posted on Sep, 16 2010 @ 06:13 PM
I met a woman at a bar recently, she is a new barmaid, and I was the customer. I started up a conversation with her, and we had a lot of common
interests and opinions, and we got on really well in my view. We chatted for hours in between her serving other customers. Whenever she finished
serving someone, she came back over to me to carry on the conversation.
I'm thinking about asking her on a date when I next see her there, but am a little nervous and unsure. I don't have much trouble starting up a
conversation with women, but I always have a lot of trouble trying to advance it from there, to ask for the first date, and then later to take it
further. I think I have trouble reading cues to know if they have any interest in romance rather than just friendship or a chat.
So one of the problems, is I got a bit paranoid, because she is a barmaid, it's her job to be nice and chat to the customers. So i'm thnking maybe
we only got on averagely, but she was boosting it as part of her job, and seeming more interested in talking to me than she really is. She is in a
position where she can't just tell me to get lost or similar.
Also, maybe even if she does actually find me interesting to talk to, maybe she's not interested in anything more than that. I didn't get any
obvious clues like compliments, or especially flirty chat. One thing I noticed though, is that many other times when I get chatting to women, they
mention they have a boyfriend early on, which I always take as them telling me to not get any ideas and it won't be more than conversation. This
woman mentioned that she'd split up with a boyfriend, so maybe she was signalling her availability to me, or maybe it was just part of
It would be pretty awkward if she turned me down, it's my local bar, and I don't know if I could go back in there if that happened. I'm thinking
more on the side of trying though, it's better to just find another bar if I have to, than miss out on a chance with a woman who seemed really
There is a bit of an age gap too. I'm late twenties, she's early twenties. That doesn't bother me though.
In the past I've had a few girlfriends, but not as many as other guys I know who haven't settled down yet. Mostly those women all made it fairly
obvious though, so I was not so nervous to ask. I feel the thing that has stopped me is most likely my nervousness and trouble reading
So any opinions are welcome, or questions for more details, but I do have some specific questions I'd like to ask, especially of the women.
If you are a barmaid, or you put yourself into her shoes, do you think you would 'fake it' much with customers? Would you carry on a chat for 5
hours with a guy you had no real interest in, or maybe just make an excuse to go do something else?
What kind of clues/hints would you give the guy to try and get him to ask you out, if you are not the type to ask first youself?
Any other comments would be interesting too.