It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Thank you.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Originally posted by yeahright
The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.
Yes. It's an absolute dictatorship, not a democracy. In my house, it's easy to avoid sanctions - do what you're supposed to. Situational, of course. Things come up, and that's understandable and sometimes excusable.
However, if in the opinion of the Supreme Benevolent Dictator a dependent has deemed to willfully ignore a "request" and would prefer to have the sanction imposed, I reserve the right to arbitrarily increase the severity of said sanction.
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. The time may vary without prior warning. Tough noogies.
As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.
Originally posted by LadySkadi
Before I comment, clarification please...
Is this about Religion and are the "children" the people and the "father" God?
(or)
Is this about Parenting?
Originally posted by 12m8keall2c
For the most part, with our three, it is/always was a sort of 3 strike dealio.
e.g.:
in the morning: You need to clean your room.
come mid-afternoon, with no apparent effort nor intent to accomplish such: Clean your room or you're grounded, this that or the other thing.
come evening, if it still wasn't done: you're grounded, this that or the other thing, and if it's not done before you go to bed we'll add this, that or the other thing.
It got done, usually soon after the initial warning, once they'd had a privilege or three taken away for a while.
Originally posted by Greatest I am
You are comfortable then with breaking your word and destroying any trust between you and your child?
You must be a theist. Most non believers have better morals and keep their word.
Originally posted by Tribble
reply to post by GypsK
It seems we are basically in an accord.
No offense here, please, I am gathering facts.
Is ones parental punishment a reversal parenting syndrome?
2-are your kids grown?= this would amplify your parental actions.
as for the reversal parenting sydnrome, my parents spanked me, their parents spanked them and so it goes generations before them... the further you go back, the harder the punishments. I myself was born in the 70ies, so that makes me a child of the "babyboom generation" lol. What I noticed is that a lot of parents from my generation desided never to spank or slap their kids, so maybe that is a reverse parenting syndrome in this generation of parents...
Originally posted by Jovi1
The whole point of the threatened punishment was to achieve a certain result. Clearly said child was willing to deal with said result with no concern over the punishment. So yes to modify the punishment to include not only the punishment stated but additional ones as well is quite appropriate. If the punishment is now unbearable to the child, they will think about if they wish to further risk non-compliance or not.
There is nothing word breaking here you not only gave them the punishment they thought they would have but increased it, you gave them more for the money than they bargained on. Your question is flawed to be quite honest, you wouldn't be calling those you disagreed with immoral and word breaking, if they told their child if you do this I am going to give you a new bicycle. The child does said thing and not only receives a bicycle, but a remote control car and new game for their playstation as well now would you?
Just because the punishment or reward is greater than that which is stated, you have not broken your word on it unless you have not given the stated punishment or reward.
Originally posted by GypsK
I do it a bit different with my daughter
I simply say "your not going outside before your room is cleaned"
If she doesn't do it, then she stays in, simple as that... it's up to her to deside how long she wants to stay indoors.
At first this had the effect of lots of footstomping and throwing doors... but after a few weeks she learned.
Each sunday morning I repeat it "clean your room if you want to go outside"....
the key is to stay consequent, when you tell the child it can't go outside before he does this or that, then don't let it outside! When you give in before the child does, it's a waste effort.
Originally posted by loam
I try to make the consequences 'fit' the crime. But sometimes my creativity doesn't kick in until the moment it's required.
Accordingly, no. There are times when the 'punishment' is not known in advance. But I also ALWAYS try to be fair.
For me, discipline is about instruction. I try my best to check my own personal emotional baggage at the door when dealing with my child's misbehavior.edit on 8-10-2010 by loam because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by Tribble
reply to post by GypsK
I was raised in the 70s. I screwed up and sometimes tested my parents.
If I didn't do whatever- Punishment!
It started with spankings, then hangars, until they would just grab a hot wheel track out of my closet.
I learned quick and was a good son, until 16 or so when I would borrow the car for the night or miss school. That's when a belt was used.
It may be some type of parental reversal syndrome, but my kids never needed more than a short spanking.