Originally posted by americandingbat


I really think you need someone objective but local to you to talk to. Personally, I would recommend the counseling center at your university (I'm assuming it has one, most of them here do). Someone there would be bound by confidentiality rules not to disclose what is going on to anyone else and should also be able to put you in touch with organizations in your area that help women who are being threatened. This might not be a typical domestic violence situation, but I think they'll have the best resources for you and also be able to talk to you about what it means to disappear.

Otherwise, especially if there is a large Muslim population in your area, there may be groups that specifically work for women's rights in the Muslim community. Again, they may be able to help.

Changing your names, moving to another country, and never contacting either of your families or your friends again will put a really huge strain on your relationship. There are practical things to consider -- how will you both get jobs if you're no longer going by the names on your college diplomas?

You need someone who you can actually tell all the details to to help you get through the logistics, and you can't do that here on a public forum.