A question about karma and revenge: The right thing for the wrong reason

Although my beliefs on karma may differ a little, I honestly don't think you should be very concerned. You committed to a man who treated you like a doormat. I believe the flaws in our 'selves' are what essentially create the karmic pitfalls we experience, unless of course we incarnated with the hopes of overcoming particular obstacles but i guess I'm straying a little off-topic as i could talk about this subject for a very long time.

There's few people in this world as selfless as you appear to be. I hope you don't lose that due to being disrespected (under-statement) because that would be the greatest tragedy. The man you speak of has reaped what he's sown, perhaps in prison he'll reflect upon his transgressions and be a better person for it in the long run, you did the right thing whether it was out of revenge or not. He'll benefit from it, and perhaps think twice before using such a wonderful soul again.

Originally posted by gemineye
reply to post by traditionaldrummer

 

Hey, I wont deny it! LOL! This was an old post, and yep, I'll admit I wanted revenge. I was scorned... boy, was I ever! It was an internal battle though. I do try to do what's right, even when it kills me, but this was one of the very very few times in my life that I just flat out lost all sense of judgement. I really was worried about the children. I was very fond of his son and I hate it when kids are put into bad situations that they can't control. Don't know what happened to that guy, but I'll freely admit I got what I had coming to me and it didn't take long either. I'm ok though. I'm sure the whole thing was a learning experience for him too. I realize that now. It's amazing how much different you can feel about a situation when you're not raging mad, lmao!

I'm pretty sure he never did get put in jail, but if he did, it was on his own devices. I finally gave it up after a couple weeks. That was back in the summer though and seems like even longer than that. Now, life is moving on.

Quote, "I'll admit I wanted revenge. I was scorned... boy, was I ever! It was an internal battle though. I do try to do what's right, even when it kills me, but this was one of the very very few times in my life that I just flat out lost all sense of judgement."

That's short term emotions. You said you considered the children's welfare before you made the calls. So your good judgment was mostly intact. It's called coming out of a codependent haze, and then doing the right thing even if you had gained some personal emotional satisfaction from the acts. You still made the calls mainly for the correct reasons.

Quote, "I really was worried about the children. I was very fond of his son and I hate it when kids are put into bad situations that they can't control."

That says it all, and those are long term emotions.

Originally posted by LilDudeissocool

You are trained and certified therapist, and she is on your caseload?

I believe you made more claims to her state of mind than I. Does that imply that you're a trained and certified therapist and she's on your caseload?

Originally posted by LilDudeissocool

It seems you are projecting a bit of hypocrisy.

Feel free to explain how my response was in any way hypocritical or projection.

reply to post by traditionaldrummer


Listen, I'm not going to get into a flame war with somebody who is set on their own opinions like you are. Especially with someone who thinks alcoholism is not a disease. That's some darkness there.

What did you do, read something like this www.amazon.com... touting the benefits of being a functional alcoholic?

It's all cool now everybody, LOL! Right now, my biggest issue is finding an avatar I like, HAHA! We can all just get along now, ha ha!

How do you know? Maybe he did end up in jail and maybe it was because of the phone calls you made out of scorn. How do you know what's best for someone else's children? Is it better for them to have a father present that has some personal issues or is it better for them to have no father figure present because he's in jail? Who are you to make decisions for other people's children?

reply to post by traditionaldrummer



Hmmm, I guess it's not up to me to make decisions for other people's children, but I'd hope that anyone else would share the same concern about another person's child if he/she knew the person was driving around, under the influence of pills. And as far as that goes, he was not only a danger to the children in the vehicle but to everyone else on the road.

There was more to this story than I originally posted, and to be honest, I don't even remember everything I said in the OP and I don't really want to go back and read it. But, if it makes you feel any better at all, I am still in touch with his family. They were good to me. Hell, even the mother of his child was good to me, and they would have let me know if he was in jail. They haven't. We're all friends now and we NEVER mention him, unless something major happens. For instance, when the mother of his child, who had FULL custody of said child, decided to stop letting him have visitation rights, they let me knew. I had nothing to do with that. Maybe you should berate her about what's best for her son.

Anyway, I see you're trying to start something and it isn't going to work. I'm over him. He's in the past where he belongs. If you think it should be legal for someone to be driving around, on pills (and lots of them) and think it isn't a safety concern for children or other innocent people on the road, then that's your own issue that you need to work on. Not mine. If you want to pick a fight with someone, you need look elsewhere cuz I'm not playing your game.

You have a good day now.

Originally posted by LilDudeissocool
reply to post by traditionaldrummer

 

Listen, I'm not going to get into a flame war with somebody who is set on their own opinions like you are. Especially with someone who thinks alcoholism is not a disease. That's some darkness there.

So you can't explain yourself? No doubt as it didn't make sense.

And no, alcoholism is not a disease, nor is codependency. Just because there's an "Anonymous" cult for people with such disorders that claims they are diseases does not make then diseases.

Originally posted by traditionaldrummer

Originally posted by LilDudeissocool
reply to post by traditionaldrummer

 

Listen, I'm not going to get into a flame war with somebody who is set on their own opinions like you are. Especially with someone who thinks alcoholism is not a disease. That's some darkness there.

So you can't explain yourself? No doubt as it didn't make sense.

And no, alcoholism is not a disease, nor is codependency. Just because there's an "Anonymous" cult for people with such disorders that claims they are diseases does not make then diseases.

Yeah, whatever, rock on.

Originally posted by gemineye
It's all cool now everybody, LOL! Right now, my biggest issue is finding an avatar I like, HAHA!

We can all just get along now, ha ha!

Here are some ideas

spaceweather.com...

Maybe you can incorporate some into your background. I know there are a ton of photos and animated segments on the net of that particular shower. It goes with the theme of you screen name anyway.

reply to post by gemineye


My thoughts and best wishes go out to everyone involved in this situation.

That's really all I can say.

It has been a while, but ATS still posts

Just wanted to say that while this one does not believe in "karma" necessarily.. the important part is how you (gemineye) personally have felt about the situation. If you have forgiven yourself, and your ex, then the weight of such things as "karma" hold no more water than an open hand.

It seems "moving on" and "forgiveness" do not always go hand in hand.

all the best, and with love