To anyone out there.....

I write this with a heavy heart. I guess you would call this a message in a bottle. I really need to get this off my chest and get it out there. So if you will give me your time and eyes for a brief minute or two, I would be ETERNALLY grateful.

I've been on the most mind boggling spiritual/mental experience for the past 2 years. I have experienced almost every single mental "disease" known to man in my uphill battle against insanity and depression. What used to drive me insane is now just a walk in the park most of the time. However, the rabbit hole seems to go deeper and deeper draining my ability to find common ground with some frame of reference. I already know from the texts and testimonials of this world, that this is the wilderness that awaits any human being striving to find his/her purpose in the World.

Throughout what would seem like Thousands of lifetimes I have lived within my mind, taking different forks in the road, I have always found myself back at the original question. "What am I supposed to do here?".

I agree with the teachings of the Christ, buddha in terms of their ability to reveal all truth, regardless of the cryptic appearance of their teachings. The reason I agree so much with these ancient teachings is because it matches almost perfectly with my own walk in life. There's comfort in exterior confirmation when you are in the deep wilderness of an aimless life.


So, I know that I was born a slave here. I know that those who can't see, don't see yet. I know there is a God and I know that there are few paths of life that lead to the promise land, the heaven on Earth that we are ALL striving superficially to achieve. But being born in America, the wrong way of living has been so ingrained into my being, I find it difficult to let go of my shackles. Yes, I know it is all fear, and one must seek to conquer their fear.

But, no matter where I look, I find myself in bondage with the Dollar. Everything I need to survive in this Country, requires me to whore myself for worthless paper doing pointless work. To make matters worse, the jobs that used to give you a shred of dignity are quickly being replaced with production-less institutionalized corporate graves. Look at all of the most sucessfull companies of today and you will find that they produce absolutely NOTHING, and contribute absolutely NOTHING to the world (Google, facebook.. Dot coms). Not to mention these cancerous corporations that have mastered the art of repackaging the same old crap and reselling it to us with prettier colors (Car companies, computer manufacturers, Apple, Microsoft, Ford, Aircraft mfgs, Clothing companies, almost everything! is recycled junk released one version at a time). One begins to wander if he is going to have to be in servitude to these types of industries in order to survive.

The deeper I have gone in my spiritual journey, the more I began to see the clear face of Satan himself and thus the realization of the Christ conscience. I learned the importance of learning the true definition of happiness and joy, earlier in life. Because that is usually the thing you are going to be chasing your entire life. If you were taught a lie that happiness is getting good grades and job reviews, promotions, money, cars, popularity, toys, houses, ownership, you could spend your entire life empty and unfulfilled. Even the Elite are blind to the foolishness of it all , Satanic or otherwise.

That is where I find myself. I am fully awake from a complete Lie about everything I've been taught was right and correct. I have learned that Love is the only true answer, but I'm painfully aware that in order to have it on Earth we have to wait on the masses of those who are still fighting and destroying it.

I have also experienced the totem animal spirits of the Bear, a T-Rex type animal, Ape-like animal, Falcon and briefly an Eagle. I am currently being visited by a Panther and can't seem to navigate myself out of this state of solitude and isolation...perhaps I am just beginning my journey.

Currently, I find myself trying to figure out a way to achieve the spiritual freedom that comes with unconditional love for EVERYTHING. To have no want or need of anything whatsoever but Love. But like you, I have hatred, fear and pain in places deeper than my conscious mind can see. Thus the long struggle and repetitive trials I am going through to dig it all out.

I realize that I have not only been a slave my entire life, in servitude to others for provision of my life's wants and needs, but that I am a Prisoner in my own home. There are billions of people who are blindly contributing to the killing of freedom and all the crime, misery and emotional problems that it creates.
There doesn't seem to be a way to wake all of them up, especially the cops, armed forces and all the other blind gun toting goons we foolishly put our trust in.

It feels like we are too late to the party. We have been herded into a room, and there seems to be no way out because of the masses of people constantly running in.

We are being disrespected and treated like cattle, yet we tolerate it because we want a paycheck. They dangled a big bag of fear under our feet by crashing the economy, and now we are running faster than ever into the room. Blind, stupid and full of pride.

I have spent many weeks in the conclusion that I have been spectacularly set up to fail and ultimately blame myself without assistance from others and I can't seem to find the freedom that's on the other side of that.

On top of all of that, I have become aware of alien intelligence, felt the affects of EMF and Soundwave technologies. Aware of 4th and 5th dimensional travels, and the biggest enemy of them all... Lower Astral beings or Demons. This is all from my journeys in meditation and contemplation. So on top of the self worthlessness we all have for ourselves, evident in the things we pursue, tangled in a system of money, faced with poverty and endless servitude among a crowd of happy idiots, we have the massive satanic effort to destroy us through poison, bullets and bombs. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that we are TRULY in the end of days. So if that's the case...what's the point of my life? Am I supposed to open a church or something? Or go out and feed the poor? :/ be homeless myself?

reply to post by Visitor2012

Perhaps your mission is to be a beacon, transmitting energies,vibration,frequencies that will raise the collective frequency. You may not feel it happen, but it is occuring. Perhaps you've moved a number of times in your life and act as an accupuncture needle upon the surface of the Earth. You may have no knowledge of this occuring. Please remember that the hardest lesson in compassion is to compassionate to yourself. Meditate and ask any questions you may have to your higher self. This is just you in the future. I feel the same way you do. I don't belong here. I have an important mission though I don't know exactly what it is. I do not resonate at all with all of the violence,greed,corruption and inequality presently being fostered by TPTB. I just want to go home but I have no idea where home is, nor have I any memories. AND you really can't share all this with anyone. Hang in there. KNOW that you are very much loved and protected. Try to enjoy your life and if you don't, change what needs to change in your life to make it enjoyable. Light & Love to you. Namaste

it is a basic fact of the human condition; we all must work to provide for ourselves. this is not slavery, it is reality, and has been throughout human history. seek and find a decent job to pay your bills. accept that you will spend the vast majority of your time and energy doing this. 99% of us are in the same boat.

attend a church. you will find friends and gain spiritual enlightenment.

take comfort in the fact that this earthly life is just a short period of our existence, compared by some to a mist that dissipates. we were created for a purpose, and most of that will not be revealed to us in this world. it is counterintuitive to think that we are blessed with talents and wisdom that will forever go unused. an acquaitance of mine compared life on earth to basic training in the military; you have to go through it to prepare yourself for your REAL existence.

I would recommend you focus on the Bible and disregard other texts, and especially these totems. the enemy excels at deception and disguise. find the One Truth and disregard the imitations (I know, that's my opinion; well, that's what works for me).

God be with you. I'm putting you on my prayer list.

reply to post by Klaatumagnum


I'm understanding what you're saying. I fear that I will find no way out of being a worker for the rest of my life. There's little time to serve purpose when I'm busy trying to afford food and shelter. I don't even know where to begin to fabricate a want for a job of any kind. I feel I am here for my own unique purpose and I don't want to be a part of the hive any longer, but I see no means of affording the right to live on this path...at least not yet.

The most important thing is for you to be contented and comfortable. Happiness is a tricky word. Was it Herodotus who said, "Call no man happy until he is dead?" Contentment and comfort aren't happiness, but they feel good, they allow you to relax and they help protect you from everything in the world.

What's important to remember is that the world has always been pretty terrible. I'm no big fan of governments or their current doings, but we have a lot more freedom now than most of history ever did.

When we were apes we were enslaved by fear of predators and fear of starvation.
When we were tribals we were enslaved by the animals we had to follow.
During the ancient civilizations millions were literal slaves and if you weren't a slave you were still probably under the control of kings or, worse, kings who thought they were god. The majority of people were still enslaved by back breaking work.
Then you have serfdom, widespread ignorance which contributes to fear, no health care. Life's always been more bad than good.

Appreciate what we have these days. A lot of modern innovations make the excesses, stupidities and power that the rulers have make the world scarier, but it's par for the course. All countries will collapse some day. None of them have lasted forever. When it all crumbles it'll be bad, but there's no one to play Atlas and hold it all up. We just have to roll with the punches.

Focusing on love is the right way. Love, understanding and unity. The thing about love is a lot of times universal love comes from being beaten yourself. When you go through pain, degradation, persecution and all that you either become hardened or hateful or you understand the troubles other have. It's good you decided on love.

If you find love in religion and philosophy, that's fine. It sounds like you don't just dabble in Christianity, so that's good. Don't listen to that guy who told you to just focus on the bible for fear of deception. That's ridiculous. I don't believe in any religions, but all of them have valid points and if different aspects of multiple religions give you comfort then don't give those up for anyone.

EDIT: And don't worry about what your purpose is. No one's purpose was ever pondering their purpose. Don't force it, you'll find it. Ideal humanity isn't programmed with a purpose, that's what truly makes us free.

[edit on 8/26/2010 by SaulGoodman]

I read a very good book about materialism long ago called:

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

Event though it is called the The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, it could also be called The Seven Spiritual Laws of Life.

This being due to these laws in which it describes are in actuality the same principles that nature uses to create everything in our material existence - everything we can see, smell, hear, taste or touch.


It in essence conveyed that materialism as we are taught to cherish is not what brings of happiness. It's the law of giving, giving of non material things such as things created out of love and happiness.

So try doing something where you are giving, not materially, but from your heart, or your labor, to help the elderly or the young for example.

Even by Paying a compliment to a depressed friend to make them feel better about themselves that day ....

For it is all positive energy into the world, a vast cosmos of energy.

No cost to you to give but only sheer love and happiness from the heart.

Which in the bigger picture of Karma, will be reciprocated to you 10 fold in return.

Peace.



The book is on Google Books for free:

books.google.com... =book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CC0Q6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

You should not feel alone, visitor. I don't want to jump out and make it look like I'm trying to 'steal your thunder', if you will, but I must say that I've had similar feelings of contemplation and awareness. Is it possible this is part of the entire awakening that is supposed to take place during 2012? Almost everything you mentioned (set aside a few things, like the mental diseases - but exclude from that a slight feeling of dementia (even though I am young yet) and depression) I have felt as well. I cannot offer you any true answer to your question but it might offer some help to know that you aren't alone. I doubt we are the only two who feel this way. There has to be a purpose. I believe we may find out what that purpose is before too long, visitor. Good luck in your quest to seek out and answer to the troubles.

Well what ever you decide to do, don't stop telling us . Thank you for your words as they could also be mine .I often like you end up with the why? I guess shedding the fear we have for others could be the hardest of all .I want to leave you or maybe someone else with a vid. Its 2 1/2 hours long and is a history of mind control .Most here will recognize parts from this vid .I was surprised to find parts I was not aware of . video.google.com...

You say "On top of all of that, I have become aware of alien intelligence, felt the affects of EMF and Soundwave technologies. Aware of 4th and 5th dimensional travels, and the biggest enemy of them all... Lower Astral beings or Demons." I cant say for sure what people feel or think is wrong , but like Toto from the wizard of Oz, sometimes we are tricked into believing these things ...peace

reply to post by works4dhs


I would agree with you on the human condition, that we must all work to survive and live. But that only applies if you can Live off of your work.
I agree with you about the totems. These animal spirits can block your journey if you do not know how to use them properly. I notice many people who build Ego's around their newly found spiritual friend and depart from their path of enlightenment. They are very powerful and Godlike visitors. But, I agree, in the end, it all boils down to reading the bible, understanding Christ and seeing self.

In terms of day to day living, I can't seem to find a way to provide for myself doing what I truly like to do, because the people who will pay you, want to tell you how to do it! On the other hand, if I made a lot of money doing what I loved...I am still at the mercy of the men who control the value of my money! They can manipulate the worth of my labor and thus my time. And if I choose not to work for money, then I better hope I can eat my labor and live in it, otherwise I'm going to be a homeless man on the street. Greeeeeat. I can just see animals laughing at us in amazement.

To make things worse, the money I have in my pockets, doesn't even belong to me! So here I am, a slave, in servitude to not only the corporations that attack my sovereignty through political corruption and murder, but to the very dollar of which they control the value! Thirdly, I can't eat my labor so if I don't work for money..I starve.

This puts most of us in the same prison, regardless of the size of our cells.
and the scary part of it is that we pay ourselves to build the walls using the money that they create. They don't need the money...WE do. They are free, we are not. Even though it appears that we all have the ability to achieve our highest dreams...all of our world's systems have been cleverly crafted to make the path nearly impossible for most.

There's something inherently evil about that.

[edit on 26-8-2010 by Visitor2012]

reply to post by Visitor2012


I hear you and can sympathise with much of what you're saying.

For me, the trick was quite simple and now the days roll by with pleasure.

Each fork in the path that you have referenced is not there to confuse you or force a right or wrong decision. The different paths available are often all right and we just have to make a commitment and journey with a handful of good intention and openness in our rucksack. Confusion and pressure will otherwise take hold and prevent us from enjoying the scenery.

Why am I here?.....to enjoy the ride, point to some of the nice views for others to see and to kick the odd monster along the way.

It's fun and when it seems serious, that's time to sit down and have a picnic, regain my focus and then be on my merry way.

Big ball of dirt hurtling through space in a big dark void. I gave up trying to explain or comprehend that one years ago, now it's just "weeeeeeeeeeeee!"

reply to post by Visitor2012


Let me tell you that even though I am fully awake and understand all or most of what this entails.
I have very few fears.
My biggest fear is a life without Twinkies.
Yes Twinkies, they are satans food but they are sooo good.
I am not overly overweight and I realize for each I consume there is a tradeoff of work but I do it anyway.
I fear the loss of coffee as I love that beautiful dark nectar so.
Anything else I'm not really worried about as I realize things come and go even including me.
It is just these are my comfort things.
Now onto your question, what must you do?
Breathe, nothing else if you are breathing you are alive.
From there you can do anything you want.
If you die then none of it will have mattered so just breathe
Wash rinse repeat.
The best things in life are not free, they are about $1.77 a package.

reply to post by nerbot


I agree with you there. That is a way of having a joyful life and I envy you for being able to do it. Sometimes I also feel that these branches are designed to teach and not harm. I know fear is an illusion and it is not real. However it is deep within a lot of us, and very difficult to subdue. This I know, is also by design and a part of the indoctrination of "civilized' nations. But knowing about it doesn't make it go away for me.

I wake up and enjoy the day as best as I can. I walk my line as close as I can. But even in the knowledge that no one is perfect, I still find no reprieve to the worrying and suffering of where my next meal is going to come from. This might be a little easier to bear if I was still earning a living, but I'm out the game. A nobody on nostreet lane and no prospects. With deteriorating hope that I might see and experience a life of peace with the mental ability to appreciate the wonderfull things that ARE in my life.

Seeing through the lens of endless depression, looking at the beauty around you on the other side of a glass pane. Unable to love it completely and unable to love even myself. I had contemplated suicide....but then God.....came into view. Now at least, I know I'm in a prison. In my search for wisdom from those who walked the same path, I see that the power of manifestation is the fruit of thought, intent and love. I seem to be sorely lacking in all three. Again, probably by design....

[edit on 26-8-2010 by Visitor2012]

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by Visitor2012

 

Let me tell you that even though I am fully awake and understand all or most of what this entails.
I have very few fears.
My biggest fear is a life without Twinkies.
Yes Twinkies, they are satans food but they are sooo good.
I am not overly overweight and I realize for each I consume there is a tradeoff of work but I do it anyway.
I fear the loss of coffee as I love that beautiful dark nectar so.
Anything else I'm not really worried about as I realize things come and go even including me.
It is just these are my comfort things.
Now onto your question, what must you do?
Breathe, nothing else if you are breathing you are alive.
From there you can do anything you want.
If you die then none of it will have mattered so just breathe
Wash rinse repeat.
The best things in life are not free, they are about $1.77 a package.

I would argue that a bachelor might have an easier time with that method than someone who has a wife and children on the edge of poverty relying on Good ol' dad to deliver the goods! f I was a single man, it would be easier to do this. I could live in my car without looking at young eyes staring at me for solutions and food.

My friend, I wish all I had to do was breath to feel alive, a mindset similar to anyone who has been through tragedy and learned the hard way, how to be grateful and appreciative of their life regardless of circumstances.

reply to post by Visitor2012


You are experiencing the trouble because you are attempting to comprehend too much. There's no other meaning of life than to live and make the best out of it.

Take the life as it is, do not try to fantasize it into something very meaningful. We are merely bactaria in scale of universe. Your only moderate possibility is to enjoy your life - if you cannot do that, you're in hell

You deserve what you get.

-v

reply to post by nh_ee


Thankyou for that. I am going to check out the book you mentioned. I spent a few days serving food to hungry people just because I wanted them to eat something nourishing, it made me feel great because I wasn't thinking of myself. It was my first few steps towards giving for the purpose and need of giving.
If things keep the way they are..I might end up being served there one day....

Poverty is a crime, and I am slowly recognizing the civil unrest of many of our third world nations...United States is just joining the crowd....

I can relate in what you are feeling, and probably
many of us here can.

You seem to have good knowledge, and more important,
a great understanding of life.



Asceticism is not that you should not own anything,
but that nothing should own you." -Ali ibn Abi Talib





[edit on 26-8-2010 by samsamm9]

reply to post by Visitor2012


Inspiring video
about the subject

Originally posted by v01i0
reply to post by Visitor2012

 

You are experiencing the trouble because you are attempting to comprehend too much. There's no other meaning of life than to live and make the best out of it.

Take the life as it is, do not try to fantasize it into something very meaningful. We are merely bactaria in scale of universe. Your only moderate possibility is to enjoy your life - if you cannot do that, you're in hell

You deserve what you get.

-v

Indeed a very powerful method of survival if one can learn to find joy within it. But I feel, not think, but absolutely feel a sense of purpose for my life. For 30 years, I've lived my life without meaning as a bacteria created only to survive on the scraps left behind enjoying it as best as I could. But you know what that turned me into? An empty, purposeless bacteria of a Man incapable of Love and longing of joy and assignment.

You're right, I'm in hell. I'm trying to get out, but I don't want to live a purposeless life any longer. I do not want to be a blade of grass, just happy to be green, all the while slaving to afford the water I need to survive.

reply to post by Visitor2012


Now we get to the meet...err the meat.
I have 6 yes count them 6 kids, I raised them and bought and paid for every bit of their advertisement infested inflated garbage that let every kid in school know that they were cool and rich too.
Trick is, I am not rich for better than 20 years I worked 2 and 3 jobs, of course I have destroyed my physical self in the process.
Now none of this would have been possible without breath, as this is the basis for life it is the starting point to where my journey took me.
You start at the same point and will most definately reach a different destination in your journey, just enjoy the ride as you only get 1 of them.
My ride was bumpy because I made it so, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it.
maybe my journey was to show my kids what happens if you let your kids wants get ahead of your needs i really don't know but I had fun.
And now I plan on having more fun, at any cost.

reply to post by SaulGoodman


There is a lot of wisdom in what you wrote. I agree with what you are saying, just having a hard time applying it to my circumstances and emotional state.