What are we going to do about our children?

Do we care that our kids are being distorted?

When children witness their parents fighting, they become distorted.

So many kids are going throught this.

What are we going to do about it?

I suggest that if you love your kids, STOP FIGHTING! in front of them.


Or split up.

Some peoples ego goes beyond their children, where they do not even see them. This is a situation that will scar a child years before their time.

The ego is harder to get to then most think, people would rather believe that they will NOT be affected.

I wish it was another way ... but it isn't.

Peace.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Yes, humans are weird - they don't not care about their children , they do not care about the planet and they do not care about each other.

fighting i agree it is not good to do infront of your children ,however blinding them to reality is not the best thing to for them ,we live and make change in our lives from our experance's but i think the point i am trying to make here is let your children live and mold their selfs and do not hold them back ,for i was held back and it did nothing good for me in my life ,and i see this alot ,

anyway thats just my opinion many tanks ,nephi

reply to post by Nephi1337


Thanks, Nephi, but we do horrible things to kids when they are growing up.

My 2 year old grand-daughter is already scared of her father, because he has rages.

So now she doesn't trust men.

And that is sad..

reply to post by Nephi1337


Its a form of acceptance, IMO opposed to something they will have to learn.

When you show your children that it is UN ACCEPTABLE you let them know that this is not the way that it should be, the way you make it, and being with someone that allows it, is out of the norm for them, they then look for someone else.

Children will not, and do not know unless it its shown by example.

Peace.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


its hard to say really if our kids are going to mold for out examples or not,their are many cases in witch parents are the best that they can be and still the child turns out a bad seed ....bottom line the more you out into your children the more you will get out

Originally posted by catwhoknows
reply to post by Nephi1337

 

Thanks, Nephi, but we do horrible things to kids when they are growing up.

My 2 year old grand-daughter is already scared of her father, because he has rages.

So now she doesn't trust men.

And that is sad..

it is indeed sad ,no child sould fear their father at that age ,it makes me wonder if it is just the rage she fears ?....also the good thing about life when it comes to being a parent is that their will be a day .that her father will wake up and sit alone and cry for his actions ,now your roll is to keep your grand child safe from that and teach her the meaning behind it ..many thank

and i am truly sorry

Nephi

reply to post by Nephi1337


Oh, I am trying to keep her safe.

Thank you so much, Nephi.

Our children? Nope don't think so.

I have MY children, which are mine and you can't do anything about it. Tough luck. I will take care of my own.

You can do whatever you want with YOUR children. I don't care if you kill them and eat them, I really don't.

Mine will inherit the Earth so I don't give a **** what you do with yours. Fry em fillet em skillet em bake em, I really do not care. It's your business not mine.

But it's NOT your business what I do with mine. See?

FYI Mine are being educated about advanced math, science, and reading/writing. I don't lie to my kids the way others do with theirs *holiday stories, etc*. So my kids are going to excel in their minds.

I am just sick of the "child police" coming and sticking their nose in other people's business so don't take it personally unless you are guilty of doing this.

Other people's kids is not our business. It isn't.

So there is no such thing as "Our Children". Unless we are an ant colony with a Queen ant that gave birth to us all? Nope, last I checked we are not an ant colony. My parents are not your parents. And this isn't a collective.

It's a free for all. Every man for himself.

reply to post by catwhoknows


Having grown up in an abusive household, with 2 parents that were prone to rages, protecting your granddaughter is important, but I would also like to add, it's never too early to start therapy, if you are worried about her being in such fear.

If she has already witnessed many fights, even if the parents do split up, the damage may already be done!

You can't take back what has already happened, and if you are this concerned, consult a professional!

I have to say that I grew up with my parents fighting everyday and saying swear words and even once we had a car accident because of their fighting.
But if you're a strong person that will make you stronger.
I try my best everyday not to end up like my parents, in a way its a lesson about all I don't want to be.
It has affected me I have to admit it but I learnt a lesson from that too.

And I'm not going to stay here and blame my parents because in MY case and my case only they don't know better, my mothers father was an alcoholic and gambler and her mother only cared about good manners and work, my father lived with his grandparents because his mother would only take care of few of her children and my dads sister is a schizophrenic. All in all there is always a reason for parents being abuse.

Dear OP, where does this statement come from?
Do your folks fight in front of you?
Or did you fight in front of your kids and see the error of your ways?
You leave a giant hole behind in the OP and no explanation why.
More backstory please.

I felt compelled to comment on this thread as I too was brought up with Domestic Violence. Something that I couldn't control as a child, I just had to 'put up' with it, as so many other children have to do, in the day and age when alcahol is cheap, family break downs are through the roof, debt is even higher. Mental abuse can stay with you as much as physical abuse. I was lucky in the sense that I wasn't physically abused, I just saw the abuse to my mother, and yes, it does always stay with you in some way. I vowed that I'd never let my kids see or hear the things that I saw and heard growing up, it made me stronger. And thanks to that, I'd like to think that my kids are happy with no worries as far as their mum's concerned, AND I hope they've learned to value all of these things.

Thanks for the thread

Originally posted by catwhoknows
reply to post by Nephi1337

 

Thanks, Nephi, but we do horrible things to kids when they are growing up.

My 2 year old grand-daughter is already scared of her father, because he has rages.

So now she doesn't trust men.

And that is sad..

While I understand your feelings, one thing that you have to understand is that the raising of that child is NOT your responsibility. Though you may not agree with how her parents are raising her, it's their child and they must learn and/or decide for themselves what is in her best interests. Stepping in and dictating to them how they should raise her will do nothing but create animosity and resentment, and possibly make the current situation worse.

During my childhood years I was often physically abused by my father, leading to horrible fights between he and my grandmother. Those fights resulted in very hostile family relations, and eventually led to no contact between them the last 15 years of her life. I loved my grandmother dearly, but her protectionist viewpoint, though well intended, only stoked the fire that led to family chaos.

When my children were young, it was my time to face off with my mother in law, who disagreed with corporal punishment. Her belief in the "timeout" system" vs. my quick "swat on the butt" philosophy were absolutely incompatible, and I really resented her for trying to dictate to me how I should raise my children.

Time has passed, and now I find the tables reversed. I have a daughter in law who excessively spoils my grandchildren, but while I may not agree with her disciplinary beliefs, I understand and accept the fact that the choices regarding their rearing is NOT mine to make. My time to affect change is past. My place now is to lovingly support from the outside, and allow her to learn the lessons we all learn as parents.

Though your 2 year old granddaughter may seem like she is already traumatized by her father's fits of rage, it is, unfortunately, something that either he'll have to consciously change, or that she'll have to adapt to. While we all dream of the perfect fight-free family home, the fact remains that that scenario is often nothing more than an illusion, and we must, instead, make the best of the cards we've been dealt. Hers may not be the ideal environment, but I'd bet it's still much better than what 80% of the world population has to work with. Have faith. She may only be two years old, but kids are often much more resilient than we give them credit for.

If a child is being abused by their parents or other relatives, it is a duty as a human being to put a stop to it. Its pretty obvious that stepping in will cause even more trouble - thats the nature of the beast. But at the end of the day if you just allow it to go on you play a part in the abuse being dished out.

[edit on 28-8-2010 by EnactedEgoTrip]

Originally posted by muzzleflash
I am just sick of the "child police" coming and sticking their nose in other people's business so don't take it personally unless you are guilty of doing this.

Other people's kids is not our business. It isn't.

So there is no such thing as "Our Children". Unless we are an ant colony with a Queen ant that gave birth to us all? Nope, last I checked we are not an ant colony. My parents are not your parents. And this isn't a collective.

It's a free for all. Every man for himself.

Ever heard of something called PEER PRESSURE? thought so, you get the idea.

Originally posted by catwhoknows
Do we care that our kids are being distorted?

When children witness their parents fighting, they become distorted.

So many kids are going throught this.

What are we going to do about it?

I suggest that if you love your kids, STOP FIGHTING! in front of them.


Or split up.

So let me get this straight if parents have a fight they should split up?
Life is not rainbows and butterflies. Dont get me wrong there are cases that are bad but to lump everything together is---I am not sure what it is but it is wrong.

Best thing to do is not bring kids into the world, that would solve your problem.

2nd line