Is there any behavior I should look for, from my brother, that might be a "red flag"I've been in therapy on & off for about 20yrs, mainly to do with the effects of what was finally diagnosed as what is now called "bi-polar disorder", but in the meantime, there was plenty of self-medication. I think I've been lucky to have mainly good therapists & some of it has been in a group setting, with people who had self-medication problems also. These stemmed from all sorts of issues such as, eating disorders, simple low self-esteem, full-on incipient schizophrenia, bizarre OCDs, etc. The common root however was OCD. Each of us just couldn't stop doing what we did, even tho many of us knew full well it was harming us. There were also a fair few who had been abused as kids.
Naturally, as you start to get an understanding of your problems, 1 of the 1st things you want to know is 'how is this affecting my kids?'
1 of my best therapists revealed that she had been "in love" with her abuser aged 13. TBH, I didn't pay much attention b/c it wasn't relevant to my problems, but I do remember her saying that the kind of child whom is most at risk is 1 that forms intense attachments to a single individual at a time, attempting to get all their social needs met by that person (which itself is a related form of OCD). Obviously, relationship dynamics are fluid, but she said, if a child or (& I'm guessing here, a naive adult), with whom you have a close relationship, suddenly drops you, chances are its because they're, not necessarily sexually, infatuated with someone else.
However, since such people are vulnerable to those who would abuse them, we should make it our business to find out 'who, how, what, when, why' about the situation.
Hope this helps.
