Could the US successfully invade Canada?, page 3

Originally posted by 0zzymand0s
Whataya mean we wouldn't be able to tell you apart from our own people?

That's easy. Just line up 25 people at a time and make them say "about".

Anyone who says "a-boot" takes one for the team.

(Totally kidding here, I adore Canada, and think you guys are awesome!)

Here's a sure fire test to detect the evil Canadians among us:

How to spot Undocumented Canadians

Edit to add: Dang it, it ain't there anymore. Luckily I had the best part saved:

"Ask them to apologize to you. If the suspect claims he is 'so-ree' he is likely Canadian (though possibly just lobotomized), and you may require documentation."

"If the suspect has a mullet but no Kentucky accent, you may require documentation."

"The preferred Canadian ensemble includes plaid flannel, tight-fitting knit caps, pegged stonewashed jeans, and LA Gear high tops. Same with the men . .

"See if the suspect agrees with you that Alex Trebek is a brilliant and talented Canadian. First, no one but a Canadian cares or knows that Trebek is Canadian; and second, no one but a Canadian would find Trebek anything but insufferable . . ."

"Ask the suspect to repeat the famous Gary Coleman line from the 80s TV show, 'Different Strokes.' If the suspect says 'Whatchoo talkin' 'BOOT, Willis," you may require documentation."

"If the suspect is carrying an open container of maple syrup in his vehicle, you may require documentation."

"If you are at a grocery store and witness someone buy more Kraft Mac and Cheese then any single family could possibly consume, especially if in tandem with an equally untenable amount of ketchup, you may require documentation."

"If the suspect is Asian, he is most certainly from Toronto and you may require documentation."

"Ask the suspect which is better, SCTV or Saturday Night Live. If the suspect does not respond that 'it depends on which era of SNL you're talking about,' you may require documentation."

"If the suspect can name any NHL player besides Wayne Gretzky, or cares in the least about any hockey game except for the Miracle on Ice, you may require documentation."

"If, after you have proceeded through each step in this section of the manual, the suspect has not revealed himself to be Canadian but nonetheless answers your questions politely, without agitation or annoyance, and with effusive deference to your authority, or if he apologizes to YOU at the end (even without pronouncing his apology "so-ree"), then he is most assuredly Canadian and you may require documentation."

[edit on 8/13/10 by FortAnthem]