I Don't Have Any Friends...

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posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:42 AM
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Dream is the first step to succeed. Don't lose hope. These are hard times and you are not alone. Do everything to survive. Human always needed another human for help and together helping each other it gets easier.




posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:52 AM
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Don't feel that low for yourself I mean seriously. The minute you start interacting with people, I am sure you will start making many new friends.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:53 AM
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Though many people consider me their friend, I don't really consider them MY friends. It's just always the way I've been. I love hanging around people but don't go out of my way to make or have friends.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:55 AM
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No friends? So, what's the problem?

None of us have really "true friends" in any great numbers.

The way to discover if a friend is a "true friend" is to ask them to do a favor for you that inconveniences them slightly in some way. This can be a friend killer. If you are not willing to do this perhaps it is because you know already they will respond negatively. When we have a need to request such a favor we almost always resort to asking it of a family member. That is where you may find a "true friend".

My theory is that we all have many acquaintances and very few friends in our journey through life. This is not to diminish the value of acquaintances. We can all learn so much from our acquaintances. They are valuable to us to a point.

A person's "most valuable friend" in life is a person with whom you've formed a life-long relationship. A loving spouse, who supports you, right or wrong, is the crown jewel of a happy life. I have had one of these treasures for over 45 years!

Only one other friend is more valuable than a loving spouse. That "true friend" is your personal relationship with the Lord God Almighty.




posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:58 AM
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Originally posted by kevinunknown
NO!,

This is going to sound very insensitive, but really what happening to ATS that some guy can log on and say “I have no friends” and get 35 flags, its like the “look at my pretty picture threads” and the “I am the start child threads”, not what I joined ATS for. At the very least this should be in BTS.

But no now it’s full of a bunch of equally lonely people attempting to do the Good Samaritan thing by giving this guy advice. Each one trying to outdo the other over how much good advice he or she can give whilst being so nice their avatar should be on the cover of every thank you card on earth. It’s like some of you have just been bursting with anticipation to make use of some of those memorised Chinese fortune Cookies you’ve been eating alone for the past year looking for inspiration. This thread has became full of do gooders competing with each other in a who is the nicest of the nice competition, its selfish and not doing this guy any favours.

OP, this will sound harsh but somebody needs to say it, pull you together and get a life. If you have a job, just start actually talking to your work colleagues and ask about going out for a pint. You are bound to have at least one person you sort of know so ask him or her out for a drink or even try talking to them.

PS, why did I not get the memo about ATS starting up a lonely hearts forum.


That's quite a poor call there kevinunknown.
I don't know what you're seeing but I can see a bunch of people contributing to a thread either because they felt a predominant connection with the words the OP so eloquently posted, or they genuinely wanted to let this person know a thing or two about living a happier life from their own point of view. Perhaps both of those simultaneously. I know that's at least how I behaved.

Look at it how you want though.
Words can be elusive, funny things, kevin. You could put things one way to a particular person and they will not take a single thing away from what you have told them. On the other hand, if you try and reach out to a person by attempting to establish a meaningful connection instead of plainly laying all the cards on the table and straight up telling them what they should or shouldn't do, you might have a better shot of communicating with them.
People see the world in vastly different ways.

I mean, I love being straightforward, nevertheless it's not always the most effective method of getting a message across.
Sometimes people just need to hear things explained a little differently for something to finally .. click.

So we're all basically pitching in, trying to offer the OP some of our own perspective, just trying to help.

I wouldn't get so anal over people doing things differently. Undoubtedly there will always be a more pronounced ego to some peoples words than others, but it's great if you can outdistance the trivialness of such negativity and see the positivity (that you seem to hate so much) that people are trying to share.
Just a thought.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 08:59 AM
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Well welcome to ATS,
you should do fine here with friends



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:01 AM
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we all have people who sometimes care, we call these "friends", as i grew older i realised that my perception of "friends" was wrong, and that people i thought were my friends, were actually just there because they were leeching off me, lived near or had nobody else. i do suffer from depression (it may be bi-polar, but im not going to get it diagnosed, and neither am i going to self diagnose myself), now, when i come onto many social networking sites (mainly msn messenger, however i dont use facebook, myspace or bebo) and i notice how i could come online, and not one person would say hi or how are you doing, it would always have to be me who started the conversation, but, now i realise what a real friend is, and the truth is, i don't have any!

now, i'm going to leave you with a quote that my father once said to me when i was 14 years old; "if you knew everything your friends said about you, then you would have no friends" he was not saying that my friends said bad things about me in particular, but rather that most people talk about you behind your back, and that a lot of people are snakes in the grass, and with that nugget of knowledge, i shall leave, i hope you read this and that it will help you, although i fear it may make things worse!



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:04 AM
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You should be thankful.

Friends are overwhelmingly the ones who have 'screwed me over' in life, far more so than strangers.

So start getting ready to have friends take advantage of you, I looked at your friends list, it is getting bigger!

I even added my name!



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:08 AM
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reply to post by AProphet1233
 


Supurb idea! I am with you, please keep me in the loop as your discovery unfolds, and I friended you!

Hope your not just making fun of us fellow loosers, and in reality you have skads of friends and admirers...



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:10 AM
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reply to post by butcherguy
 
Ya "friends" will do that,. just look at my signiture
I have grown tired of superficial friendships.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:12 AM
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reply to post by AProphet1233
 


I think there's a major disconnect going on right now. Now whether it's the economy, the brink of war, modern technology (where we're losing our social skills) or some invisible cosmic ascension, a lot of people are feeling very separated. The future is so very uncertain.

I know it doesn't necessarily help to hear but, you're really and truly, not alone.
I go days without speaking to people. It's lonely but then when I do start talking to my friends, I remember why I don't.
Many aren't on the same page as I and I.....don't even know what friggin book I'm reading.
So.....rest assure, you are among a lot of confused loners.

I just heard a line yesterday: We're all sitting on the "G" waiting for the "O".
I thought that was perfect because that about sums it up!

We are loved though. If nothing else, know that.

[edit on 31-8-2010 by Human_Alien]



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:14 AM
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reply to post by Amagnon
 


Your avatar shows a woman -- chances are you are one. They just don't get it. They don't realize how important it is to be STUPID!!!



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:16 AM
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everyone hates me, but that is okay because i hate them too. mentally my peers aren't on the same level as me, so i don't really want to kick it with most of them anyway. everyone these days is too caught up in superficial material BS. look at my cheesy tool bag tapout shirt and my ned hardly sunglasses, bro!! there is more to life than this. everyone throughout history who was ahead of their time were ridiculed and thought to be insane and delusional... sometimes i got to wonder, am i crazy or is everyone else? sometimes i feel like the last sane rational person on the planet.

[edit on 31-8-2010 by 2weird2live2rare2die]



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:18 AM
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reply to post by Human_Alien
 


after reading your post i realise why at times i dont connect to MOST people, as i'm still living in this small valley with a few thousand people, most are not very... intellectual, now i'm not saying i'm a genius or special, i'm no braggadocchio, but i am far deeper than 99.9% of these people. i find it rather refreshing to come to the internet, and realise that i can connect to people, whether it be here on ATS, on Youtube, or MSN, that i can relate to, people who i can have a decent coversation with, there are maybe one or two local people who i can say the same thing about. but when around these people i call "friends" i find myself having to dumb myself down, if i talked how i wished to, a way in which i could express truly what im trying to say, it would go completely over their heads, it's sad.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:19 AM
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reply to post by 2weird2live2rare2die
 


seems like this person with a quote as a name beat me to the punch!



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:20 AM
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I'm always looking for more people for Dungeons and Dragons and board game night over here.


Cheer up man, ATS people care, and they don't even know you. But that is what a good community is.



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:21 AM
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To be honest, you only have yourself to blame.

I don't mean to sound insensitive but friends don't just appear into your life, it takes time and effort to develope a relationship with another person. After all the effort, its worth it, I have friend who are more like brothers to me. I read a post by someone who said that Humans like to be alone, this is not true we are pack animals.

You need to get out! perhaps disconnect from ATS for a while, go to some clubs, talk to people, reassert relationship with family members.

Loneliness is the worst kind of poverty.

Peace and good luck.
ALS



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:25 AM
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I have had a few spells in life where I didn't have friends. One was when I was disabled (which I am not anymore) and I had NOBODY.

But slowly I have come into having friends. I think it is important to have a base of friends that really want to know you or enjoy the same things you do. Just a few good friends is all you need. It's better than 100 "friends", of the internet kind.

I would suggest going to Meetup.com and finding a group of people that enjoy the same activities or NON activities. I would also suggest opening yourself up to the world more. I know it sounds weird, but people respond better to you when you're not so hard on yourself, learn to drop judgment and anger.

The more you stay SOLO, the worse you're going to be at being social. It really is a SKILL, and those skills don't come naturally to many....I'd say most.

Plus, the world is disconnected these days. People are stressed out and closed off more than when I was younger. Things really have changed, and anyone who was born in the 70's can attest to that.

But I've noticed that if you work on YOU and YOUR own peace of mind , and do YOUR thing, people are attracted to it. I've seen in time again that when I am relaxed myself and not thinking how much the world 'sucks', the world treats me better than it would if I was walking around thinking negative stuff.

And stepping away from the internet is very important in the process. There's many great things out there waiting for you. A girl (or guy) just waiting for your special brand of awesomness to appear.

So go be someone's light in this screwed up world. It's as much a gift to them as it is to you.

ETA: Had to add something. I don't know if you're religious or not. But if you're not I would suggest any books by a guy named Eckhart Tolle. If you're open to Eastern "Philosophies" it might help with feelings of being 'disconnected'.

And joining a gym is always a great way to get you back into swing (assuming youre not disabled)...


Okay I'm done rambling...LOL





[edit on 31-8-2010 by Prove_It_NOW]



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:26 AM
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reply to post by AProphet1233
 


lol I felt like that for a little while recently and I will tell you this.... sadly everyone is out for themself and all your "beliefs" of being "good" are erroneous.... they will find something to b itch about lol.... the more good you try to do the more f ing up you will accomplish.... the world isnt ready for your bs so " do as others do and think how you think" -Robert Green- One of my friends crashed my car yesterday into another friends car.... feels like a conspiracy.... lol but its not.... life has ups and downs... you gotta roll with it and wait until thingz flip in your favor..... sorry but life aint fair... once you can accept that you can enjoy life for what it is



posted on Aug, 31 2010 @ 09:29 AM
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Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
I don't mean to sound insensitive but friends don't just appear into your life, it takes time and effort to develope a relationship with another person. After all the effort, its worth it, I have friend who are more like brothers to me. I read a post by someone who said that Humans like to be alone, this is not true we are pack animals.
ALS


a relationship is different to a friendship, i have had friends who i thought of like brothers to me, known them for years, but things happen.

correct, we do rely on each other as a pack, but underneath it all we are greedy and selfish. you see very few people who will work equally as a pack and then reap the benefits as a team. hence why there is an order of importance.

i once knew a man who was in a money syndicate for a raffle they had once a month at the rugby club, when they eventually won, one of the people on the syndicate ran off with the money.

i could rattle off an unlimited amount of examples but im not going to, the truth is, we are very complex, and you cannot be so one dimensional as to call us just "pack animals"

[edit on 31-8-2010 by Dr Slim]






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