posted on Aug, 28 2010 @ 09:47 PM
This is for OP:
I took the time to write this because I wanted to share my own story of skepticism and how I came to believe, even though my God questions started at
a very early age. Not all of us come from a hard luck, rock bottom situation to belief. I understand that what happens to one is not proof for
another, but my objective here is to give you something to analyze.
(I apologize that this is so long, but all of it is pertinent)
When I was four I remember my Chronic Bronchial Asthma quite well. I remember the weekly visits to see Dr. Johnson and his nurse for my shots, and
playing ‘Old Maid’ cards with my mom in the waiting room. I also remember balling my eyes out every time I would receive a shot, which was the
purpose of every appointment. The illness I had kept me allergic to feathers, dust, pet dander, certain fabrics, pollen in the air, and it was like
being sick all the time. My bedroom had wood floors as opposed to carpet for that very reason. The type of asthma that I had caused attacks with my
My mother and stepfather (who adopted and raised me) were looking for a church that they could agree on. My mother came from Catholicism, my
stepfather from Southern Baptist. I remember attending different types of churches from week to week but not settling.
I remember loosing a couple of baby teeth, and putting them under my pillow at night, and receiving 2 quarters each time from the ‘tooth fairy’.
Also, every night before bed my mother would help me say the ‘Now I lay me down to sleep..’ prayer and also have me repeat the ‘Our Father who
art in heaven…’ prayer. To me, tooth fairy/God were the same in my understanding, we just only paid attention to one, unless a tooth came out.
I had lots of questions. I ‘knew’ (in my mind) the tooth fairy had to be real because each time a tooth was left under my pillow, the quarters
would appear by morning. I wasn’t so sure about God, so, what I began doing to ‘test’ God was to put 2 pennies under my pillow and ask him to
make them disappear. Of course every time I would look under my pillow, the pennies were still there. In my ‘child’ thinking, I remember being so
frustrated at this, thinking if the tooth fairy can do it, why can’t God? This became routine for a while. I never said anything to anyone about it
(parents). I just remember crying about it at night, being angry about it, and wondering why I was saying nighttime prayers to someone or something
that didn’t leave any traces, even the tooth fairy left traces and we didn’t pray to the tooth fairy.
I got to thinking about the tooth fairy, and questioning that if God wasn’t real, how could she be real? We didn’t pray to her. I had questions
and I wanted real answers. My mom insisted the tooth fairy was real and so was God. (she had no idea why I was asking)
My mom used to keep the red & white starlight peppermint candies in the kitchen. One day I decided to break up a bunch of them on the floor in their
cellophane. When I was unwrapping the cellophane there was a broken piece that looked just like a tooth (to me it did). I got this bright idea to test
the tooth fairy that night. I took the fake candy ‘tooth’ and put it under my pillow, fully expecting to see quarters. The next morning when I
woke up the candy tooth was still there, just like the pennies.
This upset me to a point. I remember going to my mom with the candy ‘tooth’ and telling her that my tooth came out and I put it under my pillow
and the tooth fairy didn’t come. I lied to my mom and told her it was a tooth, because I was afraid to tell her that I was trying to trick the tooth
fairy (tooth fairy/God, the same). She kept looking at it, looking in my mouth, and asking me if I was sure about that, and why didn’t I tell her. I
stuck to my guns on it, although I’m not sure my mother really believed it.
Anyway, that night we put it under my pillow and the next morning I got 2 quarters. At first I connected with the logic (in my mind) that in order for
a ‘tooth’ fairy to appear, my mother had to know about it. The more I contemplated it the more I began to wonder if my mom was the tooth fairy,
because ‘why wasn’t I able to get quarters from the tooth fairy without my mom knowing?’ If my mom was the tooth fairy, who was God, my mother?
I made such a fuss over that tooth fairy situation (how come the fairy only showed up when she knew about it?) that my mother finally admitted she was
the tooth fairy. She still insisted she wasn’t God. I never mentioned the pennies, but I was stuck on that logic too, that both the tooth fairy and
God were imaginary, not real.
Not long after that time, I remember kindergarten enrollment day. I met my soon-to-be teacher and was also introduced to some crying kid that was
going to be in my class. I remember looking at him and asking him why he was such a crybaby. The boy’s mother was talking to my mother and she
handed her a piece of paper.
A couple nights later on a Wednesday evening my mother took me to a large church. The lady who had given my mom the paper had recommended it to her.
On that particular evening my stepfather was working (he was going to school and working at the time). I can even remember the dress I was wearing
that night and what my mom did to my hair with all the hairspray before we left the house.
I remember sitting through the service and coloring in one of my coloring books the whole time, as I did at all the other churches we went to. When it
was over, instead of leaving, my mother took me by the hand and walked me up to the front where these men (elders) were praying for people. I
distinctly remember 3 men coming over and putting their hands on my head and praying. I didn’t know why, and had never had this done to me
I remember days later going to my usual Dr. Johnson, and sitting in the waiting room like always. I also remember that when we left we went to a
hospital instead of going home. At the hospital they set me up on a stainless steel table and pushed a steel square device behind me and one in front
of me for ex-rays of my chest area. I remember the ‘cold’ stainless steel and even having to take my shirt off to do it, which I wasn’t too
happy about because it was so cold. I didn’t know why, I was a kid. What I do know is that the doctors found all traces of my asthma were gone when
everything was said and done. I remember my mom explaining to me some time later what had happened with the results.
To this day I am 45 years old and have no allergies to anything, no asthma attacks, nothing. Asthma doesn’t disappear or go away, not that kind, and
I remember all the symptoms of it. While typing this I am wondering about the possibility of ever getting those records from 1970 and before. I
suppose even if I had the documents in hand, others could right it off as a long-term misdiagnosis or something.
This is what I learned from this. My questions toward God to prove himself with the pennies could have been momentary magic. What he did for me was
entirely tangible because my physical body bares the tangible proof, even today. Who in this world can take that proof from me? This is the whole
purpose of miracles, to bare witness of God to the individual, and also to those that surround the individual. (my doctor, my nurse, my mother, my
He showed me on his terms, not mine. Better yet, what would I have rather received; two missing pennies, or a lifetime physical healing that keeps me
in remembrance? This is what led me to really BELIEVE and is not something that someone else told me (the tooth fairy incident blew that out of the
water), or what was debated from the Bible (not old enough to even read the book).
Contrary to what people believe, TRUE followers are not aimless wandering weak-minded religious sheep, looking for something to believe in. People
that do that most likely end up in cults. We know what we know, because we bare witness to it in ourselves, all unique situations. The best part is
that after we really KNOW him (in my case 1989), he still continues to do things in our lives that can’t be explained away as coincidence. That’s
the mystery that we can’t explain in words and no amount of Biblical debate will uncover. Once you know, the rest of the debate is only semantics.