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New and in search of help with empathy

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posted on Aug, 25 2010 @ 11:40 PM
Hello Everyone,
I'm a mom of 3 hence the name, and I need advice on controlling empathy. Not the spirit kind but the person to person emotion kind. When I was a teen I was empathetic to the point of depression and misery, skip ahead 20 yrs I am NOT a happy adult but my kids keep busy enough that I'm not always depressed.
My oldest is now 14 (boy) and is more empathetic then I was, so on top of the normal moodiness of a teen he absorbs everyones mood he talks to =( My friends read his FB posts and call me to see what is wrong all the time, they are worried he is suicidal. I watch him closely but I don't know how to help him control it. If he talks to a girl who is depressed then he is depressed, if he talks to his buddy who is hyper then he's see where this is going. He is a smart kid for the most part (136 IQ) but not much for common sense, he punched a brick wall when he got angry and had to have 2 surgeries.
I don't know if I'm on the right site for this but it was the first one I read when I googles "controlling empathy" that seemed worth a damn. Thanks for any suggestions.

posted on Aug, 25 2010 @ 11:58 PM
It sounds like he might just be very insecure in who he is and reflects others for acceptance.

posted on Aug, 26 2010 @ 12:23 AM
reply to post by Paschar0

It sounds like you just don't understand what she is talking about because you haven't experienced it yourself.


Onto the actual topic at hand, I believe I am some what of an "empath"...nothing to the degree of what your son seems to be, but I can relate. It's quite sad that people want to control or suppress this, if people weren't always so angry and depressed on the inside it wouldn't be so hard to live as an empath.

I too would probably be some what suicidal if I lived in a city area, I can bet you live in a fairly populated area. I live very isolated myself, it helps to keep my energy balanced I think. Too many energies in one place creates a chaotic atmosphere of clashing vibrations, IMO. That's about all I can say, I really don't know what helps control it, I just know how to live with it.

posted on Aug, 26 2010 @ 12:30 AM
Sounds like he needs a boost in self confidence. If he believed in himself, maybe he wouldn't be mooching off others feelings, you know what I mean? Self confidence can be boosted by accomplishing something difficult. I'm not talking about the temporary kind when you get hit on by a girl, rather the self confidence that you can drum up inside your self. Take him mountain climbing, white water rafting or something like that. Maybe even sailing (as cliche as that sounds). It doesn't even have to be physical, as his accomplishment could be mental too. Anyway, that's my two cents. Take it or leave it.


posted on Aug, 26 2010 @ 12:45 AM
reply to post by CTmom3

Hi there CTmom3,

First up, welcome to ATS. I hope you will enjoy it here.

The introduction forum is actually for introducing yourself and telling a little bit about yourself. After you have made 20 posts you can create a thread about any topic you wish.

This would seem to fit more in the "psychology and metaphysics forum", you will get much better responses there regarding your question.

As for your question, empathy works both ways. You can pick up on the sadness and depression of others but you can also pick up on positive and happy feelings of others.

Could it be that the social environment of your son, at this point in his life, is more negatively charged?? It might help a lot if he would interact with animals. I know they give me a lot of "peace of mind".....


posted on Aug, 26 2010 @ 05:31 AM
It doesn't have to be a negative thing you know, overactive amounts/ability to empathise.

He could be a great counsellor or author, the trick for now is trying to stop the empathy from controlling his life... and if he watches tv or has any sort of interaction with the modern world then this is innevitable; he is intelligent enough to realise how messed up the world is but not yet old enough to not give a damn.

Excercise, healthy food and lots of fun hobbies/activities. Encourage him to have lots of fun with his friends. Kill the tv, the news, the newspapers, even the internet.

Give him a few years and he will be a mature, sensible and understanding person... this part of his life that is hard for you to observe is actually making him into a really good person; only we can't see that yet.

posted on Aug, 26 2010 @ 05:37 AM
You have a sensitive and gifted child on your hands.

As you had experienced it before, you are in a better position to guide your child. Being sensitive, he will often listen first, then project himself into the victim's shoes and then attempt to grasp the situation better, relating himself to it.It is an uncommon gift amongst mankind.

If what the victim goes through is just some simple explainable quarel or misunderstanding, he would be able to help. But if it is something that is beyond his maturity to understand, for he would have little experience in life, he will feel so helpless that it will hurt him the way the victim had been hurt.

One way to help him is to let him understand his gift, and let him be aware that he will need maturity and experiences in life to fully utilise such gift, or it will only end up destroying himself before such gifts will reach its full potential.

With powers come responsibilities, and thus he must be aware of his responsibilities in life with such gift and that is to understand and comprehend more of human nature, through reading history, philosophies, literature, and spend more time discussing with family, relatives and friends on such issues to grow such gift.

No one will know how his future will look like, but it is within his free will and choice. With such gifts, he would be a valuable guide to humanity in ANY field of his interests.

Hope it helps. Good luck and cheers. :-)

[edit on 26-8-2010 by SeekerofTruth101]

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