but with a lot of courage, she tried to make a change for the better and decided to join the National Guard. Was she running away from something? Maybe, but that's not for me to answer, that is for her to know.

The point is she did it, she believed in what she was doing, she discovered self respect. Any soldier here reading this knows I don't have to go in depth to explain that.

To make a long story short... Last thing she heard from her lover..." I hope you die and yada yada yada." Really too ugly to tell it all. What???? YOU SAY? yep. feel the love there???

The one that was really disappointing to me though was this one. Now mind you, this is one my daughter would go to great lengths to be there for, her considered friend. Just a small clip of the convo she had to read the day after she left.
First my daughters response to nonsense I wont bore you with. You'll get the gist I'm sure:

My daughter:

I would loooove to see ppl do what i do...but u cant....so go ahead and sit at home and make your COFFEE..ha! cuz if it wasnt for ppl like me and my "national gaurds men" u wouldnt be able to....so enjoy the life u make for ur self...while us "children" shoot the big boy guns....so enjoy that freedom of urs....cuz this... is all I have....and its better then what ever you'll EVER have....

Obviously someone said something stupid. Now you want to see something more stupid? The response:

LOL "SHoot big boy guns" that's what being a soldier is about?!?!?1 LOL Figures...STILL HAVENT LEARNED #...just on a stupid pedestal...what's funny is that you've already almost been discharged due to shooting an M16 at a fellow comrade....sounds like you've learned alot about protection and being a good person...LOL RIIIIIIIGHT

Is this for real? A old friend saying this to someone that is trying to make a difference for them? I soooo feel for any other soldiers that have had to go through this?Does this happen on a regular occurrence?

Well of course the momma in me, even though Im not a fan of war etc, I still support my troops because they are all our children stepping up on all sides for what they think is right, regardless of who its for or what its about, they stand so I dont have too, just couldn't let this go....

So, this is my response to the whole disrespectful mess:
(try and keep in mind this is a facebook posting)

oh dear I just can't help myself. speaking of big guns... do real big dogs count too for this convo? lets break this down...
"STILL HAVENT LEARNED #$%#."
I dont think I would want to learn "$#%^" I'd much rather learn something that brings me personal pride and joy. Might explain my "stupid pedestal.
Next," what's funny is that you've already almost been discharged due to shooting an M16 at a fellow comrade."
Hmmm, you've been damn near put in the hospital by your fellow comrade, aka "lover" how many times now and still go back?
Next,"sounds like you've learned a lot about protection and being a good person...LOL RIIIIIIIGHT.
Sounds like you didn't learn anything about this person when if you really knew her,you'd have known this person before being a soldier would have protected you to the death if it was needed to be. That's how much this Now Soldiers Heart,stands for the ones she loves and considers friends and family.
No matter how you slice it, a Good person would not slap a soldier going off into the unknown. That is a insult to any and all soldiers from all over the world, no to mention very Un American.Might actually piss people off.

To think a past friend can only think to insult someone who may believe in your right for freedom and will stand up for it for you ( so you can insult them of course) ugh!!!
Me thinks someone else has only learned "$#@%",
Has never talked to the caterpillar on the pedestal,
Hasn't learned from their mistakes,
and Totally fails in learning a "Good Person" would always know when they have a good friend through the good the bad the ugly. It doesn't matter, A good person would always be supportive.
Bless our Troops and Their GOOD HEARTS and STRENGTH to know, sadly this is something they may die for. A persons right to learn $#%&.
Now back to your regular program...
This was not brought to you by Fox news...
I am a Soldiers Mom and I approve this message

Can someone please tell me why or how people can be so insensitive? Thins like this really make it hard to become a better person.... Is it me or is something really wrong with this picture?

People are idiots. I feel for you and what your going through. My deployments were harder on my now wife and mom, than on me I think. No one can understand what your going through. Each experience is different. But just from your post you sound like a good mom.
The military bashers especially on this site will not go away. But the difference is your daughter is actually making a difference in the world. No matter what anyone says. There are alot of vets on this site that support both you and your daughter if you need anything.
It might help to look up your local VFW. They have a ladies auxillary chapter that you may be eligible to join. It might be a good means of support for you.

Just continuing here because I dont know how much space I have left. It pains me to think so many of our youth are trying to do something with themselves, to be all they can be, about the only thing decent our government has to offer anyone anymore and they have to hear this stuff...

I really didnt mean to post a drama moment, I was just trying to point out a clip of what I guess others may be going through and I find it terribly terribly sad.

I do salute you my brave youth with strong hearts and dreams of maybe, just maybe, something better or even grander, a glimpse of peace to be all you can be.

reply to post by rakkasansct


Thank you sooo much for responding. It does the heart good. I have actually done a lot with the vets in my past, and now, I am thinking it is time to revisit what I learned on a different scale. Truly, Thank you.

I have posted this here before, but I thought it might deserve a place here as well... How to say Thank you..

reply to post by yigsstarhouse

You are not going to like my answer, at least not at first, and maybe not ever. So skip it if you like.
(Note: My wife and I have raised two daughters. My wife thought the military would be good at one time, not anymore.)
Your daughter is seeking acceptance and respect. The "respect" part I agree with.
She should never need to feel like she has to be "accepted" by her friends, whether they are her old friends, or her newly acquired ones in the military. This is what leads young people to join gangs, or to binge drink, or to tolerate abuse by a partner.
Respect is much more difficult to earn, and it has to start with SELF-respect. That means SHE has to respect WHAT she is doing. She has to believe in it, and respect the people that are asking her to make these sacrifices. Her government, her superiors, and/or her country.
This is where I have a problem. Not with her, but with the people that think it somehow makes ME safe that she is doing this "service." This is a lie perpetrated by a lying corporate government, and she is an unwitting accomplice. The sooner she learns what the war is truly about, and the faster she extracts herself from this personal mistake, the faster she can TRULY earn HER self-respect, and the respect of people she could actually admire. She will have REAL friends, friends that RESPECT her.
Trust me, you will come to agree with me some day.
With love,
Stewie

reply to post by Stewie


oooo I do so agree with you, dont get me wrong, I see all your points , I really do. Those are My thoughts as well. I justcant answer for her for what she seeks, that is her drummer to dance too... but I cant be disrespectful of her courage to seek what she feels is right for her now either.....

reply to post by yigsstarhouse

I understand. It is a tough situation. I hope she learns valuable lessons, thumbs her nose at people that do not believe in her, and comes safely home to tell younger people what she has learned.
Helping others is great!

reply to post by yigsstarhouse


I think that your daughter will find a level of comradeship she won't know in civilian life. She should be as proud of herself as her mom is. She is stronger than me, I'll give her that as are you. I really honestly hope for her sake, she doesn't take this persons rhetoric to heart, although it has probably hurt her just the same... She will realize, if she hasn't already her real friends are most certainly her family that support her. A real friend would never treat another like this. Ever. She is extremely honourable, which is more than I can say for her 'friend'.

I hope she comes back safely to you... so she can show her friend just how big of a girl she has become. After that, she needs to be rid of this person. This person has issues of their own. If anyone needs to learn sh*t, it's the people that leave comments like you've shared with us.

I wish you & your daughter all the best.

reply to post by hhcore


Thanks hh that means more to me then you will ever know. The good news is she realizes this herself. After all, she is a chip off this old block!

I do not like the reasons given and costs payed for my so called freedom. I despise the way the US acts and fights illegal wars under a flag called democracy / freedom. Countless of lives have been ruined because of it.

I also think any soldier is fighting and protecting in the wrong place all together. I think it's a joke, unreal....

However...

I think you are a great mom, and the way that so called friend insults your daughter is disrespectful. What a jerk !
I believe it is admirable what your daughter does. Her reasons I applaud even tho I do not agree with the way she does it.

If I were you, I would look him up, and place my shoe in a place the sun doesn't shine.

All the best.

~ sinter

reply to post by Sinter Klaas


Thank you. I so feel what you and others are saying. It seems we all agree it really shouldn't be necessary, but the sad fact that it is, and if one is able to step up and address it, we all, with any compassion or empathy, have to respect. We are not blind, we know what we see and have seen, we are not deaf, we know what we have listened to and learned. We know touch, for many of us have hugged goodbye with well wishes, and welcomed homes with elated hearts.We've smelled the winds of change. and we have tasted the buffet of the good the bad the ugly....

I find it sad and ironic all this country has to offer for the youth with "Total Support" to be all one can be, is a soldier. Why not the artist, the musician, the farmer? Some will say they can.. but that might need a special Grant... Won't go there now...

It is hard for me to wrap my mind around someone thinking if they offer my daughter a dream and cheese she can be offered to the wind. To take that step???....I dont want to open that can of worms.. someone else around here will Im sure...I await the day my soldier, your soldier, the worlds soldier, who only wishes to serve and protect, and try to do what they think is right, can really FINALLY find their way home and lay their swords down....smell the wind, touch the tree, watch the garden grow, taste the nectar, and hear the peace...

reply to post by yigsstarhouse



Enjoy !




What ever I may disagree on. I'll admit.
I had a hard time from that second girl on. ( Not crying a tear or two. )

I hope for you you will be surprised like that somewhere in the near future.

reply to post by Sinter Klaas


lol great... just what I needed a major tear jerker right before bed.... the good news, happy tears for sure and thanks so much, Ill just be happy to get that ultimate hug no matter how it is delivered.... nice video... I feel like I watched.... lol nevermind,, thank you

Just thought I would share that I went over to the vets hospital today and actually got to spend some time with a couple of lonely WW2 vets. It was really amazing the things they had to say. Was sad they have no family that really cares. I think I will be spending more time there now, least with those two fellas. One was in italy and the other was in africa. Pretty cool to history channel come to life.

It must be hard, but you've got to be proud of your daughter - I would be if I had a daughter and she showed the sense of adventure and selflessness that yours has.

I'm currently working with a woman who is trying to talk her son out of joining the army (she is losing the argument!).
However much she protests I get the feeling that she approves, in a way.

Overriding your motherly instincts to protect is difficult - thus your feeling the need to respond to the facebook comments - but the life experience for your daughter will be priceless and her ambition is admirable.

Good luck to your daughter. She should have fun in Kuwait as its not really a warzone deployment. I don't even know if they still get combat patches over there anymore.

Other then the fact that she is around the same part of the world all the crap is happening, you really don't have a lot to worry about.

I doubt the words of a stranger will keep you from worrying though.

reply to post by Becoming


Quite the opposite Becoming, I have attended many of the family functions they have, and have talked to many of her battle buddies that have been there before. They in a sense were strangers to me as well. I am guessing you have been down this road in some capacity that they have.

The common sense side of me knows or I guess I should feels, she will be fine. It is the motherly instincts of wanting to protect my cub against that dang 1% uncertainty in the case of over seas, and the 100% ignorance of so called friends at home.

The good news is, I am pretty certain she knows she has her families full support and we are very very proud of her taking uncertain steps into her future.

reply to post by yigsstarhouse


I have been down that road 3 times, but I was the one deployed. All three in Iraq as a combat medic.

She will be fine, I think they are even allowed to shop in the local markets. If they are have her send you back something cool.