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My situation, what would you do?

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posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 09:59 AM
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While questioning whether or not she is worth it is not the really the topic of the thread, it is still an important factor to for me to consider. Whether or not she is worth it or if I love her is something I have to decide for myself.

I get it, we're young and dumb. My purpose for making a thread was to receive advice on steps we could take or actions we should avoid to keep our location a secret. I'd rather that be the focus of the discussion we are having and not whether or not we are in love or if it's worth all the trouble.




posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 11:19 AM
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Originally posted by Infinityobserver
I get it, we're young and dumb.


ding ding ding ding.. winner winner chicken dinner.

I think you are looking for enablers more than advice...

good luck



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 11:43 AM
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reply to post by 5MaveN5
 


Yep, looking for enablers...did you read the thread? Carefully? I acknowledged more than once, that while not the focus, that I still considered separating from her an option?

Because I talked about her crazy Muslim father, I have a hidden agenda for creating the thread. Because I ask for information on my subject I don't really love her and my intelligence is questioned. Perhaps later I'll make a thread for asking for opinions about our situation. For now I'm really only concerned with advice and information on how to remain hidden from someone trying to find you.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 01:44 PM
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Originally posted by Infinityobserver
For all those questioning my motives for the thread: Ask yourself where would you go to get information on such a topic, then kindly post that as a response.

I know it's not good to use "why would I" type arguments but seriously though...what have I got to gain from making this stuff up. I'm not trying to prove any point or provide evidence of anything. I'm simply asking what would you do, if you were in the this situation.


What I would do is get a grip of myself. If I had no other course of action but to seek advice from an internet forum, I would get a very firm grip of myself.

The options open to you are numerous. Solutions, many. If I'm to believe you are telling the truth, young man, then post no more. Be a man.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 01:48 PM
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reply to post by Sam Vimes
 


Well thank you for your condemnation and contributing nothing of value to the thread. This is the kind of crap that makes ATS suck. I can't seek advise here? Says who, you?

Apparently seeking information is sign of weakness and also reveals my lack of commitment or intellect. Which is funny because I was under the impression that what ATS was/is for, to get information not covered in other places.

Perhaps in the future you will actually share some of those "numerous solutions"...


[edit on 19-8-2010 by Infinityobserver]



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 01:55 PM
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reply to post by Infinityobserver
 


My dear chap, I meant no offense. You need to sort this problem out for yourself. I personally, if I loved someone so much, would:

1. Do what ever it takes.

2. See 1.

Not saying you should. I hope the situation comes swiftly to a satisfactory end for you both.

Peace

ETA. I see you edited your post while I replied. If you ask for advice, be prepared to receive it. As per the poster below has said, run away, elope, take matters into your own hands and get a grip man. If the situation is as dire as you make it out to be, leg it.

[edit on 19-8-2010 by Sam Vimes]



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 01:57 PM
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You have 3 options: Do nothing(bad idea), run-away(good idea, unless fiance is amazingly beautiful), If you can't see yourself leaving her, then maybe he'll dissapear. Given he's a muslim who's already murdered someone, I doubt they'll be much of an investigation.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 02:06 PM
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Originally posted by Sam Vimes

Originally posted by Infinityobserver
If I'm to believe yYOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH, YOUNG MAN, then post no more. BE A MAN..


You're right that's not offensive...



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 02:15 PM
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Originally posted by Infinityobserver

Originally posted by Sam Vimes

Originally posted by Infinityobserver
If I'm to believe yYOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH, YOUNG MAN, then post no more. BE A MAN..


You're right that's not offensive...



I do not know you, I do not know if you are telling the truth. I'm merely saying that while you are conversing with me, your problem is not going away.

If you take offense so easily, I would suggest that taking any action to resolve your problem will be difficult to say the least.

I would ask you not to take any more offense, for non was intended. Good day.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 02:23 PM
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Thank you to those who genuinely tried to help. I came here for information. I see now that ATS is really about insulting and ridiculing people rather than making any real progress to the topics at hand. While there are those who honestly want to contribute, it appears that they are not the majority here...



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 02:27 PM
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reply to post by Sam Vimes
 


Ya I was pointing out that your statement was actually offensive. In your reply pretending to be of good intentions you snuck in another insult to my manhood. I showed you what was offensive, you assumed I was offended and then got another insult in.

[edit on 19-8-2010 by Infinityobserver]



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 02:50 PM
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Originally posted by Infinityobserver
The only reason I mentioned her religion is to help people better understand the situation we are in and the mindset of her family.


...your negative muslim / middle east tidbits were unnecessary... all those tidbits accomplished was to make you seem like you have another agenda, one that has nothing to do with the story you told and everything to do with reinforcing the misconception that all islamic people are violent radicals...

...in a previous response, you posted something like "you cant make this #$%# up!"... my response is - sure you can... even a normal 10year old could do it...

...if your situation is real - you need to drop that gal like a hot rock - because - the way you portrayed your situation indicates that you are not saavy enough to get a bone away from a dog, much less deal with people who have homicidal tendencies...



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 04:26 PM
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Originally posted by Infinityobserver
I respect you opinion but I will have to disagree. I did not ask whether or not she is worth all the danger or if I truly love her. While that is definitely something I should think long and hard about it was not the reason I made this thread.

I was just curious about what other people would do in this situation or how they might have handled a similar circumstance in their own life. I don't see how me seeking advice on this issue questions my love for her.


I think you've gotten a lot of good advice in this thread (along with some really bad advice, like making the father "go away"). And the most valuable advice has been to really think very hard about whether or not you want to go through with what you're proposing.

I really think you need someone objective but local to you to talk to. Personally, I would recommend the counseling center at your university (I'm assuming it has one, most of them here do). Someone there would be bound by confidentiality rules not to disclose what is going on to anyone else and should also be able to put you in touch with organizations in your area that help women who are being threatened. This might not be a typical domestic violence situation, but I think they'll have the best resources for you and also be able to talk to you about what it means to disappear.

Otherwise, especially if there is a large Muslim population in your area, there may be groups that specifically work for women's rights in the Muslim community. Again, they may be able to help.

Changing your names, moving to another country, and never contacting either of your families or your friends again will put a really huge strain on your relationship. There are practical things to consider -- how will you both get jobs if you're no longer going by the names on your college diplomas?

You need someone who you can actually tell all the details to to help you get through the logistics, and you can't do that here on a public forum.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 05:21 PM
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reply to post by Infinityobserver
 



Seriously, if anyone's a troll here it's you.


Whoa, simmer down there buddy. I wasn't implying your trolling, I would just like at least a small semblance of proof or a piece of evidence, as with anything else, especially seeing how your making some pretty hard-core accusations. Look, I'm not saying that it definitely didn't happen, only that it seems far out there which is all the more reason for some type of evidence, other than hearsay. After all, the standard here on ATS is usually much higher than to just accept hearsay or take the word of "Joe Citizen", especially when it plays into an already growing anti-semitic sentiment over Muslims and Arabs. Don't take it personal, we are all just here to deny ignorance.


All you have done is talk crap about my story being unbelievable and not even addressing the actual topic of the post.



It's not talking crap and frankly, your story is unbelievable. When you make such an accusation that plays into a stereo-type that has received allot of negative attention lately on this very board, you can't expect people not to demand even the smallest amount of evidence to support your claims. After all, the motto here is to "deny ignorance". If you came on here talking about your experience with being abducted by aliens or privy to some top secret information, proof would also be needed before most logical thinkers could take you seriously.


Think about what you just said. It's ok for me to black out names and information. Then how would you truly know what were the names behind the ink hmm? It was in the local news, not sure about mainstream though.


Any evidence is much better than no evidence. That's what ATS members are famous for, picking apart evidence to find the truth.


I believe my responses have shown that I have taken considerable time to contemplate my options here. I'd appreciate if you'd do the same before posting again. I'd also say to you that stereotypes exist for a reason.


The problem is, a lot of the stereo-types are falsely projected and almost always have an ulterior motive behind them. The bottom line here, is when you come out making wild accusations, especially when those accusations fit in with the hatred that has apparently been propagated through this board, people are going to demand evidence, not just your word that something of that magnitude happened.

There has been a lot of ignorant hatred being propagated throughout this board with most of it either being untrue or having some type of biased motive behind it, while completely ignoring the hypocrisy behind these hateful and ignorant statements. It would be foolish to think you can come to ATS and not be questioned about facts and/or evidence. You say something happened, then fine but don't expect people to automatically believe these accusations when you present zero proof or evidence to support your claim, especially when your claims seem to fit in with the hatred fad of the month. Whether your thread is intended for that or not is anyone's guess and it will most likely stay that way without any proof or evidence.



--airspoon



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 08:58 PM
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I am in your exact position. Except with the murder on record, hes a hell of an angry/ignorant guy.

Shes not Muslim, her parents are. I am not Christian, my parents are. Were 17, but our parents look at religion not existence.

I can seriously wait for the day i meet her father. He doesn't even know we are dating, and she said if he found out, he would seriously kill me. Although I am not taking it to heart, I do believe you should.

Avoid the father at all costs? Screw the marriage. Just be if its possibly going to kill you. Or at least have an extremely small secluded wedding. Of course I doubt she will agree with it, but try to 50 50 it.

Good luck to you, good luck to me. Father in laws SUCK!



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 09:04 PM
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I suggest explaining the universe and dinosaurs to her father, while she packs
and you both run far far away.



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 09:14 PM
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Foolish to stay w her. Your a young guy, with one life to live as you choose>>>>>I see a lifetime of trouble and worry, move on before you ruin your own life....seen it done so many times its sad..BELIEVE ME theres a better girl out there for you and you WILL find her...a little pain for now but a lifetime of Gain and happiness if you make the right choice...
good luick pal...been there and DONE THAT>>>>
KC



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 09:20 PM
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I have a relative that used to be in a relationship with a very dangerous criminal. when she left him he ended up leaving her with a skull fracture, pins in her legs and threatening that he would come back and kill her as soon as he got out of jail, so I have some knowledge of situations where someone knows where you live and wants to harm you.

First if you really love this girl then go for it, who is anyone else to tell you who you can and can't fall in love with.

Second, If the father threatens you call the police, if the father comes to your house call the police, if the father phones you up and makes threats then write down what was said and call the police.

Third If this behavior continues long enough you will be able to get a restraining order and if he ignores it he will go to jail. End of problem.

If when he gets out of jail the behavior continues then he will go to jail for longer the next time.



[edit on 19-8-2010 by davespanners]



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 09:33 PM
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Again with the Muslims.

This is what you shouldn't do...

Come here with idiotic questions.


Seriously, what is going on here ?!

Even if your story is based on reality, you taught because ATS is becoming a refuge for bigots, you should come here with your Islam( Islamophobic) issues?



posted on Aug, 19 2010 @ 10:12 PM
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reply to post by Infinityobserver
 


Screw these cowards who are telling you to run from the woman you love. If she loves you just as much then fight for her. Dont be a whimp, thats the problm with the world. learn to use a gun and keep your head on a swivel. You and your wife move to another state, with a small muslim population or city without one... DOnt be a whimp stand up for her, either she will love you more for it or she wont... Personally Start to use the bully tactic on him if you most, but never-evvveeeer back down from a bully, stand up to them.

[edit on 20-8-2010 by poedxsoldiervet]



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