I live away from people, detached through choice, I don't live in my country of birth and the language here is not one I can speak well or even close
to passable. The cultural outlook and behaviour of those who live here is completely alien to anything I've ever known and I often wonder how basic
assumptions on functionality tend to be had by those indigenous to this region. I live in a particularly inaccessible part of town and have no passers
I have a wife whom I love - she's an absolute workaholic who only has time to spare away from her choice as a hefty toiler with me for a few hours a
day at best. This we share in relative peace and serenity.
I disowned my family over a decade ago and left my dwellings with them even earlier at the age of 15, have lived on the streets, lived with the
criminal section of society and have dined equally with the cream of the crop on many occasions also.
Almost every hour of my waking day is spent in absolute solitude.
I drink too much and smoke too hard.
I am alone in every possible way conceivable.
And I love it!!
I don't have to react to the tiny dramas that others bring into my life and I don't have to have an opinion on the minutia that fills the humdrum
existence of everyday life. My comments are my own and they are backed up by my observations and by outlooks which I concur with through study.
Now don't get me wrong, I can easily interact with a large group and have flowing charisma which either sets me apart from a group or gels the group
together - and I choose which to be depending upon the situation. I can be a master manipulator in any group where I am physically present regardless
of cultural background, prejudice or intellectual prowess. I can shine like a star and be the centre of attention for any occasion and am often
invited to parties or events which I often choose to shun.
I enjoy my solitude.
The reason I enjoy it is because I don't have to deal with people in a face-to-face situation where I can see, hear, smell, touch and deduce their
hidden agendas with every second that passes.
Some of us just aspire to be.
Now you; my internet friends, enemies and otherwise are a good outlet for my character. I can deduce, assume, conclude and retract everything I get
from you without ever meeting you. I get to take you purely from your text.
I don't need to listen to your inflection, see your outfit, smell what you've eaten or have applied to your body, touch your mobile phone with it's
worn keys or background image or apply prejudice upon the surroundings you choose to be in.
I take you for what you are - who you present here is what I take as your character and I can be wrong with it all!!
For me it's refreshing. I still apply my usual methods but can't be as assured with them as I would be with meeting you. Sometimes I get in a
terrible fix as I don't understand who someone is - but believe me, were I to meet you I'd get you in a heartbeat and would not feel as much
closeness to you as I have for you from a distance.
Sometimes being alone is the best thing for someone to be.
I certainly relish this opportunity I have as it will pass and I will be back into a situation were I must deal
somewhere else in the world. I'll do it as I always have before and I'll do it well. However believe me when I tell you that being back to my own
space, time and outlook is all that's on my mind when I'm in such situations and because I have that chance just now I am taking full advantage of
If anyone reads this piece which sounds hugely egotistical (which every piece is anyway) please spare me the favour of stars or flags and just share
your thoughts upon what I've said or your own thoughts about this kind of situation.
I do enjoy solitude - but I enjoy it amongst others of similar stature