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Is it currently a social taboo to say ''hello'' to strangers ?

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posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 02:05 PM
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Originally posted by Identified
reply to post by EnlightenUp
 


As a female I find men are more likely to respond back. But then that is a man for you. ;-)


Neighbour Girl: "Hi there new neighbour, would you mind helping me carry this exceedingly heavy piece of furniture into my apartment?"

Me: "Suuuree, not a problem, pleased to meet you."

*Carry* *Sweat* *Pain* *Stairs*

Me: "There you go, what was your name again?"
Girl: "Oh that's fine right there, now get lost."



Saaaaaad panda....




posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 02:21 PM
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reply to post by Identified
 


Well im not really sociable at all, not so good at holding conversations because of that i guess so that probably has a lot to do with it. 95% of the time i prefer being alone if im honest, doesn't bode well for having many friends never mind relationships but oh well.


[edit on 16-8-2010 by Solomons]



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 03:22 PM
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What do you guys expect in an orwellian world? The other day I saw a sign on the highway, and it read "Call 911 if you see a drunk driver"... Who wants to start a conversation if saying the wrong thing or acting strangely can get you a call/visit from the police. That's why I open carry a gun nowadays.

We are being trained to respond in such ways, as if a stranger is a cop or authority figure.

[edit on 8/16/2010 by LordBaskettIV]



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 04:50 PM
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Here are my experiences; I'm 20 and I live in North Italy.

- One day, last year, I was riding my bike on the streets of my medium size home town, when suddenly I experienced a big heat - stroke.
I left my bike falling on the street and I managed to take some water and throw up the water on my head, falling down on my knees, thinking " I'm gonna faint "...This while people were walking near me without even looking at me...
Than I decided to ask for some help and I met a woman riding a bike that told me " I have no time ". I ran toward her for a long time, and finally she helped me and I managed to call my father.

- Last year and this year I met and I got friendships with a lot of strangers...In my town there are a lot of teenagers that I had friendships with since years, and they have friends that I happened to meet and know.
They would say me hello and they would try inviting me to hold the hands...I refused to do it at first but the meetings with those teens became so many that finally I started a real conversation and I found out now that most of them have become my new best friends with a never seen rapidity.
I'm the son of famous parents in my home town, so all the teens, of all age, try to get to know me. This is what I noticed, although I don't search for any kind of popularity and would rather think to my things, but it has become an interesting phenomena in my life.

- Just today I met 2 new teens in the group of the people I know. Lately I happen to meet and befriend 2 strangers or even 4 strangers for each month.

- Today on the principal street of my hometown one of my friends made a game and said hello to every single person we met.
I noticed the reactions went from " Who is he? Do I know him? " to people who answered with hello, to people who insulted him with words , and one even called him insulting his mother.

- Some days ago I noticed something very curious. On a train, a muslim family occupied most of the seats in the " vagone " sorry I don't know the word, and a man walked near them , parents and 4 children, a man who can be defined as a pure western kind of person, and he stopped by for a while, commenting on the children. He seemed very open.
The family looked at him and ignored him.

- I think when you happen to know strangers, that's when fate is real. You never know how many people you know that also know your friends.

- I know most of my neighbors and a couple of them saved me from a very bad situation. Also our neighbors do help us with our cat during summer for at least 3 weeks.
For me neighbors aknowledgement is fundamental and I'm very active in it.

[edit on 16-8-2010 by Zagari]



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 05:09 PM
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reply to post by orange-light
 


Difference yes...

I would think that you would welcome a new face after so many years.
Silly people if you ask me.



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 05:15 PM
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reply to post by Sherlock Holmes
 


I find an acknowledging smile much more appropriate unless someone says hello to me. In this world where everyone is short on time. most are weary of making bothersome acquaintances and prefer close friends, at least this my outlook. I HATE small talk, I mean it makes me VERY uncomfortable. Unfortunately, you would be thought insane to walk up to someone and start talking about deep issues and heart matters...so yeah, a smile works for me.



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 05:24 PM
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I generally say 'hello' or more specifically 'goodnight' to people as i walk home from the pub at night.

Generally just to make older people feel a little safer when i'm crossing them on the street (as the sight of a six foot four person walking past them at night tends to generally worry some folk).




posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 07:36 PM
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Why would it matter if it was social taboo or not?

Say hello, if that's what you want to do. If they don't like it, that's their problem.

What a ridiculous discussion.

[edit on 16-8-2010 by Rthaothal]



posted on Aug, 17 2010 @ 07:32 PM
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I think that in the times we are living life is rushed. In big cities like New York life is even more rushed and people become paranoid because of the crime rate also.

So when some stranger dares look you in the eyes this tends to be felt as an invasion of privacy, a person trying to size you up to possibly rob you or fight you. This attitude has existed in NY since the late 70's.



posted on Aug, 17 2010 @ 07:49 PM
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Being cordial is considered rude these days.



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 09:22 AM
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I was at a school where I used to go and where I work from time to time as a gardener, today, and there was lots of people because the students (and therefor also teachers) were starting class tomorrow and today was roll call and stuff.

Anyway, there was this female teacher I met once when I was on a school trip with the school to Prague, and who seemed like a nice woman at the time. Today I said hello to her when I walked past her, and she looked at me like I had just given her the finger. I mean, what the heezy?



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 11:59 AM
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reply to post by Sherlock Holmes
 


I think what you said is right about people not saying hello to each other. But the question comes what can we do to break this conditioning that we have, to where we say to ourselves I just want to stya in myown little bubble.



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 02:38 PM
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Originally posted by Tarrok

Originally posted by Identified
reply to post by EnlightenUp
 


As a female I find men are more likely to respond back. But then that is a man for you. ;-)


Neighbour Girl: "Hi there new neighbour, would you mind helping me carry this exceedingly heavy piece of furniture into my apartment?"

Me: "Suuuree, not a problem, pleased to meet you."

*Carry* *Sweat* *Pain* *Stairs*

Me: "There you go, what was your name again?"
Girl: "Oh that's fine right there, now get lost."



Saaaaaad panda....


That is just awful. I don't know I would probably have to say something about her rudeness.

I am totally the type of gal that will just gush over a man being chivalrous. I am still what I consider fairly young. In my 30's ;-) and I am simply awed at the lack of manners now. Whenever a man just lets a door slam on me I will say something loudly about it. Usually "Hmmm I guess Chivalry and Manners are dead."

And I will hold a door for a man, woman, child, or dog behind me. So it isn't just men who are being rude today. Women are worse in many ways.

So I thank you for still having manners!



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 02:54 PM
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Great question OP! And something I notice a lot...

I live in a smaller city/town, anyone I am within 10 or so feet and make eye contact with a person I will try and acknowledge them with a wave,smile,verbal greet, or something similar. I get a lot of smiles and waves back. Some people look at me differently but I don't let it bother me and I think they realize that...

OP you may have gotten those responses because people might have felt you were looking at them for other reasons than selling hello. You did say that you tried it this morning?



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 03:00 PM
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I used to be more comfortable saying "hello" to passers-by, or a "good morning" to people who were walking to work at the same un-godly hour as me. The only reason that I've cut down on it (not completely given it up) is because I'm scared I'll catch the attention of some bad person.

Once I said hello to some random man, and he turned and started to follow me. THe train of thought I came up with: "Oh God, I've said hello to a psychopath, and now he thinks I'm some naive idiot who is easy for the killin'. I know, I'll start taking every random turn I can think of, then I'll run into someone I know and we can be safe together...." He went away after a couple of turns though.



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 03:25 PM
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I could be wrong, but I suspect that one of the main reasons people don't smile at or acknowledge others these days is because of self-consciousness and lack of confidence

In smaller populations where people know each other or get to know each other at least by sight, there's most probably a lot more friendliness

I've put the 'lack of confidence' theory to the test many times and have found that if you smile at an oncoming stranger from quite a distance away, it gives them time to respond. And these days, people need time, it seems, the reason being that most likely, in the past, they've nodded or smiled to someone and have been ignored. It embarrasses them. That hurts. So to spare themselves the pain of embarrassment -- especially if it's happened to them a few times -- they consciously adopt a blank, unseeing expression which to others comes across as disdain

Younger people hide behind this disdainful mask. Other young people, uncertain of how to behave and lacking confidence anyway, copy the mask of disdain. And over time, it's come to be regarded as 'kewl'.

In addition, people use props to mask their lack of confidence, props such as cell phones, ear-phones, sunglasses, blank expression, etc.

Most people are scared. And scared to show emotion in case it's regarded as un-kewl. Scared of rejection. Scared of life

They're lonely and feel isolated. They're convinced everyone else has masses of friends. They don't realise that behind all the masks, others are lonely too. No-one has the courage to make the first move. So they all walk around pretending to fiddle with their cell phones, their faces masked by sunglasses, their expressions blank and seemingly uncaring

There's another element too ... cruelty. It's contagious. A lonely individual, frightened and lacking confidence and hiding behind a kewl facial blankness, will deliberately not respond to another's nod or passing smile

The reason they ignore it is because others have ignored them in teh past. And it hurt. So in order to 'pay back' society at large, they inflict the same hurt on someone else. And that gives them a feeling of power and control and in a twisted way provides them a tiny increase in confidence. As I've said, it's contagious - a spreading, negative nastiness - spite. There's a lot of spitefulness around

All my life, I've been sensitive to the issue raised by the OP. It's affected me variously over the years and I've watched the damage it's done to others

My own solution is to wear a semi-smile as often as I can remember to do it. I refuse to be part of or party-to this epidemic of sulky-looking 'kewlness'. Try it. You'll see that those who pass you will reveal surprise and across their faces will be a brief, ' What are you smiling at ? ' expression. Which of course reveals that all those blank faces ARE noticing each other, even though they pretend otherwise. Your little private-smile will annoy them. They don't like the unexpected. They prefer wall to wall blankness. Also, that little half smile of yours will take the fun out of it for them when they ignore/blank you

Next, train yourself to not take it personally when others ignore you after you've nodded or said 'hi' or whatever in passing. Don't take it personally. Visualise it as a wave that passes right over your head and vanishes into the gutter. Don't absorb it. It's not you -- it's them - they have no confidence

And then you can proceed with your war against coldness and fear

I've found it helpful to imagine you're Bill Murray or Will Ferrel or Whoopi Goldberg ... or whomever you fancy who fits the bill. They don't allow themselves to be made smaller, and nor should you. So slip into the role as if it were a coat or jacket and have fun with it. Hit people with that 1000 watt Whoopi grin, or a Bill Murray cocky and wacky head lift

It's up to those of us with a bit of steel in our spine to combat the spread of negativity - and in doing so, make those poor blank and frightened souls out there know they're not alone on an ice-floe



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 03:37 PM
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reply to post by Dock9
 


Just wanted to say; EXCELLENT post, dude.


Besides that, which is more fun? To smile and laugh, or to look like you're in a chronic bad mood and/or apathy?
I find that thinking of funny stuff when I'm out walking, and thereby smiling, tends to not just make people not so hostile, but, you know, make my day tremendously much better to boot.



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 03:53 PM
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reply to post by Sherlock Holmes
 


No # sherlock lol....

All I can say from my point of view is that I can't stand to even make eye contact with the rest of the human race, to be greeted by another individual in the street just makes my blood boil. I normally ignore them or if I'm having a particulary bad day I tell them to GFY! I hate the world and everything in it that much, hope this helps......



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 04:10 PM
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Originally posted by Rthaothal
Why would it matter if it was social taboo or not?

Say hello, if that's what you want to do. If they don't like it, that's their problem.


It matters, because breaking a social taboo may result in ''their problem'' quickly developing into ''your problem'' !



posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 04:11 PM
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Originally posted by strangleholder1
No # sherlock lol....

All I can say from my point of view is that I can't stand to even make eye contact with the rest of the human race, to be greeted by another individual in the street just makes my blood boil. I normally ignore them or if I'm having a particulary bad day I tell them to GFY! I hate the world and everything in it that much, hope this helps......


LOL.
Just as long as you're happy, man.



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