Save heterosexual marriage: ban straight divorce!

I've always been astounded by the silence on divorce by conservatives and especially Christian traditionalists.
Yet, divorce, or rather re-marriage is equated with the sin of adultery by Jesus Himself, and it is one of the few sins He personally points out. There may be general preachings against it, but these seem rather wishy-washy, especially since many evengelists have gone through divorce and the resulting re-marriage (Benny Hinn being the latest TV evangelist figure to be dumped). It appears that divorce retains few of its prior stigmas, and there are no social pressure groups targeting divorced celebrities as unfit role models, or demonizing them for an unBiblical lifestyle. This proves that minorities like gays are easier to target as moral transgressors, while heterosexual divorced people are a too numerous market to alienate.

I found the following fascinating article by Ryan Shattuck, which raises the point: if conservatives are really for marriage they should agitate for banning straight divorce. The author compares the anti-gay Bible verses to the anti-divorse verses, and divorce comes out tops. He mentions that the conservative "red states" in the US have higher divorce rates than the more liberal "blue states". While there have been movements to ban gay marriage, it does not affect straight marriage whatsoever. However, divorce obviously effects straight marriage.
qsaltlake.com...

So how about some consistency in saving marriage? How about some real pressure groups to ban heterosexual divorce?

Originally posted by halfoldman
So how about some consistency in saving marriage? How about some real pressure groups to ban heterosexual divorce?

Though it is refreshing to see an article documenting the hypocrisy of the far-right christians, the truth is that neither religion or government should be involved in the personal relationships of consenting adults of any kind. We don't need to "save marriage" either by oppression of homosexuals or pressuring bans on divorce.

reply to post by halfoldman


No offense but this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Ban divorce?

So you think people should stay with someone they are not happy with or someone who is abusive or cheating on them?

People need to make sure they know the meaning of marriage before they get married. Most people now a days get married for all the wrong reasons which results in divorce.

Ban divorce? How about this: Institute marriage term-contracts. Anyone, male/female/hetero/homosexual can marry at any time, but a contract must be signed defining the term limits of that marriage. No contract can be broken until the agreed upon period is over. At the end of the defined period, the marriage is automatically dissolved unless the party specifically contracts to extend it. Sounds fair, no?

ETA:
Clarify: the above is meant to be viewed tongue in cheek, I am not advocating for "forcing" others to do that which they do not want to do or prevent others from doing that which they want to do, when it comes to this issue.

reply to post by traditionaldrummer

A noble sentiment indeed, but that's not exactly what we've been seeing in the US or elsewhere where there is conservatism built around selective key phrases from Scripture.
Already stereotyped minorities just make convenient targets for the sake of emblemic "morality".
This is then a proven conspiracy, because it implies that consistent morality was never the issue, but rather the perpetuation of "social devils" as a common enemy and rallying point.

LOL, save yourself and dont get married .... !!

what a dumb subject ... come on, JESUS?

reply to post by mblahnikluver

No, I don't necessarily think people should stay with abusive partners, or simply in relationships they no longer like. But then, I didn't write the Bible or the Koran (well, duh), and neither do I claim to be a conservative who feels that banning gay marriage will somehow safegaurd heterosexuality.
However, if marriage is considered the sacrosanct expression of heterosexual union, then surely it deserves the ultimate legal protections.
At least the sinful lifestyles of divorced people shouldn't be celebrated or made out as normal.

Speaking as someone thats divorced, I think this is just silly.

In my case, I was dumb, and in love w/ the wrong person. So, I should have stayed w/ her, even though I was miserable? I agree w/ the contract idea that someone said.

You have to get a contract w/ just about everything else these days, why not marriage?

Originally posted by halfoldman

This is then a proven conspiracy, because it implies that consistent morality was never the issue, but rather the perpetuation of "social devils" as a common enemy and rallying point.

It's a bit of both, I believe, though I don't believe "morality" is the issue so much as conformity with religious texts. Some would call this "morality" though it isn't.

Still though, any kind of push to "ban divorce" is equally as repulsive as banning homosexual marriage.

reply to post by Wrath5639

Well speaking as a gay person I find the whole movement against gay marriage silly.
Nevertheless, silly or not, Scripture forbids divorce, and thus it deserves the same discourse.
It's a sinful lifestyle and it should be discouraged or relegated to the very private sphere.

(Note that my issue is not with divorced people, but rather with the lack of public consistency in so-called "conservative" reasoning.)

How about we get rid of Legal Marriage altogether and let couples unite in a marriage with suitable vows between them whether it be spirtual or other, it could even include a personal contract if they wish.

But then there is the matter of the govt., attorneys, ministers, etc making money from legal marriage and divorce!

Unfortunately, most divorces are due to the fact that most marriages are entered into lightly, or for the wrong reasons altogether, in my personal. private opinion.
People marry people they don't know very well, when they are still in the "infatuation" stage of relationships, before they have truly discerned whether or not this is the person that God has meant for them, or they marry someone they are sexually attracted to, or having a child with, or (insert reason).
If most people who married really understood marriage, the bonds of marriage, the lifelong commitment that was required of a holy marriage (if we are speaking Scripturally here), and that it was expected of them to be faithful, true, and exclusive to each other... that the vows that they repeated to each other weren't merely words, but true vows, then perhaps they would seek some kind of spiritual counsel when times were hard, instead of legal counsel, which in most states, a divorce is readily available in a month, tops.
Scripturally, man and woman, although created differently from each other, complement each other. This complementarity draws them together in a mutually loving union, called holy marriage.
This is my belief. Not to say it holds for everyone else posting here. We all have opinions...

reply to post by halfoldman


Hey there halfoldman,

I don't mean to be rude (but I may not be able to help myself) ... because I can only assume you wrote and posted this OP without thinking about the content at all.

After reading it several times ... just to make sure I hadn't misunderstood the intent behind the thread ... and please correct me if I'm wrong ... but what you have written seems to be saying that, I should have found it so difficult to get a divorce ... that I would be forced to stay married to a man who was consistantly unfaithful and physically/emotionally/psychologically abusive (even hitting me when I was pregnant) ... the same 'man' who I discovered had given me a STD when I was in hospital giving birth to our 'dead' son ... the same wonderful human being who took a double-barrelled shotgun to our oldest son (17yrs old at the time) because he hadn't asked permission for a friend to sleep over when he couldn't get a taxi home (because we were in bed and he didn't want to wake us up) ?

So please tell me I've read your OP all wrong ... because I cannot envisage any sane human being willingly wanting to make it more difficult for other women and men who are in similar situations to the one I was once in to get their 'holy wedlock' severed

The whole idea is like a sick joke (disgusting) ... you my friend must have a very blinkered view of life ... just try to think of the worst case senario's of any other bright ideas you might have before posting ... because I can pretty much guarantee some poor sod will be living that senario ... and that will make your thread beyond tasteless ... just like this one (and just in case you were wondering ... yes I am angry ... bloody angry ... and that takes an awful lot to do) !!!

Woody

reply to post by halfoldman


Ah well, its pretty hard to believe that divorce, and murder are pretty much the same sin worthy. Guess I'll have some pretty interesting company when my time comes, lol.

**Note, no sarcasm, just a humorous observation on my part.

reply to post by woodwytch




I am very glad to read that you have left that situation... Peace to you.

Originally posted by crazydaisy
How about we get rid of Legal Marriage altogether and let couples unite in a marriage with suitable vows between them whether it be spirtual or other, it could even include a personal contract if they wish.

Few people realize that the institute of marriage is first and foremost about children and their rights. You don't get it either (no offense meant).

We rarely think about it these days, but it's the primary purpose of marriage.

The rules often kick in in case of divorce -- which is the purpose of having the rules in the first place.

You can have 10,000 vows but that wouldn't produce alimony.

Originally posted by LadySkadi
reply to post by woodwytch

 

I am very glad to read that you have left that situation... Peace to you.

Thank-you ... and on a positive note I have learned much and become a stronger person for it (empathetic to others) ... that said I wouldn't recommend it as a tuition course

The life rule I live by is 'always look for the positive behind the negative' ... lifes biggest traumas provide the greates lessons (the person I am now - in the real world - is proof of that).

Woody

Marriage = one man, one woman, one time.
Been saying it for years. Don't believe it.
Just a tongue in cheek way to mock the hypocrisy of some who hold me to standards that they fail to uphold themselves.
It's not aimed at the battered wives. It's aimed at thrice married politicians on a moral crusade.

reply to post by woodwytch

That kind of anger makes it clear to me what kind of misery awaits when society becomes (or reverts to being) truely "scriptural". It really makes one feel empathy for women in history, before divorce became destigmatized and common place, I suppose after the late 1960s' sexual revoltution - and that "revolution" is the subject of so much conservative displeasure.
Yeah, I can also speak of the pain of young gay people killing themselves, of people being murdered and assaulted, rejected by parents and churches, of lack of status for loving, long-term gay relationships.
Painful issues indeed. But yet it's still OK to judge and say almost anything about gay people.
But yet divorce and remarriage are not targeted, although the scriptural basis is solid.
Rather divorce is seen as a symptom of other social evils.

Originally posted by traditionaldrummer

Still though, any kind of push to "ban divorce" is equally as repulsive as banning homosexual marriage.

Reverse that and you've got the point.

Banning homosexual marriage is as repulsive as banning divorce.

Banning divorce is as biblically correct as banning homosexual marriage.