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Just me owning my true feelings

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posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 09:53 PM
I'm looking for like-minded people who live near Earth and more specifically San Francisco. I could start this a million ways. I despise trying to use advanced vocab or run-on sentences to sound superior, I'm just putting this is plain terms. I want to know people who truly see the planet/universe as the scum that it is.

I took myself to Baptist Church from 5yo-17yo basically agencies/authorities instill that the bastard child needs God. Years sitting alone amidst families & care-free brats listening to sermons about a horrible murder torture that took place two thousand years ago. Always thought it was strange to look at these mothers/fathers accountants doctors police mayors nurses and there was no emotion from them that the man they called Jesus was murdered tortured. They were just thinking about how they were gonna load their crazy brats into their new mini-vans and Infiniti's. How much time wasted repeating like script "he died for your sins"... it was ridiculous to me then. If it was their little brat rag nailed on a wall they would care a little more. It was pointless and made no impact to my daily life.

I spent these years in between getting a biz ba and studying a bunch of spiritual crap I now see was useless because it served no purpose. Hindi? Buddhism? Gandhi? Gurdjieff? Jung? Bailey? Blavatsky? Cayce? Wilcock? and don't forget the Greek philosophers I hated reading about in college. I act as the constant variable to all of these ideas. I've explored them all, yet my SELF and my FEELINGS are still the same. I RECEIVED NO FEELING FROM READING OR EXPLORING THE MEANING OF LIFE THROUGH AVAILABLE TEXTS AND DATA. I'm just a regular person and what has been said about life has made no sense to me.

Our beliefs and feelings are based on our limited existence and limited receptacle of our own memories. Most don't know what it feels like to have your genitals cut off, yet many people in the history of the earth have felt that. Most don't have the vivid memory of torture and yet that has occurred countless times on this planet. Countless torture thats occured on other planets galaxies universes. Just multiply this earth and the torture occurred here by a million planets galaxies universes.

And if you can't do that then you can't imagine being a 5 year old and getting raped and mutilated. I only say this because your reality of going to Applebee's or Red Lobster is not all there is in this world. But it's all that you know. Until you can really know and empathize others torture can you really know that the world is just scum. And if you so happen to not be experiencing scum at this time, it's just a fluke. Because at the same time you're at Abercrombie, somebody is getting their head or genitals cut off. And that's just the world that "GOD" created for us. This is the world, the scum world of middle class joy and babies be sodomized during the Academy Awards. Yes, right now right this minute. It's reality. People being tortured. You can't stop it. It's not you and therefore you can't care or stop it.

This is the world that the ultimate universe gave to us. WAKE UP WAKE UP, torture dismemberment and sodomy exist but you know about it and you don't care. Yet it's what the universe is. The sickest things that have occurred are in fact the universe. It's just energy playing out in its scum way.

Do you want to keep your child safe from getting kidnapped sodomized and murdered? Theres nothing you really can do because this is the world we're in and you just don't want to think about it. Yet it could happen to your and yours everyday. You think the universe cares about your child but doesn't care about Polly Klass or Caylee Anthony? The universe doesn't care about you. Never will.


All laughable.

[edit on 28-8-2010 by MyProblemWithEvil]

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:11 PM
reply to post by MyProblemWithEvil

Your deep focus on `dark matters` ..... is turning your heart cold.

Just don`t be scum to others ..... its a start. See where it leads.

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:12 PM
What makes me wonder is why did all the evil people become TPTB yet the average 9-5 god worshiping joe gets nothing,

Maybe evil is the way and people who belive in God/religion and basically being good humans are actually on the wrong path?

Just a thought still but it makes you wonder, Evil seems to be winning the good fight?

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:31 PM
reply to post by MagickWithoutTears

IMO evil is a word that people use in order to commit horrible acts, a separation of self, and the allowance of deeds that are known to be wrong.

As long as we allow ourselves to believe that this is a problem, we will continue on this path.

People need to own up to whether or not they are bad people, and give the good people space to do the right thing. Its 2 separate things, that have no right being combined, or used as an excuse.


posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:35 PM
Wow. Well, I believe in stopping to smell the roses now and then.
You should try it.

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:50 PM
I'm not that simply satisfied ignoring people being tortured while I smell roses. But wow.

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:54 PM
reply to post by MyProblemWithEvil

I'm not that simply satisfied ignoring people being tortured while I smell roses. But wow.

If you are deliberately misinterpreting the metaphor than stop it, it does not make for good conversation in the philosophy forum and if you have truly misinterpreted the metaphor than only more experience in life and continued growth as a person, will help with that lesson...

[edit on 29-8-2010 by LadySkadi]

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 10:57 PM

Originally posted by MyProblemWithEvil
I'm not that simply satisfied ignoring people being tortured while I smell roses. But wow.

Are you wallowing in self pity/self hate for `your` perceived inaction.

Misery loves company .

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:07 PM
A society can only be form by family units. thus the close knitted family unit is vital and critical to any society that seeks to grow and evolve. It is from the respected needs and views of each unit that forms the regulations for all within that society to adopt so that everyone can live at least in peace if not in harmony.

Each family unit defines its own views, but none is bigger than the whole. Through wise rational debate and discussion will the direction of that society heads for, come hell or highwater.

Evil can only exists in darkness,decisions made behind the doors instead of open debate, but does not operate out of a vacuum. It is thus the responsibility of each one in a particular society to expose such evils where it happens, so that corrective measures be made for progress.

If not, that ultimately, that society is doom, as evil is nothing more than deceptions and lies, and is never sustainable. Truth will always prevail and then all hell will break loose.

Today, in many societies, it may seem evil is flourish well and had gain new adherents daily through the branch of greed. But as mention, evil is never sustainable. Someone will have to pay the price for the silence and apathy, and sad will it be that our innocent next generations will be the ones to pay....

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:11 PM
Since your original post was so harsh and blunt, I hope you don't mind if I am blunt in my reply.

If you truly care so deeply for the deprived and underprivileged in the world then why don't you go and do something more productive about it then complaining on the Internet.

Here is the web site of the Red Cross where you can go and help victims of disasters.

If you would like to join the International peace core and wear an orange jacket while standing in front of an Israeli tank then you can contact someone here

Here is the web site of a US based charity that helps prevent child abuse, go and sign up

It is possible to help end all of the things that you mention in your post, just go and do it!

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:22 PM
Even though I don't particularly relate with your OP because I have a "clearer" view of who I am, I still appreciate your expression. People, stop bashing her. She's obviously having a hard time finding her way through the universe, so don't make it worse.

For those posters trying to suggest her to change, it's useless. People can only change if they use their free will to make it so. I'm pretty sure she already knows about charities, religious paths, and other various "salvations". She said so in her post.

Don't worry OP. This world will not change just like people won't change unless they want to. Just find peace within yourself.

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:30 PM
reply to post by MyProblemWithEvil

It sounds as if you have a very compassionate heart, and to be truly aware and concerned about all the suffering that is going on in this world is a admirable quality. But you must learn to act on that compassion and seek to change these things about our species. If you do not do that, then what good does your compassion and awareness have?

I believe at a root level, all religions are equally helpful and share a commonality of teaching about compassion/love for others and self. It is the people who misinterpret or distort these teachings, to benefit their own beliefs, who mess up these great teachings for others.

I myself have found Buddhism to be the least distorted/tampered with throughout history, and the clearest path out of all the religions. You said you have studied it, but have you practiced it?

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:38 PM
I hope I didn't come across to strong in my above post, but I would like to try and point out that complete and utter nihilism, thinking that the whole world is completely screwed and you can't do anything about it is an very easy viewpoint to take especially around a certain age, and that it is a viewpoint that can lead to unhelpful apathy.

The fact that the poster has the resources to even post a thread on an Internet forum means that they have been born into a privileged position not shared by 72% of the entire world.

The fact is that you can, if you choose to , do something about these problems and however small a contribution you make it's better then nothing.

Even if you don't feel that you can make a contribution on a global scale you can bet our life that there are people living within a few miles (or even meters) of you that would appreciate your time and effort to help them.

posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 11:48 PM
reply to post by davespanners

At first I thought I'm with you dave.

Then I decided this is kind of like therapy for her perhaps a not so private online diary.A vent an out.

Perhaps we should give her the "Oprah' and not the Dr Phill get real talk.

So here is the Oprah angle for the OP

You have suffered a lot and I hope you are able to work through this and "let your spirit soar" (Oprah).

Like many you have come to realise religion is BS.
Doesn't mean life is all doom and gloom.

You should refocus some energy on appreciating the selfless everyday heroes that live along side the sick scum.

Because you were not nurtured you obviously have not developed emotionally and are stuck in cynical teenage mode emotionally.

Not your fault.But something to work through.
Gods can't save you but you can.

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 12:30 AM
I don't think anyone really "gets you" because you are not a feeling person. You are spouting off about the atrocities that exist even in places so far removed from Earth that I realize what you are doing here, you are trying to feel.

You are so self-absorbed with thoughts of Truth that it takes such a bitterly cold outlook to comprehend it. I am serious because this is a very serious display you're doing, can you not see that?

First off, you do have issues with materialism: your focus on the "better off" is way off. You are envious, but sadly envy does not constitute emotions or empathy. You seem to think anger is an emotion that justifies that you really care, but that is your trap.

I care, I really do, but I carry what you seem to be missing and that is Faith and Fortitude. I do hope you do not believe that babies are being raped near you do you? How could that be, because if you had fortitude you would leap to your feet and prevent it. If a child in your community was raped and the culprit is still out there does that mean all children are going to be raped? NO! If you got raped as a child does that mean all children are now suddenly susceptible because your caregivers were unable to protect you? NO! You are eliciting anger as a means to caring and it is not the Truth, you really do not care you only want to feel.

Something tells me that you may be on the verge of two directions. One will be that you snap and become lost forever in your inability to feel outside of yourself. The other is that you snap and finally wake up to the fact that as a child you were abandoned. You were left to a higher power at a time when you should have been nurtured and you shut off the ability to feel.

I could pinch you but that is not what I mean by feeling. I could offer you my hand but I bet you would pull it away. Do you see the difference?

I have met you before. Not you personally, but others like you. Angry and hurtful. You use your pain and anguish as a shield and you are Mean! Really mean! You know exactly what kinds of words it takes to cause emotional people to rush to your side, but deep down you do it because you hate them. I know you through others because the world is full of your kind. Resentful, bitter, and sweet all packaged up like a perfect waste of human achievement, and probably quite cute too in a "rough" sort of way.

My advice to you is simple! Cut it out! Cut out your heart because it isn't working! There are no other options here, you hurt and you think you feel so you make others hurt. Get real girl!

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 12:55 AM
reply to post by MyProblemWithEvil

People aren't the problem. According to this Universe, there is no problem. Hey, maybe some of us got sucked into a wormhole along our astral journey and wound up in the negaverse. Evil doers succeed here, because they are smarter than everyone else (and by smart, I mean better at manipulating other people's minds).

Honestly, I do feel the pain of people, and I don't want to care anymore, because it is making me age, my soul is like a wilting flower. I used to be so happy when I was blind, when I was just a kid, but then again, no, I take that back, I cried everyday as a little girl, because I could not understand the world. I still don't understand the world.

Yeah, life sucks, this dimension sucks. The only thing that can keep you going, I believe, is to acknowledge that YOU ARE what you feel in your heart, and if you feel Love, or want to feel whatever Love means to you, then there is somewhere you belong, and chances are, it isn't here, in this crappy Universe.

Pay close attention to your dreams, sometimes, you may find that listening to them can open doors to your true destiny. Might as well get into something while you pass the time in this physical realm.

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 05:01 AM
Wow girl you are always so cheerfull, I used to get draged to church to when young, and it sucked. But you learn something mostly that people dont believe in god or other like concept's they but pay lip service to such things, the most religious person I have ever known was my grandfather, and he diden't take it to seriously. But yes your are right the universe/planet is scum, you have seen this now and know this. Everything dies because everything deserves to die...You want the world to be rosy and peachy again, never was like that, only in your own mind, and you mind is your world. Focus, remain calm and tranqiul, create a path for yourself and follow it, death is of no Consequence and misery can be atacked, force and fighting solves everything if directed. But watch what demons you go up against some are not worth fighting with or for. If you can imagine all the 5yr old of the world getting tortured, raped, and mutilated....Then you can imagine all the 5yr old's of the world going to the park playing and eating icecream....and if you can do that then you to can imagine yourself doing those things as well.

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 05:13 AM
The OP is both right and wrong.
True - unspeakable things have happened throughout history and are happening NOW all around us. But if it's not happening to us in our personal reality, we sometimes prefer not to know.
But in my work - which is supporting families through long term and terminal illness, I also see daily many examples of love and devotion and simple, pure, goodness.
There is both light and dark in our world. I pity the person who can't see the former. But also, such people and their negativity are a bad force on this planet, a waste of space, a drain of energy. They are in fact, lower than the 'scum' they rant on about.

[edit on 29-8-2010 by starchild10]

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 05:35 AM
reply to post by MyProblemWithEvil

A very wise post.

Now, imagine if you will that at one time there was only one consciousness, some call "god'.

That consciousness split into zillions of separate little entities, "souls".

I suspect that each one of us will experience all the lifetimes of every splintered soul for the experience.

In other words, my next "lifetime" I may come back as you and you as me and this will go on and on and on and on and on and on with all of us.

In other words, and it's only a guessing theory, each of us will experience everyone else's "reality experience" at one time or another.

So, even if this is remotely possible, it might pay to smile at that person you pass in the street, pick up that apple, someone next to you drops or grab that person about to walk off the curb onto a speeding bus, for that person you smile at, help, assist or save may just be you.

If there is one thing I have found in my almost six decades of life this time around, it is that fact is often stranger than fiction and what goes around truely comes around.

posted on Aug, 29 2010 @ 06:48 AM
Lots of sodomy references in that opening post. I did notice that. Maybe a third more than I would've expected.

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