Rapture to occur next week..

reply to post by Prove_It_NOW


Any tips on getting into Heaven? I missed the rapture, so I've been standing outside the pearly gates trying to get through. That friggin bouncer, St. Peter or whatever will not let me in. He's being a real elitist turd. He looked me up and down and claimed that I wasn't good enough. I've NEVER been denied entry into a club before. This is ridiculous! I told him I wanted to see the manager and he said that he was "busy solving world hunger, poverty, and war." What the heck kind of answer is that? So I went to my last resort and flashed the guy. He then pulled a lever and now I'm stuck in this weirdly lit cave.

reply to post by MeSoCorny


You still waiting for Rapture???

Gawd, you been here so long you already missed dissclosure, next you'll miss the start of WW111..

Then maybe thats a good thing

reply to post by MeSoCorny

He's being a real elitist turd. He looked me up and down and claimed that I wasn't good enough. I've NEVER been denied entry into a club before.

Ahh but he knows if you've been good or bad..Hmmm, no I think thats santa...

Hey, does santa ignore you also??

Originally posted by CynicalM
reply to post by MeSoCorny

 

You still waiting for Rapture???

Gawd, you been here so long you already missed dissclosure, next you'll miss the start of WW111..

Then maybe thats a good thing

Naa....I know I missed out on the Rapture. So I did the next logical thing. I built a stairway of legos to Heaven and went to the gates myself.

As for disclosure, I guest I'll just have to youtube it or something. Maybe next time.

I don't want to miss the start of WWIII either. Is there any way you can get on a mailing list for when these things happen?

Originally posted by CynicalM
reply to post by MeSoCorny

 

He's being a real elitist turd. He looked me up and down and claimed that I wasn't good enough. I've NEVER been denied entry into a club before.

Ahh but he knows if you've been good or bad..Hmmm, no I think thats santa...

Hey, does santa ignore you also??

Yes.

I have no second line! Muah ha ha ha.......oh...wait.

reply to post by MeSoCorny


If I didn't no better, I'd assume there was a certain pattern to your life...

I'm guessing you were not the first born in the family...

reply to post by CynicalM


Uh, no, my parents were born first.....duh!

Maybe ol Pete didn't let me in because he could tell my ID was fake?

reply to post by MeSoCorny

Uh, no, my parents were born first.....duh!

Maybe ole Pete doesn't like smart ar, umm I suppose he was meant to forgive all sins so that doesn't work..

I'm at a loss...I'm sure it had nothing to do with me handing out your photo and suggesting old satan was training up some dissinfo agents on ATS.

reply to post by CynicalM


How could you?

And after all these years! Everything I've done for you! That time with that stuff and that thing with that guy. HOW DARE YOU?

Lucky for me, I already sold my soul to the devil for the low low price of a spatula, 50 cents, and a pint of B&J's.

reply to post by MeSoCorny

Lucky for me, I already sold my soul to the devil for the low low price of a spatula, 50 cents, and a pint of B&J's.

See, and now you have a nice warm room with a view, all thanks to me putting in a good word for you.

reply to post by mryanbrown


... to offend me is to offend yourself .. to attack what you do not understand is.. the sign of Fear ..and Yes you Fear .. and guess whom you fear .. who is the emboidiment of Fear .. yes you know.. and I shall tell you again .. God.. is and Always shall be . so fear God for he holds the keys and all whom turn from God shall not be of the chosen .. and so I pitty you and forgive you for your sin .. and Bless You and Yours for the hope that I shall again see you in the kingdom of God.. and peace I prey shall then be within your soul .. Love, Thy Neighbor ...be it .. Good or Evil .. Left or Right .. Top or Bottom ... and I say again .. Fear me for I believe and I knowest All... Allah .. is God and you are not I... so look to a mirror and judge thy self ...for ye can not judge less ye judge thy self.. and only God be the judge .. on Judgement Day .. so repent so that you may one day be happy .. or forever burn in the Fire...

reply to post by MeSoCorny

Lucky for me, I already sold my soul to the devil for the low low price of a spatula, 50 cents, and a pint of B&J's.

BTW, a pint I can understand but a spatula?? Is it against T&C to explain that request?

reply to post by Vonour


Von......you and Pep are the same person aren't you?

Or relatives? What's the deal?

Oh and um, rapture.

Originally posted by CynicalM



See, and now you have a nice warm room with a view, all thanks to me putting in a good word for you.

BTW, a pint I can understand but a spatula?? Is it against T&C to explain that request?

You did no such thing. You attempted to bring me down and failed miserably...because I was already down! Ahahahaha. Wait....

I can't talk about the spatula. This isn't a secure network. I'm afraid this place has been bugged. It's been wired too....and tapped. I'll have to send the details to an undisclosed location located next to the McDonald's on the corner of 3rd and 5th.

Oh, and um, rapture.

reply to post by MeSoCorny

I'll have to send the details to an undisclosed location located next to the McDonald's on the corner of 3rd and 5th.

No problems 99, when you get to McDonalds order a big mac and fries..
Eat it, then loudly say it's the best burger you've ever tasted...

I'll know it's you, and make contact...

Originally posted by CynicalM

No problems 99, when you get to McDonalds order a big mac and fries..
Eat it, then loudly say it's the best burger you've ever tasted...

I'll know it's you, and make contact...

I'm on it, 89.

oh and um, rapture.

A Rapture Remembered...
*BIAD sat back on the old rocking chair and looked out at the setting sun,
the four children sitting on the porch floor in dusty dungarees -waited for the
man/girl to continue his tale*

"ah'll been around nineteen, when my first Rapture took place..."
the eyeless wig-wearing freak said softly "... it was the year they sent up
the first moon-landing rocket" The warm late-summer breeze ruffled BIAD's
short red dress and the children wondered if this day would last forever.

"I had just come back from the Supermarket ,when it came over on the
radio that the Rapture was just about to start. Used to be, it would be shown
on the TV, but I know that nowadays, it's on that infernal 'internet'-thingy"

Joshua, the eldest child -sighed and pondered why the writer would want them to
wear this 'country-hick' attire... he glanced at his skateboard leaning against
the balustrade and hoped the old duffer would finish soon.

"Anyways... my Ma and Pa were out doin' the bars again and so I went outside
to see if I could get a look at this strange event. Traditionally and those religeous
comics will bear me out, the Rapture occurs over a major city and so I guessed I'd
see the tail-end of it out here in the boonies"

BIAD rubbed his chin and the faint hint of stubble rasped at his hand, Josh hoped
the old smelly man/girl would use a cutthroat razor on it tonight... and fail.
"That's when ah got 'swooped up' and taken to a big white room"
BIAD leaned forward and the children leaned closer, their eyes and ears wide and
Judy, all pig-tails and freckles wrickled her nose at the faint whiff of whisky.

"There was this guy... big fella with the name of Pete or Petey... He was wrestling
a guy to the ground with one of those T-shirts you can buy down at 'Walmart'... you know?
It was a yella-color and had written one word on the front 'MeSoCutey' !"

"Well, I watched as this Petey drag this guy in the T-shirt over to a door in the floor, he
flicked a switch and 'snap'! the guy was gone"
BIAD nodded to emphasize what he hoped the kids were thinking, Joshua knew that
the hermaphrodite wouldn't condone what he was REALLY thinking.

A Bluebottle buzzed by and landed on the mesh door, another listener to the yarn.
"So it shows yer'..." BIAD said softly and lit up another PallMall "... you can never be
too careful, when you're goin' to Heaven. When it's your turn, a swift kick to the..."
BIAD shuffled in the creaking chair and pointed downwards with a long red-nailed finger
"... and big Pete won't be able to stop yer' goin' through those Pearly Gates"

"It was a one-off, I'm sure..." BIAD smiled and flicked ash onto Judy's faded denim,
"... ah'll wager nobody wears a T-shirt like that to the Rapture Room anymore"

The cigarette smoke drifted upwards and not unlike the 'forrest Gump' ending, the camera
pans away into a blue summer sky.

As the credits roll, the audience ponder what Joshua will do that night.

Originally posted by Alethea
OK so we have all had some fun with this thread. But if any are interested in the symbolic meaning of the Trumpets and the significance of it in this day and time, there is a different interpretation on this thread.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

The Trumpets are not announcing the "Rapture" because the event that this is predicated on, comes unannounced when it occurs.

The Trumpets are announcing Bride Week!
The announcement of Jubilee occurs ten days later.

So, you're saying the OP got it wrong? Damn. I thought I'd been raptured.

reply to post by wcitizen


I think everyone here agrees that God loves Jazz and even though
many discussions were had about what symbolism would be used
to proclaim the beginning of 'Rapture-Week'... God insisted that the
horn section would have their day.

reply to post by A boy in a dress

You know these people are amazing, now that it's out. A public statement, we are sorry, here is the truth.
You won't see that from them, they can't be any other way, it just like they are. They are unable to feel at all, you can't blame a robot, really. I am begining to understand them, they can't be, they shaped like this.

Why hide it, it's going to get out anyway sooner or later and when the time comes they will be targets. Target practice. The target is red, they are the target, they don't notice it. The power is the target, the right hand. Like a bull when he see's red he go's for the target. There is a way out for them to come clean, when the dark will set they are in big trouble. Stupidity runs high in the enligten class. It's the price for arogance and twisting the truth.