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Ahem, Mr Alien, before you drive that UFO in Earth Jurisdiction

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posted on Sep, 10 2010 @ 06:12 PM
You may think that the most important part of “operating” your UFO is to fire up the anti-grav unit, keeping you safe from those radical 90 degree turns. You cannot be more wrong.

First off, that UFO is going to need to be registered. Oh no, you do not own your UFO, you only lease it. If you have a bill of sale, we will take that and give you this fancy title and registration. Yearly you have to pay the government for the use of your UFO, sorry no free lunch here.

Second, you are going to need to be licensed. “Operating” a UFO is like “operating” any “motor vehicle”. You do not have the right to “travel”, which is a privilege afforded “people”. Just because you are an alien, does not give you any special rights.

Thirdly, you are going to need to have your “vehicle” inspected for emissions, if you plan on “operating” your UFO in any of our greener countries or states. This will be an annual fee that you can just pay one of our authorized emissions stations.

Fourth, you are going to have to “insure” your “motor vehicle”. This is a mandatory gambling component, for the “privilege” of “operating” a “motor vehicle”. We have this vast economic system set up, just in case you cause, are hit by someone else, or involved in an accident with an “uninsured motorist”. This is for your protection.

Now, if you have any questions, please head down to your local Department of “motor vehicles”. There are bureaucratically trained individuals there, which are willing to answer all of your questions. It will not take very long. But, do not forget to take a number. Click #1345. Now serving #4, now serving #4.

posted on Sep, 10 2010 @ 08:45 PM
Flag and starred, too bad aliens "don't exist" according to the government, they'd make billions

posted on Sep, 10 2010 @ 09:29 PM
If you're operating one of those Big A## Triangle or Mother Ship size UFOs,,, then you'll need
to get the Special, ACDL. ( Alien Commercial Drivers License ) which will require you to obtain
a U.A. and Blood Work.
Please summit results here on ATS.

S & F

edit on 10-9-2010 by guohua because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 10 2010 @ 10:28 PM
reply to post by saltheart foamfollower

lol, and dont forget, any nuclear fuel and you are not allowed in certain places..

Here in Australia being one such place..

But hey, its not all bad, we can still sell you the uranium if your short

yes, yes, I know to an Alien that would sound hypocritical, but you aint on Mars now mate, like it or leave!!

posted on Sep, 11 2010 @ 04:36 AM
Thanks for the comments folks.

I just HAD TO post in the aliens section, being a political debater and all I thought I would bring in the alien conspiracy.

posted on Sep, 11 2010 @ 09:03 AM
They have certainly been driving around earth like they own the place.

Who knows? Maybe they do.

Maybe we're just their tenants and no one bothered to tell us. In any case, they have certainly never asked for an invitation or permission to be here, or even to make open contact at all. This certainly leads me to wonder what their intentions are, and whether we are all living in some kind of dreamland and need to wake up and smell the coffee.

We really do need to know who all these aliens are, whaat they want and just what they're selling.

posted on Sep, 11 2010 @ 11:18 AM
This is what would happen if an alien craft had the misfortune to park irresponsibly in The City of London .

Barry and Garry Odson were out in thier clamping van on a particularly foul night. Near horizontal rain battered the cab of the clampers van as they sped to a very particular job, one neither brother thought they would ever have to do.
"Look Barry, I know we have a job to do, but you have to think about these things symbolicaly, you cant just go round clamping visitors... I mean technicaly as ambassadors for our nation, it would be a little antagonistic to apply local by laws to them is what I'm saying" Garry waffled to his brother. "I mean , this IS a first contact situation of sorts after all!".
Barry gazed out at the miserable evening, and considered his brothers words. " Oh I see your point Bro, no question, but like you said, we have a job to do. I hardly think its for the likes of us to work out the finer points of the symbology of our actions, when not doing the job means we dont eat, you know what I mean?" Barry turned in his seat to regard his brothers reaction. Garry however was not reacting to his brothers thoughts, because just at that moment they rounded a corner and came upon a sight that, while being as prepared as possible, awed both men to reverent silence.
The craft was sixty metres long, and ten metres across at its widest. From its tapered front end to its wedged rear its skin gleamed with reflected street light and hissed, rain vapourising on contact with its hull, and curling as steam into the air. Lights of purest white ran down its length on each side, and an almost inaudible hum filled the air around it.
The gobsmacked siblings climbed down from thier van , jaws slack with wonder and approached the vehicle.
"Holy crap... I never... I mean... its just.... " Barry trailed off mid scentence, the language to which he was accustomed utterly incapable of describing what he was feeling or seeing at that moment.
"I know...Brother , this is incredible!" Garry responded. Barry simply nodded, then shook his head a little and began to carefully peer at the space between the ground and the crafts hull.
"Well Garry , it looks like you win ." He said after a close inspection.
"What ? Huh?" Garry looked at his brother stupified with awe.
"We arent going to clamp this vehicle Garry. I just cant do it." said Barry with a smile .
"I dont believe it !!! Do you mean to tell me that my brother is passing up cash money just because of sheer awe?" Garry's expression had gone from stupifaction ,to utter confusion, and then to joy in a flash.
"No way bro!" Barry's smile had become impish as he cast glances toward the bottom of the craft "Its just theres nothing to clamp on this thing!".

posted on Sep, 11 2010 @ 12:23 PM
Whilst this is an hypothetical situation, it does have a ring of truth about it.

I have often wondered what would happen if someone invented a way of making their car just hover above the ground and fly off. They would be arrested mainly for two reasons : trespassing air space and defrauding the Revenue by withholding tax.

In a fairly recent case in the UK someone was arrested for using cooking oil to power their diesel engine. Following this, a stern warning was issued to the people by the government to the effect that this was illegal, because by using cooking oil meant that tax (otherwise spent on petrol/gas) was not being paid.

I could argue that I prefer using cooking oil because it is cheaper and that if I could not then I would not drive. Therefore the government would lose nothing. But sadly this argument is not acceptable to the authorities.

But it does beg the question of who owns air space. I am sure that the excuse of endangering air traffic will be put forward by the authorities. There will also be a number of local byelaws stopping anyone from lifting an object over a certain height. Now with the advent of spying drones , I wonder how long before they start banning kites.

There is a big political issue here that even aliens are not immune to.

edit on 11-9-2010 by crowdedskies because: (no reason given)

edit on 11-9-2010 by crowdedskies because: (no reason given)

edit on 11-9-2010 by crowdedskies because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 03:11 AM
Thanks again for all the comments folks.

Humor can be used to inform. Keep up the humor, we all need it these days.

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 03:37 AM
Alien response to Licensing Officer...

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 03:39 AM
reply to post by zorgon


And humor shall inform the world.

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 03:44 AM

Originally posted by saltheart foamfollower
And humor shall inform the world.

Ya know I try that... but seems many skeptics here just don't have a sense of humor

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 04:01 AM
reply to post by zorgon

If the skeptics were any good they would be writing papers instead of just linking to them


posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 04:04 AM

When entering our airspace you Must have flashing red green and white lights. This is for your own safety as anyone seeing you will assume you are just an airplane

Always puzzled me why everyone sees Aliens as being superior enough to come here, yet not smart enough to put on some running lights to hide in plain sight

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 04:09 AM
reply to post by zorgon

Wrong, I considered that idea ages ago...

Thought, now if I was an alien that had been coming here for 2000 years, how could I go un noticed?

Pretty dang easy really...Paint a big gold M on the side...

Act like a maccas add

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 04:10 AM
Dear Sir,

I`d like to apply for a flying license. I have no prior experience flying on earth but I have flown the Volcanoes of Venus and the vast cityscapes of Coruscant among many other maneuvres. Please also hand me a copy of the regulations for air traffic and submarine navigation. One more thing:

How high into the air does the border of a country stretch? I dont need to fill out entry-forms for each country I pass, do I?

posted on Sep, 14 2010 @ 04:17 AM
reply to post by Skyfloating

I dont need to fill out entry-forms for each country I pass, do I?

Of course you do..Are you a foreigner or something???

I can of couse give you copies of all the varied regulations, tarrifs, taxes, entry and exit fees etc, but that will cost you...Do you have cash or a card? Ohh, there is a fee for using alien currency, bridging finance and all that ya know..

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